As I was reading my devotional today, I read about David, Goliath and the Children of Israel.  The following is copied from that devotional and I will provide references at the end.  “One of the big messages of the Old Testament’s history books for us is this: DON’T DO AN ISRAEL . Don’t try to survive using your own methods. Trust in God—and what He tells you—and discover just how big He is…” After reading that I was immediately humbled because I’m guilty of “doing an Israel!”  I have been anxiously struggling with an area in my personal life that requires attention, I have recognized the need and urgency, to make serious changes, I’ve prayerfully made my petitions and sought out advice…everything except total surrender to God, I guess maybe it’s pride and even a dose of shame no matter which it may be, I am feeling like I’m in the spotlight.  Everything feels like I’m falling apart, things are twirling around as if my insides are caught up in a tornado.  I have spent the past two years trying to fill someone else’s shoes, trying to extend another’s journey, keeping someone alive through mimicking actions and gestures, day by day I am failing miserably…how can I face these realities?  I’m scared to start the “conversation” and scared of what may come if I don’t start the “conversation!”  I know I am being very vague about this issue and not with just you the reader, I am constantly vague with everyone about this topic but I’m sure I am not alone, maybe by me being open and honest about my situation it will help you to be brave and trust God as I am trying to do.  My mother passed away in June 2012, I continue to miss her everyday.  My father and brother are also still grieving and that weighs heavy on my heart.  My mom was the “rock” of our family, she was one of the strongest women I’ve ever known, second only to my grandmother/my mom’s mom!  I come from a generation of strong women with high family values.  My mom was a financial guru, people have said that she could squeeze poop from a buffalo nickel! Growing up our family was not considered rich, more lower to middle class but my parents made my brother and me feel like we were not missing out on anything. I never went to bed hungry, always had clothing and shoes and if something was needed, mom simply found a way to get it.  After mom passed away, I slid into the role my mother had within my family, gladly I took over doing many things she had been doing and I have no, absolutely no regrets, it is just becoming too overwhelming and try as I may, I can’t squeeze like mom.  I feel shame that I can’t provide as mom once did, I give with a glad heart and with much love, it’s just not enough.  Sometimes I feel broken, I know God is with me and that His plans are better than mine and I need to relinquish the driver’s seat to Him, I need to learn and lean upon God’s promises.  I can’t really give you an ending to this story, not yet anyway.  Your prayers would be appreciated and as I continue my journey, I hope and pray you receive a blessing and possibly even encouragement in your spiritual journey simply by reading this entry, may God abundantly bless you today in all you require.  All that I am and All that I have are gifts from my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

~Blessing and Peace~

Reference: Explore Bible Devotional app for iPhone

HISTORY:

Trust in the Lord

Reading: 1 Samuel 17

There’s only one way to survive as a Christian: trust in God! And, surrounded as they were by aggressive and powerful nations, there was only one way for God’s people, Israel, to survive in the promised land God had given them.

The history section of the OT is pretty much a dismal record of how God’s people didn’t trust their Lord. It covers 1,100 years up to 400 BC, including a period in which Israel were kicked out of the land for persistently refusing to go God‘s way.

But the flip side is that it is also an amazing record of God’s patient plans with people who fail big time. And of God’s amazing willingness to use weak people who do trust their God.

The following is not original but I felt I needed to share this, I will place references at the bottom.  I agree with writer, there’s a huge difference between acceptance and approval.  I have friends in my life that accept me but not necessarily approve everything about who I am.  I’m just a person, like everyone else…just trying to live my life in a manner that represents my faith and my family.  I encourage all of us to be less judgmental and seek to find our similarities and celebrate them.  May God’s blessing be abundant to you this very day and moment.

Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. (NLT) ( Romans 15:7 )

Everyone is walking around seeking to be accepted and when it is found, that’s where influence makes a real impact on their lives. Skin color, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, intelligence, political beliefs, financial status, are often reasons why we refuse to reach out. Remember this, acceptance is not synonymous with approval, but we are called to love everyone. Does Jesus accept you even though you do things He doesn’t approve of? Absolutely!!! So why would we expect others to change before we can accept them?

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~Blessings and Peace~

Below is something I wrote over two years ago and reading it again today brings a rush of emotions.  I was searching for answers to fix what I thought was broken, God has provided answers and insights for me.  I felt very broken almost useless thinking that my gift of helping others was more of a curse.  I have discovered that God loves me and I should love myself, I was so consumed with loving others and helping others I completely ignored myself.  I have spent the past year exploring who I am, where I want to be, where God needs me to be and identifying my life priorities.  If you have been following my blog you would already know this piece of information, about a year ago I decided I no longer needed a TV in my home.  I found it to be a distraction and less of entertainment or relaxation.  I set a goal last year to read at least one book a month, I’m happy to say I read (13) books last year.  I also started this blog after lots of encouragement from some very dear friends…you know who you are, I am so very glad I took your advice!  The single most important aspect in my life over the past two years is my improved spiritual life, understanding and learning my purpose, learning that God created me for His glory.  I have found a church family where I know I am loved and cared for…just for being me, no strings attached.  I have formed new friendships and even renewed an old one. I am learning about my spiritual gifts as well as healthy boundaries so I can share my gifts with a joyful heart.  Some of the things we must do in life are not always pleasant or easy, those were not the promises of God, God promised to never leave us, we are never alone!  There’s still so much to learn, as I continue my trust in God, I pray for patience, knowledge and thanksgiving!  If you are struggling, turn to God, He’s always just a thought or prayer away.  Find support in family, friends or a local church…blessings to you, know that you are precious and you were created with purpose by God Almighty! Amen.

Feeling
How can I “fix” always feeling like I need acceptance and approval from others? Realistically, I know others cannot achieve my expectations…I can’t achieve them. I rely on people when I should rely on God. I look around and I see chaos, selfishness, modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah! I see wasteful spending, wasted resources, charity for selfish gains. Sometimes I feel trapped in a time-warp continuum (the generation of hard work and appreciation for what I have & the generation of “entitlement”. I guess I cannot say for sure that most of America is ungrateful or unappreciative but in my corner of the world, most individuals today could not endure the hardships that our forefathers knowingly and courageously took upon themselves. I truly and whole-heartedly believe God loves all of us and not a single person on this earth is worthy of His love, but in spite of ourselves God still loves us and wants the very best for all of us. I guess looking at things in such a board view is overwhelming and seems to difficult, I need to remind myself it only takes one individual to begin anew, one kind act followed by another, the domino effect if you will. Faith no matter the size can change me, faith to accept and understand myself. I need to stop cluttering my life with things and hesitations, seek to find peace within. I shield myself from learning about myself, perhaps I won’t like what I might learn…I have traits I like about myself, but I believe I get scared of seeing where and what molded me to be the person I am today. Getting to the very edge of answers and I’m spooked and recoil back into myself, a protective shield that surrounds my very being.

C.A.Robinson
September 12, 2011
3:19pm

~Blessings and Peace~

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV) “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

I have this one thing that I like doing, helping others.  I can do this because I have been blessed by God and I have learned some very valuable lessons in life the hard way!  God never abandoned me, although I often kept Him at a distance.  I was reading my devotional earlier and it was entitled, “Your Worries.”  It spoke about pride being a dangerous attribute because it holds us back from reaching out for help and admitting we need God.  He loves us and wants the best for us but He wants us to invite Him in by sharing what’s on our minds. The devotional ask if we are having a hard time finding work, feeling the burden of caregiving for a loved one, or walking through a rough patch with your spouse? God wants each of us to put aside our pride and come to Him in prayer.

My pride is keeping me from asking for help, but I am going to put my pride aside because what I need is only available by God.  Just as He has blessed me with gifts for others, He wants to help me.  It’s hard for helpers to ask for things, at least it is for me.  I feel like I have failed somewhere when I am unable to give more when my gift bucket is empty.  Oh God, my Redeemer I am in need of understanding, of discernment for your will, not mine.  Forgive me for being prideful and demanding I could do this all alone.  The obstacles before me are too overwhelming and I am very afraid, help me to find the quite still peace I need to hear your words of wisdom, so I can learn from you.  All my gifts are from you, teach me your truths and that your name will be praised not mine, you above all are my God!  My prayer is also that you receive a special blessing from God today!

~Blessings and Peace~

Reference:

Download this app to get your daily devotions: http://jctrois.com

Before you read the second sentence you will have probably already formed an idea of what I am going to say…

I hope you are surprised with the content and perhaps will be open to possibilities.

Instinctively, the topic deals with material things, objects of value whether monetarily or personally.  My hope for the future is one of mutual value, namely life is valuable No matter your place in an arbitrary social placement.  If I own a house, I’m socially higher than someone who rents?  Or perhaps having a job working M-F 8-5, as opposed to someone working every weekend and during night-time hours is less in some way.  An analogy that I have seen in action,  is the more money someone makes the less responsibilities and work they perform, seriously no one other than me thinks this is odd?  If it weren’t for the middle class nothing would ever get accomplished!  Those of us who represent the middle class (my opinion) are what keeps the United States moving forward. It’s certainly not our politicians, sure it appears that they make things happen, it is only a rouse….behind every successful “Have’s” there’s a ” Have Not” standing in his shadow.  The gaps between the social/economic groups continue to widen, the poor are further away from the rich/high, as they like to be called.  The higher class, oh they love to give their money if it brings 15 minutes of fame and they continue to ride the fame train as long as it is beneficial, when it no longer is able to feed their ego they move on to some other project.

Let me stop sounding bitter, that is not my intent.  I’m discovering that the phrase “The Have’s and Have Not’s”should be deflated and its mysterious powers stripped.

I am not rich in terms of finances and do not consider myself a “Have Not.”  I am rich beyond measure when it comes to family and friends, I have reliable transportation, healthy food to eat, shelter from the elements, safe drinking water and a job which not only supports me but several others in need.  My place in society’s hierarchy of social standards may seem low based upon the opinion of people in power but the only standards I aspire are those of my Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen!

I am sure others have experienced some of the same thoughts and emotions I have in my life…wishing to win the lottery, saying I would be more sensible than others who won and squandered their winnings, right! If I got a job making more money, if I were friends with so and so, then things would change and be better…the old saying, the grass is greener on the other side!  I am not going to lie, I had all those thoughts and more and I have discovered one very important thing, without God, nothing can truly fill you with completeness.  It is possibly that things and money can bring happiness but it quickly dies and you are right back where you started.  I have dreamed the dreams of (my) being of happy but they are not real and they are filled with an emptiness.  True happiness is not meant for our dreams, God wants us to experience the joys of happiness in living.  God’s desire is to shower us with blessings beyond our dreams and imagination, all we must do is live by the rules He gave us thousands of years ago, God created us , He loves us and has promised to never leave us!!  I know this is true as evidenced by my life, God is alive and working miracles and giving blessing beyond measure to me and I am in awe of His Greatness!  God loves all, no matter  your social standing, your wealth, your nationality, your sexual orientation, your political party, your race…He cares and loves “YOU!”

A closing personal note, the more I give to God, the more I get and the happier and more complete I am!  If you do not know God personally, simply ask Him into your life, acknowledge that you are a sinner and you believe in the saving grace given only by God.  He will save you and you will be His child, forever and ever. Amen.

~Blessings and Peace~

After a December break, Esther’s Circle met to fellowship with one another and discuss the next two chapters of Bob Goff’s book, “Love Does.”  It was an evening filled with lots of laughter, catching up, sharing stories and of course delicious desserts. Our group has been reading this book for what seems like forever, it is entertaining at times, unbelievable at times and filled with stories about the great depths of love. Chapter 15, entitled “A Word Not to Use” sounds intriguing…huh, not so much, the mystery word is “that.” No cuss words, no play on abbreviations…just not to use “that.” Thank goodness the story does not end there; the idea I received was use more words for describing the same thing, use a thesaurus!

The study questions for Chapter 15 are:       *Answers are only a reflection of this writer*

1. What are some examples of Christian “spin” you’ve encountered?

Churches imposing rules to attend services; Christians should be more conservative and less liberal; Members have presupposed levels of morality and socially acceptable behaviors.

-What could be the antidote?

Being authentic; God is concerned with our hearts and souls

2.  How do you think the church may have gotten to the point where it sometimes “presents God’s plan like a prospectus promising a return on investment.

-What’s the real need?

In many ways the Christian life is an investment, we are here on earth spreading the good news of Jesus Christ and are reward is Heaven.

3.  Pinpoint a couple of words in your faith language that are in danger of losing their power?

Acceptance and Love

-What are some alternatives? (Thesauruses encouraged.)

Acceptance (Credence) = adoption/accepting a changing world

Love (Beloved) = endearment

From a personal point of view I see many people using the word love often, I use it a lot and my fear is that it could lose its meaning over time. 

4.  Discuss the line between making an effort to keep things fresh and authentic and selling ourselves out to appear cool or desirable.

-What is our responsibility and what isn’t?

Each person needs to present themselves as authentic, be confident I in who we are and to whom we belong.  Being honest with ourselves equates to being honest with others.

5.  Bob says God “doesn’t spell out everything for us in life, but He does tell us how we can write our lives better; and trusting Him implicitly is always the right place to start.” In what ways might God be asking you to trust Him?

I know that God is preparing me for big changes in my life; I am learning to be open to His Will in my life especially as it relates to my finances, my emotions and my broken-ness. 

The study questions for Chapter 16 are:

1.  Regardless of your feelings on guns, what personal lessons can we learn from these two pieces of shooting advice?

-“You need to look through the scope at the things that are far away, but you also need to take your eye away long enough to see what’s close.”

-“It’s all about how you pull the trigger…If you pull hard, it will jerk the gun off target. So you need to pull the trigger super slow.”

Make sure you see the “Big” picture; never jump in before knowing the risks.

Having Goals are important but remember “baby” steps, formulate objectives in order to meet the Goals. Knowledge is power, living practical and within limits can provide security and peace.

2.  What is Bob’s issue with the definition of sin as “missing the mark?” How do you feel about it?

For me, we all “miss” the mark because we are all sinful; try as we may we cannot be perfect.  We are imperfect humans living in an imperfect world.  The power of forgiveness is sometimes difficult for us to accept and receive; our pride-fullness is what keeps us from the richness of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  God does not require perfection; He requires your sincere belief and acknowledgment that He is God the Father, the Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit all three and one at the same time.

3.  What’s the best approach to take when we see people messing up?

Never place yourself in a superior place over another, meet people where they are, at their level, do not look down on anyone and do not be judgmental.  Jesus came to teach and serve others, His love and grace is sufficient for everyone.

4.  What about when we mess up?

My first instinct is to hide, I am fearful of reprisal and I am very judgmental of my own actions, more than the actions of others.

I want to try to bring all this information into a single point, if possible.  The one thing about this book that I adore is the conversations involving “love.”  What I take away from these two chapters is that if I choose love in all areas of my life, life does not seem so overwhelming.  Being authentic, treating others with compassion and seeing the “big” picture can be very powerful tools in living a life, a Christian life I can all be proud, not to shed light on me but on my Savior and Redeemer, I have life only because He created me and gave me purpose, God has wonderful plans for you…Trust in Him today! 

~Blessings and Peace~

As I was reading my devotional today, the scripture reading was Matthew 5 “The Beatitudes” verse 9 stood out to me, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be call the sons of God.”  I want to share the contents with you, “We cannot make peace in the way Jesus did—but we can be like Him.  Pray about situations where there is discord—in your family, in church, at work. Pray that you would be merciful, pure in heart, and self-sacrificial, to be a peacemaker in these areas.”  I am a person that likes “peace” I find myself wishing that people could find common ground and build upon things we agree on and stop looking for the negative side of things.  I have learned that life is a sequence of “give and take” its the only way to find balance.  I like to run and hide from conflict and drama, it brings out behaviors and actions I am not proud of, unfortunately life has conflict and lots of drama.  I guess in all reality conflict can be productive and maybe even healthy in that it can bring about much-needed conversation plus brings people together to network and brainstorm.  I aspire to be the positive component for conflict and drama! Somewhere along my life journey and experiences I formed a picture of conflict and drama as a negative event and I continue to struggle with this on a regular basis.  I know that because of this preconceived notion that it is all negative I’ve missed our on opportunities for personal growth.  The beauty of life and being a child of God is we can be in a steady stage of growth all the time.  I am so thankful that God has never stopped loving me, always hears my prayers and blesses me beyond measure on a daily basis.  I am going to challenge myself to be open to possibilities, listen for God’s still voice, pray for understanding and to be a peacemaker in this world filled with conflict and drama.

~Blessings and Peace~

Do you ever find yourself saying, “enough is enough!”?  I reached that level of frustration and exhaustion this past week.  Why I allowed myself to get to a very close point of no return?  Lots of reason and none of them are even really bad, I can say that with much confidence because giving, doing and helping are all great things they only become something less when we fail to recognize signs or rather ignore signs telling us to step back and take in the bigger picture on display.  This is all tied into my “Decision” this past week.  I had a moment of epiphany…helping is not helping if it hurts the giver and the receiver?!?  I found myself giving and helping but joy was missing from it, if there’s no joy in these things, it is no longer a gift but a self-imposed obligations and frustrations quickly arise.  I know exactly what needs to happen and where the end point of this journey will lead me; however, how I get from point A to point B, I haven’t a clue.  I find that I’m spending time “spinning my wheels” metaphorically speaking.  The actions I need to take are going to hurt me and a person I truly do not want to cause difficulties for.  I have been praying about this situation and asking for guidance, God has blessed me with so much, I want to do God’s will and share His love with others.  A lessons I am learning is sharing the love of God can be accomplished in so many ways.  May God’s blessing be abundant today!

~Blessings and Peace~

I have spent the majority of my day crunching numbers, making excel spreadsheets and reviewing calendars, I said that today was a decision day and I should have mentioned an exhausting day.  There’s only one direction to proceed, that would be forward.  Much like the TV series (Star Trek) which I enjoy, I am bolding going where no one has gone before.  Although, it took me nearly half of my adult life to learn to be fiscally and financially aware, and dare I say responsible!  I am determined to see this process through, I know it will be emotional for me but more importantly, it will be freeing.  I have long wanted to be like my family and I am in so many ways, the core values my family and it’s generation after generation have remained solid and strong.  I am realizing that I do not need to be a carbon copy to express and share the love and respect that my parents and grandparents, great-grandparents…did on a daily basis, it was nothing but simply living and treating others as they wished to be treated.  I was so very blessed to have been able to know my grandparents and great-grandparents, it is a rarity today.  I admired my mom and grandmothers, family was everyone you knew!  My mom has been gone for nearly 2 years, immediately after I jumped into my mom’s role and as much as I want to be respectful of her wishes and a desire to fulfill her dreams, I cannot fill her shoes.  She does not need anyone to take her place, she is irreplaceable…I can’t be mom to me, be a mom to my brother and I cannot fill the void in my dad’s world.  I like to think that she is watching over me and sprinkling her courage and strength upon my shoulders.  I have this memory of myself in a blue dress, long light-brown hair blowing in the breeze and my arms out-stretched reaching for my mom and calling out to her…I certainly could use a mommy hug right now.  I will forever be her little girl.  So, I am lifting the cloak I’ve been under and stepping out of my mom’s shoes and back into my own.  I think she would be happy with that decision.  This journey is not going to be easy, this I know.  I will be facing truths and realities that I have kept at a distance from my heart because I thought that’s what I needed to do in order to help everyone around me to adjust to life without mom.  There can be no replacement for my mom, I haven’t even considered that because God has placed so many wonderful people in my life to help prepare me for this journey, I am so very blessed.  I get hugs that are very close to “mom hugs” and I am ever so grateful for the love I receive from all my friends and family.

Ephesians 6:1-3 (NIV) “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—  “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Today is the day I choose and decisions made will impact my life in unknown ways.  I could say I’m scared, nervous, and fearful…individually or all together makes no different, my life will be forever changed. Each day whether or not we recognize it, we made decisions that alter the paths our lives take.  It is truly amazing the things we do without giving any thought to…my best example for myself is awareness of my surroundings, I do visual checks as if it’s just part of being human, but it’s not…we all have specific and special skills we perform with little or no preparation on a daily basis.  I know the journey that is set before me is not going to be easy or smooth, I anticipate that this year will be a period of refining.  I have an important task that needs considerable attention that will require me to do things I am not at all comfortable doing.  I am going to face obstacles that I have avoided for a very long time, I cannot move forward until I can release the darkness that holds me captive.  My heart and mind are in “fight or flight” mode and I want to flee, run away but I’m tired.  As long as I allow this darkness to remain I cannot be the woman (daughter, sister, aunt, cousin or friend) I was created to be.

Psalms 23: 4 “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”

~Blessings and Peace~