As I was reading my devotional today, I read about David, Goliath and the Children of Israel.  The following is copied from that devotional and I will provide references at the end.  “One of the big messages of the Old Testament’s history books for us is this: DON’T DO AN ISRAEL . Don’t try to survive using your own methods. Trust in God—and what He tells you—and discover just how big He is…” After reading that I was immediately humbled because I’m guilty of “doing an Israel!”  I have been anxiously struggling with an area in my personal life that requires attention, I have recognized the need and urgency, to make serious changes, I’ve prayerfully made my petitions and sought out advice…everything except total surrender to God, I guess maybe it’s pride and even a dose of shame no matter which it may be, I am feeling like I’m in the spotlight.  Everything feels like I’m falling apart, things are twirling around as if my insides are caught up in a tornado.  I have spent the past two years trying to fill someone else’s shoes, trying to extend another’s journey, keeping someone alive through mimicking actions and gestures, day by day I am failing miserably…how can I face these realities?  I’m scared to start the “conversation” and scared of what may come if I don’t start the “conversation!”  I know I am being very vague about this issue and not with just you the reader, I am constantly vague with everyone about this topic but I’m sure I am not alone, maybe by me being open and honest about my situation it will help you to be brave and trust God as I am trying to do.  My mother passed away in June 2012, I continue to miss her everyday.  My father and brother are also still grieving and that weighs heavy on my heart.  My mom was the “rock” of our family, she was one of the strongest women I’ve ever known, second only to my grandmother/my mom’s mom!  I come from a generation of strong women with high family values.  My mom was a financial guru, people have said that she could squeeze poop from a buffalo nickel! Growing up our family was not considered rich, more lower to middle class but my parents made my brother and me feel like we were not missing out on anything. I never went to bed hungry, always had clothing and shoes and if something was needed, mom simply found a way to get it.  After mom passed away, I slid into the role my mother had within my family, gladly I took over doing many things she had been doing and I have no, absolutely no regrets, it is just becoming too overwhelming and try as I may, I can’t squeeze like mom.  I feel shame that I can’t provide as mom once did, I give with a glad heart and with much love, it’s just not enough.  Sometimes I feel broken, I know God is with me and that His plans are better than mine and I need to relinquish the driver’s seat to Him, I need to learn and lean upon God’s promises.  I can’t really give you an ending to this story, not yet anyway.  Your prayers would be appreciated and as I continue my journey, I hope and pray you receive a blessing and possibly even encouragement in your spiritual journey simply by reading this entry, may God abundantly bless you today in all you require.  All that I am and All that I have are gifts from my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

~Blessing and Peace~

Reference: Explore Bible Devotional app for iPhone

HISTORY:

Trust in the Lord

Reading: 1 Samuel 17

There’s only one way to survive as a Christian: trust in God! And, surrounded as they were by aggressive and powerful nations, there was only one way for God’s people, Israel, to survive in the promised land God had given them.

The history section of the OT is pretty much a dismal record of how God’s people didn’t trust their Lord. It covers 1,100 years up to 400 BC, including a period in which Israel were kicked out of the land for persistently refusing to go God‘s way.

But the flip side is that it is also an amazing record of God’s patient plans with people who fail big time. And of God’s amazing willingness to use weak people who do trust their God.