My Friends, James 3 has been a passage of scripture that has been heavy upon my heart for the past few days and I wanted to share my thoughts with you.  In chapter 3, James is addressing “Taming the Tongue,” the can tongue can heal as well as destroy, being smooth, sharp and quicker than a double-edged sword.  Our words are so powerful and we often do not realize the strength they contain.  I have been and continue to use words that hurt people in my life I truly love and cherish; however this also means those individuals I struggle with are often treated worse.  I have noticed that especially during times of distress, disappointments and personal critiques (viewed as attacks by me) that my defense is retaliation, I am NOT advocating this!  Daily, we must fight to control our words/tongue.  I like the New International Version of James 3:3-6; the writer describes the mighty power of something so very small in comparison to the whole body that can cause such havoc upon others. 

 “When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” 

I was reminded of the complexity of our words during worship this past Sunday, although the sermon scripture used was Luke 15, and entitled “Lost and Found,” God was still speaking to me in reference to James 3.  The Pastor challenged the congregation to “Rejoice!”  Rejoice when sinners are saved; rejoice when someone lost returns and to find the person(s) in our lives that it is difficult to love then find a way to love them, perhaps in spite of not liking them and rejoice!  Praising God for His steadfast unconditional of love He has for everyone.  The message I received from that challenge was very clear, I need to find a way to interact with the people in my life that present difficulties for me, find a way to love them even though they are at times very difficult to like.  God commands us to love one another, not necessarily like everyone.  I say this not out of malice but out of truth, not everyone likes everybody…but isn’t that’s what makes us so very unique and individual.  Each of us was created by God, in the image of God, to glorify God and each with a specific purpose.  Praise be to God!  

 This photo was used during communion and I loved it and wanted to share it with you.

www.artbyshalisha.com/gallery.php

 

Closing Thoughts:

Emotional Stimulus for the Today’s Economy

As we all look to the future it can be easy to fall into a sea of depravity, staying positive with constant negativity circling us can be a difficult task even for the most positive of individuals.  I have found the following insights to be very therapeutic during these turbulent times.  I hope that you can utilize at least one of the following to lighten your outlook.      

~Peace, Charlotte March 6, 2009 @ 3:08am

 F    R    E    E

Focus, Refresh, Everyone, Everyday!

 Free Things to be the Best you can be:

Time – spending it with family, friends, partners and lovers.

Reading – books, magazines, anything

Dancing – public or at home

Smiling – spread freely

Hugs – spread freely

Planning – Visionary, dreamer

Talking – sharing with others

Listening – to others

Praying – thankfulness for blessing

Singing – public or at home

Volunteerism – anywhere

Library cards – only need a form of ID

Church – of your choosing

Church activities – classes, discussions, events, festivals

Contrasts that Provide a Path to Appreciation:

Worthless to worthiness                    Rain to sun

Cold to hot                                            Winter to summer

Love to loss                                           A little to abundance

Failure to success                                Poor to rich

Old/aged/new                                      Dim/tarnished/bright

Night to-day                                          Sorrow to joy

True value is determined only by the depth of its loss.

Diamonds must be cut for their true beauty to be revealed.

Gold’s beauty and brilliance visible only after great heat and pressure.

References:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+3&version=NIV

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+15&version=NIV

http://www.bookofjames.info/3.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_the_Just

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=abstract+painting+of+the+last+supper&id=12C493306A38935A821158566F16722D541594A7&FORM=IQFRBA#a

Friends and followers, I want to clarify what I said in my blog about self-esteem.  My description of “high” and “low” self- esteem in people can come across as egotistical or pathetic; however, it really is not quite that simple.  People do not always exhibit these extremes for the same reasons, someone that presents themselves in an egotistical manner might utilize this to cover up personal insecurities and does not even realize the manner in which they interact with others. The same can also be true for individuals with low self-esteem issues. I do apologize for any confusions or judgments I irresponsibily cast. We are all uniquely created by the Great creator of all things, God the Father! Remember we all have needs, wants, wishes and desires…lets interact and communicate with one another with peace, hope and love. 

Peace & Blessings~

Today, I have decided to share something very personal to me and about me concerning self-esteem.  My hope is that others reading might benefit from what I share or know someone who could benefit.   I personally suffer from depression and much like an addiction; it’s a daily regimen of recognizing and facing it.  I have dealt with depression all of my adult life, usually I can recognize the precursors happening and prepare myself to appropriately deal with when situations present themselves but there are still times I am taken by surprise.  Along with my depression comes periodic bouts of low self-esteem, making me question my worth and my value.  I struggle with listening to my positive inner voice at times, not accepting myself or assuring myself that I am a good person and I matter.  When this happens I seek out things and people to valid my personhood and my value, this is not a healthy choice but sometimes I feel like I have no control over it, it consumes my thoughts and I just react.  I have found that having strong and healthy relationships help tremendously.  By far, the best thing I have done to help myself understand my depression is to see a licensed therapist and renew my relationship with God.  God has always been a huge part of who I am I just got to a point of being lazy at being a Christian.  Finding a church and congregation that feeds me spiritually on a weekly basis has been amazing!  Now, with that being said, we all know people who are the extremes of “high” self-esteem and those with “low” self-esteem; the “high’s” are often referred to as “Egotistical” and the “low’s” as “Pathetic” this meaning that most people fall into the middle somewhere.   These extremes are a huge deal for the individuals that suffer from LSE (Low Self-Esteem); they have a constant need to be reassured that they are lovable.  Everyone has a basic need of believing that they are lovable and that they are loved.  Individuals that suffer from LSE are anxiously unsure of themselves and likely even question if they are lovable. One of the main ways people try to find an answer to this question is to look to others, hyper-vigilantly watching the others’ behaviors, listening to their words and tone of voice, mentally recording the ways that person acts toward them, even keeping score of what they think works and doesn’t work.   Desperately seeking reassurance that they are lovable, those with low self-esteem look outside themselves and at the behavior of those closest to them, to find answers to the question of being lovable. Then, if the person who professes to love them/care for them, does not act in ways that they think would indicate this, LSE sufferers either:   

• Tries harder to please in order to win love and attention.
• Become angry when they feel something is being withheld from them they need/want.
• Feel they must be deserving of this treatment (or perceived treatment) and conclude that they are indeed, unlovable.

Finding this explanation unbearable to fully conclude, however, they continue to vacillate between depression and anger toward themselves or the person from whom they want affirmation.  Unfortunately, much of the disappointment LSE sufferers have toward the significant other/friend is the result of their own insecurities and their neediness that demands constant reinforcement, their unreasonable expectations, their irrational storytelling, and an inability to look at their own issues. On the other hand, all too often those with LSE choose partners/friends who are similar to the people who created their low self-esteem—possibly their parents—who may have withheld love and affection, had low self-esteem themselves, or in other ways did not meet their needs as children. Such partners/friends are unable to give of themselves in ways that are warm, nurturing, and loving as they also feel depleted or feel such nurturing is unnecessary. Overtime as people go through the recovery process, they come to believe in their own assessment of themselves rather than “needing” to seek the appraisal of others.

Tips to Increase Your Self-Esteem

• Act as if you were confident! You will feel more confident.
• Focus on who you are and what you like about yourself. Why do your friends like you?
• Prepare thoroughly for any task so that you can be sure you are ready. Knowing that you have prepared well will make you better able to cope with anything that may come up.
• Work on any skills you need to do what you want, you can never be over trained or over skilled for any challenge in life.
• When you come to challenging and difficult moments relaxing will enable you to control your negative emotions and project more positive ones. Breathing is one aspect of this that is so important because controlling your breathing controls your body’s reactions to what’s going on around you.  *See relaxation exercises below.
• Always smile and stand up straight. Your posture and smile will project confidence and you will feel better able to cope with anything. You will also find that others respond to you better and this will give you an added boost.
• Set reachable goals for yourself and break difficult tasks into smaller steps. You will be able to believe that you can achieve your larger goals if you can see the clear steps towards it and know that you can be successful by taking these smaller steps.
• Reward yourself when you succeed no matter how small the achievement. Remind yourself that you are moving forward with determination and that you are one step closer to achieving your goal.
• Do not be too competitive or compare yourself with others. Be yourself and accept that life is not a race against others but your self-esteem depends on you and your personal needs. Set your own standards and allow yourself to overcome challenges at your own pace.

Relaxation Exercises

• Control your breathing – you should breathe from the stomach not from the chest. Using on your breathing helps you to relax and stop the body’s panic reaction.
• Relax your muscles – start with your face muscles and then neck, shoulders, back, arm, chest, buttocks, leg muscles and tell each muscle to relax one by one. When you have relaxed your muscles you are sending a message to your brain to stop any panic reaction that your body produces. This will calm you down and help you to think more clearly.
• Relax mentally – when you breathe in think calm and when you breathe out think release negative thoughts. You may also hold a positive and inspiring image in your mind to further help you relax.

What Does the Bible say about Self-Esteem

Song of Solomon 4:7 ESV “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.”

Psalm 139:13-14 ESV “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

1 Samuel 16:7 ESV “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”

In closing, I would like to say that God has blessed me beyond measure with loving and caring friends and family, they love me when I feel unlovable.  And, although my friends occasionally call me out when I am too needy or too insecure; I know that it is only because they love me.  I am reminded that I alone control my feelings, if I feel sad or low it is a result of my choosing…I don’t like hearing the truth at times, but it is the truth.  I need to respect and accept the answers or lack of answers I receive when asking questions.  I pray that this information has been helpful.

Blessings & Peace~   

Sites & material used:

http://www.getesteem.com/lse-symptoms/behavioral.html

http://www.more-selfesteem.com/relaxation_technique.htm

http://www.openbible.info/topics/self-esteem

Yesterday, I chose to do something I’ve been talking about doing for quite some time, always trying to plan and make time…the best laid out plan is an executed plan. I said to myself, “why not today?” The only thing stopping me, was me! No great planned out trip, I just fueled the car grabbed food and drink for a 2 hour drive…it was so freeing! I visited a friend and showed up unannounced and bringing gifts! I’m not sure who was more excited my friends or me. My college friends will not be surprised at this, I used to get in my car and drive to a destination just to surprise them with a visit! Today, I captured that feeling again, it was amazing! That feeling of freedom and the only thing holding me back, was myself. I recently read a wonderful book by Jeff Goins, “The In-Between,” a marvelous book, [thanks Margaret]. Today, was an in-between moment for me, I had been so bogged down with the planning of a 2 hour drive and the details of finding the right time and right date…I would have missed being in the moment of seeing my friends, taking in the beauty of the countryside and watching people rushing to and from their destinations, if I had continued to postpone my visit due to “planning!” I know from my experiences that sometimes the hype of planning things and only seeing the beginning and the end, I miss the best part of all…the happenings in the in-between. I used to describe this as wasted time, thinking of getting from one point to another as more important, not giving thought to the journey itself. I was completely aware of the journey but thought the best part was at the end, I was so completely wrong. I am not much of a risk taker and perhaps I thought by planning everything there would be less chance of anything being left for “risk” to ruin it. Life is a journey to be savoured, taking in all the moments, the full gamut of feelings and emotions. I would highly recommend Jeff Goins book and challenge you to empower yourself to experience the in-between moments in your life, I am certain you will be pleasantly surprised. [It was awesome to see you Mary & Mark and all my fellow co-workers at FWA!].

 

You can also follow Jeff Goins on twitter Jeff Goins@JeffGoins

Or follow his blog at: http://goinswriter.com/

http://goinswriter.com/inbetween/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kohp0qCM9Jo  great video

Instead of living life wishing you could jump ahead to the next adventure, these pages will inspire you to slow down and savor the in-between.
—Crystal Paine, founder of MoneySavingMom.com 

If you find yourself in the quiet valley of waiting, Jeff Goins offers a kind voice in the silence. This gently honest book challenged me to surrender to the waiting moments rather than try to rush ahead to the next thing — a simply lovely read.
—Emily P. Freeman, author of A Million Little Ways and Grace for the Good Girl

 

 

As I was driving to church this past Sunday the popular acronym “WWJD” came to me, it made me think very seriously at, what would Jesus do in situations that occur daily for each of us? Now I realize we all encounter different things and are inclined to be in conversations that may be radically different for one another so, I am going to use my own personal experiences to explore WWJD. I have attended a few different denomination churches in my life; spanning from Community non-denominational, Baptist, Methodist, and Lutheran. To be honest, my experiences had more to do the people of the congregations rather than the denomination and its particular traditions, sacred histories or symbols. My foundational belief is I believe in the Trinity, God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son and the Holy Spirit. I was created by God, I have salvation because of the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ’s through His life, death and resurrection and daily I am encouraged and directed by the Holy Spirit. In the past, I was drawn to churches for a variety of things such as times of services (crazy work schedules), the Pastors, classes/workshops and the congregation. As, I look back and ponder on these things, I am reminded how very happy I have found a church that truly feeds me, teaches me, supports me and loves me unconditionally. God knew my plan all along; it just took me a bit longer to find my path to free-ness and happiness. A church cannot and should not be the foundation of your faith, churches are merely buildings in which believers gather to share and praise God. My church serves communion weekly, this is an awesome experience and weekly I can refresh my spirit, recommit myself to God, and restore my soul. Church services offer a time for community and conversations, coffee and juice to feed nutritionally and scripture, message, singing and prayers feed the soul to overflowing. It’s a chance to engage with others as we work towards a common goal to spread the love of Jesus with one another but more overly our world. So, the question is WWJD…over and over throughout the Bible, Jesus meets with people, the common usually ignored people, He respected people and He loved people. He was sincere and preached to people in a manner that was simple to understand, not like the Teachers of the Law at that time. Jesus did not put on public displays all His power and authority for mere recognition, He healed and saved people whose faith allowed healing to take place. When Jesus prayed, He did not do so openly for all to see, He spoke with His Father in a quiet and private personal manner. God does not want His children to display themselves in a proud and gaudy way of worshipping Him; this only brings recognition to self. God wants and desires a personal relationship with Him; He wants to bless us beyond our capabilities to comprehend. God’s invitation is for all people, no one is excluded, NONE…we are called to share the Good News to all, all are created in God’s image and to bring glory to God, He has a plan for each of us…I recently, attended a workshop “Pursuing Your Unique Purpose,” it was a great workshop and I was able to name and claim my spiritual gifts as well as find clarity to put them into action. Life is meant to grow, increase and even stretch (as I recently discovered at the ACC sermon on 09/08/2013…look for it soon on the website if you missed it http://www.avonchristian.org/ Sermon “Refreshment for the Soul”) WWJD…confronting self and others with grace and mercy, stretching yourself to grow, refine and refresh your soul. I am going to challenge myself when confronted with decisions and actions, WWJD…we are all human and sinners and honestly judgment comes into life every day, what if we just meet people where they are with no expectations, just loving them as Jesus would, not judging but with grace and mercy.
Peace and Blessing~

I have been away for a few days and it was difficult to write during that time for reasons that are difficult to explain but my thoughts are filled with things I want to share. I have just returned from visiting with family, family…that word itself can ignite memories or develop a spark for what the future may hold. It is used to describe relatives by birth, marriage or adoption; people joined together with a common bond; and someone’s lineage. For me, family is the people in my heart! As I was driving home today from a long weekend with my father, brother, aunt and cousins I was awe-struck with an overwhelming feeling on blessedness. I have been fortunate to have known my great-grandparents; grandparents; aunts and uncles; cousins (1st, 2nd and 3rd generation)…but even more than my blood relatives God has blessed me with friends from high school; college and jobs, each are every bit my family as well. And, more amazingly God continues to place people in my life that are more than just friends, I love them as family. I guess I’ve known this extraordinary feeling of love for a very long time without truly recognizing its depth or reciprocal value until I had faced some very sad and painful events in my life. The one single thing that has remained in my life through all the good and the painful things that I have experienced and sadly I failed to see it on a regular basis and that is the everlasting, unconditional love of God. God has never left me, though I often leave Him out of my life. It’s sometimes easy to remember say thank you to God when life is good, but even then we think “look what I did!” and leave God completely out. But, we are quick to think of God when things go bad! I can’t lie; I have been guilty of the later more times than I care to say. We never want to take responsibility for the bad choices we make, it’s somehow God’s fault, and the good things that happen to us…Look what I did! God is never mentioned. I have come to this conclusion after rediscovering the most profound thing, I belong to God! Without God I would not be here, I would not have even been born. All that I am, all that I have is a gift from God. I am a sinner, I was born a sinner and only by the grace of God and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ am I able to proclaim that I am a child of God, God is my family, He created me to bring glory to Him and He gave me a purpose, my life has a purpose. Daily, I struggle to be the person I was born to be, the struggle is my humanness and only by inviting God to be with us and in us through the work of the Holy Spirit on a daily basis can we truly be happy, the kind of happiness that fills you from the inside out. I am the woman I am because of God, because of the family I was given to…I have no regrets because if not for the experiences I have had, I would not be who I am now…through it all, a child of God. I could and have sometimes do compared myself to others, and think if I had only understood life and took it more serious years ago, I would not have wasted time and been doing God’s will and living out my purpose. There I go second guessing God; He precisely and purposely was in control the whole time. Thanks be to God! I feel as if my eyes have been opened, I am purposely starting and ending my day with conversations with God and invite Him on this journey through life. He’s always been there, and I think it makes God smile when I simply say, “Let’s go and meet the day together!” I do not understand all life’s experiences, but I know that God is with me, always. A very dear friend (thank you!) gave me Psalms 62 today and I pray it blesses you as it did me!
Peace & Blessings˜

Psalm 62
New International Version (NIV)

1 Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
2 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
3 How long will you assault me?
Would all of you throw me down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
4 Surely they intend to topple me
from my lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
9 Surely the lowborn are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie.
If weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.
10 Do not trust in extortion
or put vain hope in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.
11 One thing God has spoken,
two things I have heard:
“Power belongs to you, God,
12 and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”;
and, “You reward everyone
according to what they have done.”

a

 

But if you return to me and obey my commands and live by them, then even if you are exiled to the ends of the earth, I will bring you back to the place I have chosen for my name to be honored.” (NLT) ( Nehemiah 1:9 ) Even if you have done wrong, God will always forgive you, take you back and welcome you with open arms. Is there something shameful in your past you’ve been carrying around? God can turn your circumstances around and use them to bring honor and glory to His name. Take a step towards returning to God, spend a moment in your Bible reading about God. Download this app to get your daily devotions:http://jctrois.com

I am reminded of the darkness that covered my afternoon with negativity and dishonor, as I sit here typing letters to this page, forming words to describe the feelings I have pinned up in my head, my very soul is agitated, feelings are bouncing around in my head, is that supposed to happen? I’m angry but failing to understand why?  When this day started I was focused and driven, by mid-afternoon I became a woman possessed…loud, negative and condescending, it was as if I lost total control of who I am.  I did not recognize the person I became, a  stranger in my body acting absurd and foolish.  I believe I actual had a temper tantrum, seriously at my age.  Could this anger come from being afraid? I’ve  never been good at asking for help, always thinking someone will figure me out  and just know what to do for me.  Less accountability on myself…I’ve never  been a mom but my mom could tell by the sound of my voice or simply my actions  to know something was up…I miss my mom.  I try to get what I need from my  friends, but when they fail to recognize my needs, I implode like an old forgotten casino in Vegas, giving way to new neon lights…I melt like ice cream  in late July!  As if its someone else’s responsibility to magically know what I  need! Oh God, I’m broken and I need help, help me find my missing pieces.  Teach  me to ask for what I need, show me the difference between making a request and  begging & being burdensome, teach me how to accept the truth.  I stand in  shame of my actions, wishing I could take it all back but what is done, is done.   Such finality of it all! Oh God of mercy I am utterly ashamed of my words and actions and though I am not worthy of your forgiveness, I seek your mercy and  grace to be upon me as I close out this day and may I be reminded of your  steadfast and unconditional love for me and that I will see others through eyes  of mercy and grace even in my humanness, to God be the glory forever and ever!   Amen.

Psalms 92  http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2092&version=NKJV

Psalm 136  http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+136&version=NIV

My very being is restless tonight, my mind is rapidly trying to form some sense of order to the thoughts that are invading all corners of my soul. Have you ever wondered, seriously wondered why we have such a vast variety of everything. There always seems to be one thing or the other thing, right or left, front or back, first or last, right or wrong…I think you get my idea. Then to take that information further, why do we choose one over the other, often times its more than two things to choose from, but the bottom line is we all choose. One could argue, it’s been this way since the beginning of time, more narrowly in Christianity it is thought it started with Adam and Eve, they chose, not wisely but that’s not the issue in this conversation only the choice part. God created mankind to glorify God and created each individual person with a purpose. My belief is that in creating us as individuals, using our specific purposes we can support one another in building strong Christian communities that glorify God. I’m fearful that in our individualism we forget our creator and we begin to splinter off and decide to create our own purposes for our own glory forgetting God and that without God, nothingness is all that would exist. When we take God out of creation and boast about ourselves and what we can do, things can look pretty successful from our own point of view but soon our egos outgrow the space we occupy and sooner or later it all blows up and we are seen for the frauds that we truly are. As humans, we have all contributed to the messes we have in the world. God never intended for nations and countries to be constantly at war, never agreeing upon anything, always accusing…how quickly we forget why we are even here and alive, to glorify God and to live into the purpose of why we were created.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

My restlessness comes from disenchantment with believers with boundaries for loving. Love has no boundaries, it is a gift from God Most High, who are we to decide who can be loved and who cannot? Am I more lovable as a Republican or as a Democrat, man or woman, black or white, blue-collar worker or white-collar worker, American or Chinese, short or tall, rich or poor…the list goes on and on, the point I am trying to make is God never used anything to distinguish who is loved…ALL are loved, no one better or worse than another, we are all born sinful and the way to be changed is through the belief and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and that only through His life, death and resurrection we are made anew. Amen!

Jesus says in Matthew 5:43-48 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? .

What The World Needs Now Is Love, Sweet Love.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAo73QtDzdQ