Hello and Happy New Year 2016

 

I wanted to share something meaningfully with you as we usher in a new year. I was reading a devotional and the passage of scripture I read was from, 2 Corinthians 5:17, 19. What an awesome verse to start a new year…

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. Namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not reckoning to them their trespasses, and having committed to us the word of reconciliation.”

Then I came across a quote from one of my favorite authors…

C.S.Lewis…”Nothing is yet in its true form.”

As I reflect upon these words and as I attempt to greet 2016 with hope and a desire to do God’s Will, it’s comforting and reassuring to know that I am saved by GRACE alone! There is absolutely nothing I can do to be worthy of God’s love, nothing that any of us can do in order to be worthy of His love and forgiveness. Jesus, the Son of God came down from Heaven to be born so that we could be freed from chains of sin and to have a relationship with God, our Creator. For anyone who has the personality trait of being a “people pleaser” or an “over-achiever” accepting God’s “free” gift of salvation and the forgiveness of sin…there’s a feeling or an idea that there will be a “catch” something possibly written in the fine print and difficult to read. That is so not true! Salvation is truly a gift, no hidden agendas and no “gotcha’s” A dear friend of mine explains salvation as “having ones eyes opened!” It’s true, the moment you realize that God is real, you begin to see the world differently, more vividly and quite possibly more colorful and lively. There’s no prerequisite to be saved, simple ask God to come into your heart and ask for forgiveness and then place your trust in Him. I’m quite sure that your transformation “Coming to Jesus” may be vastly different than my experience but no less exciting and invigorating. Being a Christian and believing in God is both wonderful and challenging, God does not promise that we will be free of life’s difficulties. God does promise to never leave us or forget about us. As I look back at my life and my journey so far, it’s comforting to know that God has been with me through it all. Did l always give God the praise and glory, I will have to say NO. Just because I believe and trust God, I am not immune from hurt, heartache, loss, pride, jealousy…all the things that happen in life and all the feelings and emotions we experience are part of each one of us, it’s called “being human“/“our humanity.” The human condition, we are all born into sin, from the original sin in the Garden of Eden. I want to make something crystal clear…No person is without sin, except Jesus Christ. You may be thinking “I’m not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough, I’m too old, I’ve wasted too much time”…whatever the reasons, it doesn’t matter because God loves you, loves you wherever you are in the world and whatever you might be doing or not doing. God is concerned about your heart, your soul. Did you know that God knew you before you were ever conceived in your mother’s womb? It’s true, check these verse out…Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…” and Psalm 139:13 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” God loves you! Here’s another great thing as a Christian we are able to start each day with. renewed spirit through the unconditional love that God has for us. God doesn’t simply want to save you, He wants a relationship…He wants to hear and share in your successes and your losses, give comfort and encouragement. It’s never too late to turn to God! I cannot even begin to explain how much God loves and cares for “Everything in the universe!”
In Hebrews 11:3, it says, “By faith we understand that the universe has been created by a word from God so that the visible came into existence from the invisible.” and in Genesis 1:1 it says, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” Each and every day we can start our day by asking for God’s presence to be with us, to help us discern over our actions and words, to be mindful of who we are representing. Each night as we prepare for sleep, we can go to God with humble hearts, asking and seeking forgiveness and comfort and the ability to try and not repeat things we know are wrong and not pleasing to God. Find peace, rest and forgiveness. We do not have to carry the weight of the chains called sins around our necks, God’s forgiveness and grace has freed all who believe and truth in Jesus Christ.
It says in Romans 5:8 “But here is how God has shown his love for us. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

I want to wish everyone a very Happy New Year! May you it be filled with love, joy and laughter the whole year through. If you are saved and trust and believe in God and in His grace and mercy, I pray for you to dig deeper in God’s Word and share God everyday through your words and actions. If you are unsure of your salvation or have questions please feel free to contact me through my blog page.

“That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9) .

“The Prayer of Salvation”

God, I recognize that I have not lived my life for You up until now. I have been living for myself and that is wrong. I need You in my life; I want You in my life. I acknowledge the completed work of Your Son Jesus Christ in giving His life for me on the cross at Calvary, and I long to receive the forgiveness you have made freely available to me through this sacrifice. Come into my life now, Lord. Take up residence in my heart and be my king, my Lord, and my Savior. From this day forward, I will no longer be controlled by sin, or the desire to please myself, but I will follow You all the days of my life. Those days are in Your hands. I ask this in Jesus’ precious and holy name. Amen.”

~Loving, Growing, Learning…May the Peace of God surround you!

The Longest Night

 

I attended “The Longest Night” service on December 21st, 2015 and I loved it. I was able and willing to enter and sit in a church I had never been in before. I was met with a very friendly welcome! From the moment I walked into the church, the greeter somehow knew my name. To my surprise the lady that greeted me was familiar with my comments I had posted on the church’s FB page. I know that it was and is the Spirit of God working in and through me that lead me to their church.  The greeter gave me instructions to grab a stone from on the small table at the entrance to the sanctuary and as I made my way into the sanctuary I was immediately drawn to the comfort of the space. I quickly recognized a couple I had met about a month ago at a “Pub-ology” discussion group from this church.  They greeted me and remembered my name and I had a sense of peace and connectedness being in that that space.  The sanctuary was beautiful…the tree and its ornaments, to the gorgeous nativity.  I was able to experience peace and compassion while sharing the space with those who call that church “home.” The scripture that was shared and the selected readings to the songs we sang brought peace to my soul, it was a welcomed rest away from the business of the holiday and responsibilities of life. The stone I picked up almost immediately became an extension of my hand, my sensory response was to rub it, feeling and imagining the slight curves and imperfections of the stone, smooth on the edges and rough through the middle. Just as in life, we all experience those smooth surfaces and often feel the bumps that impede our progress. A large portion of the service was about loss…my thoughts quickly and easily were drawn to my mom. Though I miss her greatly, I have peace knowing she’s in Heaven. This brought great comfort to me. I participated in the candle lighting for lost loved one’s and lit a candle for my mom and my grandmother (my mom’s mom). And we shared in communion, remembering why we practice it and what it means to us. And near the closing of the service we were instructed to place our stones in a bowl of water, as if it we were shedding and leaving the sadness and heavy burdens we have placed upon ourselves into the bowl; although I understood the concept, I had grown rather attached to the stone, wanting to take it home and continue to connect my thoughts with the sensory affect it had upon me. I reluctantly released the stone into the bowl of water along with some grief I had chosen to carry around these past few years since my moms passing. I am perhaps making this sound somewhat easy but I do not want to mislead you, letting go is very hard to do. I believe God lead me to that very moment, surrendering to God what was never meant to be mine to carried.  Grief is a process and I used to think I wanted to let it go but felt like I had to hang onto it, to punish myself…that is so far from the truth! Grief does not have to be your enemy, don’t be too quick to push it aside and lie down with it and drown yourself in it; instead, learn to understand it, to process it and to peel back the layers at your choosing. Do not fear grief, I have found it to be filled with vital pieces of information I had stored away in my brain because my heart was not ready to feel. God will be with you every step of your grief journey. The benefits far outweigh the negatives of grief.  Now getting back to Christmas, it is so many things to so many people, it is a season of celebrating. It’s anticipation, it’s waiting, wanting, and hoping…I see and believe it’s ok to celebrate Christ’s birth as well as the idea of Santa Claus, St. Nick! The joy in a child’s eye as they get their first glimpse of gifts under the tree along with the empty glass of milk and the half eaten cookie left on the table all of which are positively priceless! The innocence and pureness of children always leaves me in awe!  Do you have memories of how excited you were as a kid on Christmas morning? I sure hope you do. But I want to go a bit further and ask you, at the moment you realized you needed Jesus…was that reminiscent of the feelings of wonder, hope and excitement you felt on Christmas morning? Jesus is the biggest and the best gift you will ever receive! I remember my “hour of decision” it was one of excitement, hope, and wonderment. My prayer this day and for this season of Advent is for you to feel the love of Jesus for yourself and the wonderment of the Season…Jesus and St.Nick!  Thanks again, First Christian Church of Mooresville, you have made a difference in my life.  ~Peace~

Me, Myself and I…

I had a wonderful day today. I had lunch with some of my friends from church, the JULIETS we are called, (Jolly Unique Ladies Informally Eating Together Somewhere)! We meet once a month at a restaurant and share in a meal and conversations with one another. The spirit of love and friendship seemed to hover over our table. We were surrounded by new friends, old friends, the memories of those who were unable to attend. I count myself very blessed to have the life I enjoy, I have friends who truly and honestly care about me and love me with kindness in an unconditional manner. I found myself thinking of my mother a lot today, even shedding a few tears here and there, she would have loved the group I spend time with throughout the year. I imagined my mom smiling and laughing, this song had been placed upon my heart weirdly because I don’t know if my mom had every heard it but listening to it several times tonight I sort of felt a connection with God and my mom. I imagined them looking down at me, my mom no longer being tired all the time from working too many long days and hours. She always had a reserve of energy she could tap into if I needed her or just wanted to see her. She always had time for her grandkids and for my brother, dad and any one of our relatives. My mom was a giver, a supporter, a bank, a grocery store…you name it and she would make things happen. I so wanted to fill those shoes she left behind, to be the daughter she dreamed of… However, as good of an idea as that was it was so not me. I have learned a few life lessons since my mother’s passing in 2012. She was an incredible woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, cousin…not a saint but definitely a jewel! One lesson I am learning to put into action is I was not created to be an exact replica of my mother, I am a mixture of all those family members and generations an eclectic beings with many parts thrown in. God created each of us uniquely different and with a purpose that is individually ours to grow into. Because I love my parents I wanted them to be proud of me, I respect their values and morals they instilled in me growing up. I was not a perfect child but not one single time did they ever turn away from me and was always my biggest cheerleader in any and all activity I ever participated in. I remember a few summers when I was not old enough to drive and I played on 2-3 different softball teams…my mom never missed a game. She drove me all over west and central Indiana. I miss her voice and her encouragement. So as I said I am learning that I can be and grow into who I was created to be and still represent and honor my parents with the unconditional love they gave me and the unconditional love I still receive from my dad, brother and the whole clan and generations I came from. The most valuable lesson I’ve learned since losing my mom has been “boundaries.” God has brought several confident and assured individuals into my life to show and teach me about boundaries, healthy boundaries. I wish it were possible to list each one here by name but they are very modest and I will respect their privacy, my hope is they can at least smile and know that they have made an impact upon my life in such dramatic ways. And, in addition, I have no doubt they would pass the kudos and congratulations to God, they were merely doing His Will. I have to be honest, another skill I’m honing in on, being honest is also about being true to yourself and allows you to be free to be who you are created to be within healthy boundaries. I enjoy gifting-giving of myself to others, a smile, a hello and a how are you…any of these gestures are free to give away every single day and I promise you, the gifts you receive back are priceless. Did you know that every single day people are walking around feeling invisible, thinking that life would not miss them if they were suddenly no longer around? I imagine you have at least one person in your life that you see on a regular basis that feels like that sometimes. In the midst of this rambling, I am trying to share another lesson I’ve learned and strangely it is related to “boundaries” let’s say a close relative called “giving in excess.” As I mentioned earlier, I’m a giver, “gift’r” I feel good when I can give of myself to others but being a giver one can give until they are empty and that can quickly go into a downward spiral. I have learned that being a friend or confidant means it must be “reciprocal.” When giving is only one-sided the giver can easily become depleted and if relationships are not about “give and take” they quickly become lopsided and broken. I am not saying keep score but to have a healthy balance. The last lesson I want to share with you is a “must” a prerequisite to boundaries and reciprocal relationship that would be love, “love yourself!” If your self-worth is nonexistent, you will fail. Expecting someone to invest in you when you don’t even like yourself is counterintuitive. You are so worth taking the time to be all you were created to be. I’m not saying this will be easy, it won’t! Don’t be what others think you are, be you…if that means listening to classical music instead watching sports on tv, it’s ok. If you want to wear dresses instead of sweatpants, it’s ok. Take time to figure out what makes you happy, I’m telling you from experience living out someone else’s ideas of who you are will one day have a reckoning with you and you will have no idea who you are anymore. Love yourself from the inside out.

~Peace, Love and Joy ~Always!

“He has told you, O man, what is good;and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness,and to walk humbly with your God? “~Micah 6:8

The Kiss

I once write about a kiss, a mystical, magical…world changing kiss. I’ve had many similar kisses to date, though honestly it been way too long. I watched a video tonight titled, this is what a kiss looks like…it was all the things I’ve imagined and have felt…waterfalls, fireworks, whitewater rapids,  flower petals, dew on the early morning grass, the song of a whip-poor-will, the chill in the air of a midnight stroll along the beach, the world lays in stillness and you and I are alone in the universe if for only a suspended moment in time. I may never experience this fairytale love affair I have tucked away in my heart, but I’m certainly not giving up on it either. I long to be someone’s princess, Someone’s somebody special…I deserve it! And face it, we all do! I see myself differently from how the world sees me. I know this to be true because when I look in the mirror, I feel like I’m seeing a stranger. I identify and see myself through my heart and my soul in addition to that, I am also very protective of myself being too vulnerable. You know, as humans we are quite fragile. Life is so much more than what the media chooses to show us, not everyone is a size 4, we don’t all have perfect skin and hair or pearly white smiles. The realities of life are that we are at times mood challenged, sleep challenged sometimes too much or not enough, sometimes rushing here and there but sometimes stuck in one place. None of us have perfect lives and honestly who would want it to be? Lives that are scheduled, planned, rehearsed and that are completely routine is not living; it is mere existence void of any emotion or need for human contact. I choose contact in any and all forms of hugs and kisses, holding hands, walking in after midnight in cool night air while stargazing, sounds of laughter and tears of joy. Whatever life may have in store for me, the wish I have and also hope for you is to be loved, loved beyond all your dreams~

A Kiss Is Still A Kiss

The innocence of it all
The reaction, still a mystery
Was it shock. Was it delight?

It was sweeter than I ever could have imagined
One small request
One summer night.

If I close my eyes
I can almost feel the moment
You and me
…one red Dodge
…one empty fair ground.

That kiss – just a kiss
But, oh what a kiss
It opened my life to a whole new world.

Since that summer night
My life, it has never been the same
Filled with much happiness mixed with some sadness

I often wonder about where my life would be
If not for that kiss
Perhaps I never really know but a parallel life is out there
…my hope, is for her happiness.

I will never regret my answer to the question
Will always be thankful for the experience
Yet, somewhat saddened by my limitations.

That kiss, though it was spectacular
Possibly mystical
However, in the end , it was just a kiss
But, oh what a kiss.

A kiss is still a kiss.

~C.A.Robinson
June 25, 1994

Past, Present…Future

Recently, I had a conversation with someone about the struggles associated with starting a new relationship. Often the fears of our past relationships can haunt us and we tend to dwell upon them as well as bring them into a new relationships let’s call it our “lifelong baggage.” This “baggage” is simply a piece of who we are and we don’t want our past relationships and/or our past experiences to define who we are. Our past, our “baggage” does not need to define us but it definitely has helped to mold us into the individuals we are today. It is because of our past and those lessons we have learned that make us who we are today. When starting a new relationship or rekindling an old one, the idea of a “clean slate” is always a good thing; however, a clean slate doesn’t mean that our past has to be erased have to be or wiped away; we should try to embrace it because all those experiences we have had and/or lived through makes us the person that we are today. If you like/love me for who I am right now standing before you, that has to include my past. All the choices that were made leading up to this very moment, whether they were good or bad, and the lessons learned along life’s journey, they are all a part of who we are. And, if we take any of those experiences away, it takes away from who we are. Embracing the past and recognizing the choices that were made, whether they were bad ones or good ones; they have all been done to create the individuals we are today. The past does not defined you; however, it has most definitely helped to teach the lessons needed to learn in order for us to be who we are at this very moment…perfectly imperfect! A child of God!

~Blessings and Peace~

Prayer

Prayer~ what images come to mind upon hearing or reading the word, “prayer”? No matter your religious beliefs or non-belief, I think most people form a visual of what prayer is to them. This is not a question of right or wrong or one singular way to pray or the type of prayer you practice or to whom in general. I will say that for me, I am a Christian and I pray to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I aspire to live and share my faith and its experiences with you, knowing that God’s hands and arms are big enough for all of us. When I think of prayer and the many ways of praying, I see knees bent with heads bowed and hands folded; I see hands raised and voices shouting; I see hands holding hands around a dinner table; I see tears of joy; I hear the voices of sadness and despair; I hear voices of praise and thanksgiving. All these describe us at our very best and at our very worst…what about the in-between times? I’ll be honest over the years I have found myself praying a lot in the 7th inning of my softball years; when family members and friends were suffering; after a great softball win and after the healing of a loved one. This all got me thinking about not just prayer, but why do we pray and do we pray enough? I began to research this and found myself in a place that I have been away from for far too long. You see I pray, often I think but it’s about what I’m praying about and why? God desires to be in connection with us; a relationship. He not only wants to hear our prayers of celebrations and of our grief, but He also wants to be in communication with us, hearing about the little things, our daily events that sometimes quite frankly are all too routine and quite possibly boring. I tell you this truth, He cares about the routine and the sometimes boring. I like to picture God with a smile when I mention His name. He doesn’t want to be invited and thanked for just the “good stuff,” He wants to be a part of everything! So recently, after talking about the Bible with friends of mine I realized after many decades of praying, I whisper when I pray. When I am alone in my home, I whisper? Curiously I ask myself why? I have spent some time asking myself and I came to an answer somewhat, I formed a habit and learned behavior in that I want to be respectful to God as I approach Him in prayer even though I believe He can hear my thoughts, know the longings of my heart and hears my every whispers…I think He would like to hear me “in conversation with” Him. Sometimes a whisper works, sometimes shouting a song will get the message across…this I know to be true…God wants to hear from us no matter the method, He loves us and hears our every spoken word or not. AMEN!
~Blessings and Peace~

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Darkness and Loneliness of Depression

Hours turn into days
Thoughts quickly fade to a haze
Food becomes comfort
Movements become less
Thoughts are sporadically up and down
Emotions flickering from hope to helpless
Knowing full well hope and help exist
Seeing the path needed but feeling powerless to pursue it
Wanting to be alone but comforted too
Feeling and sensing that this was coming for several days
As one who watches and anticipates devastating weather events
No matter the planning everyone knows the inevitable will happen
Depression slowly seeps into the cracks and crevices of the human existence
The harder one fights
The deeper one gets tangled in the desperate clutches of depressions hold
Much like someone being stuck in quicksand
The harder one fights to get out
The faster one sinks into its bottomless pit
One does not choose depression
Depression chooses and seeks out to destroy and devour individuals
All with no visible or invisible signs remorse
Recognizing the signs of depression creeping into ones existence
This is the best defense in taking its powers
Create alternative ways to divert and lessen depressions grip
Just because depression can happen
Doesn’t mean you can’t prepare for its arrival.

You might just surprise yourself with your abilities to be proactive and no solely reactive. Having a plan to reduce depression’s effects on you will take the power from depression and place it in your hands.
Continue to challenge yourself and learning about who you are, you are worthy, you valuable and most of all you are loved. God specifically and uniquely created you for a purpose and He promises to always be with you.
YOU MATTER! YOU ARE LOVED!

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Crisis Services | 24-Hour Help Hotline – Crisis Call Center
http://www.crisiscallcenter.org

Hotlines – Teen Health and Wellness
http://www.teenhealthandwellness.com/static/hotlines

~Blessings and Peace~

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Just a Little Love

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Do you ever have days where you just feel like you need more love in your life? I’m not talking “love” in the sense of romantic love. I mean love as it relates to the validation of your personhood, reinforcement that you contribute to the world in positive ways, recognition that you matter in small ways and big ways, or just to receive blessings by way of smiles from strangers, hugs from friends, and praise for being the person you are and being exceptional at being you! Most of us would agree there’s nothing wrong with receiving validation, reinforcement and blessings. The problem can sometimes come from seeking validation, reinforcement and recognition/blessings. I would venture to say a significant number of people reading this will be able to identify with the needs and desires for validation from people in our lives such as our family, friends, co-workers, church community, bosses, mailman/women, our favorite restaurants servers, postal carrier, supervisors…the list can be these things and/or many others. My point is when we rely on others to make us feel better about ourselves, we will always be disappointed. I have struggled with this issue on and off for as long as I can remember. I absolutely know that I matter, that I have a purpose, that there’s a plan for my life through Christ Jesus, but…really, there should never be a “but” following truth and trust in Jesus Christ. So why do some of us go into this self-destruct mode? Recently, I have been seeing lots of pictures and photos on Twitter that remind me, I am a child of God and He wants to love me as a parent loves and cares for their children. God also wants us to trust Him and to take the time and patience to love ourselves. I hope these words and photos provide you with encouragement and confidence to love yourself but most importantly that God loves you. I know this can be a difficult task to accomplish but you can do this, you are so WORTH it!
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~Blessings and Peace~

Cry Out To Jesus

I heard this song today and even though I’ve heard it several times, today thoughts of my mom flooded my mind when I heard it playing on the radio. Although the song is about the great love that God has for each of us, it also brought to mind the great love my parents have for me, my brother and our extended families. I have been extremely blessed in that I can remember my great-grandparents, and had my grandparents in my life many years into adulthood. Today, marks three years since my mom left this conditional world. I still miss her every day and although she’s no longer here physically, I still tell her I love her, visit her grave site and take small gifts…she lives in my heart and will always be my mom. My mom would not want me to continue struggling with her passing, she was a no-nonsense woman! I could not sleep tonight, my mind kept thinking of 3:22am, June 22…that’s when I got the call…I’m not sure what I expected would happen at 3:22, but I can tell you what I did at 3:22…I paused and let happy memories of her dance in my thoughts, eyes closed and thanked God for giving me the most amazing mom I could ever have ask for. It still hurts sometimes because girls just need their moms sometimes, no matter how old we get, moms can give provide just the right amount of love to heal most any crisis that comes along. Today I am going to concentrate on the happy moments we had together…her life should be celebrated and not simply to be mourned. This process of celebration won’t be easy but like the old saying goes…most things worthwhile are almost never easy. I would like to pass along a bit of knowledge I’ve been able to grasp during these past three years…do not run from your grief. The grieving process is different for everyone, at least the order of each stage of grief can be. I encourage you to explore the stages of grief, if and when you must face its challenges. I know that I’ve grown and matured in ways I never could have imagined because of the unimaginable loss of my mom. I give God the glory for lessons learned. My prayer for you is that God blesses you in a very special way today and that by sharing my grief story someone else is able to identify with it and accept that God is in control, He loves you and wants nothing but the best for you.

The Day

The day I never wanted to come
That day has come and gone
The imagined loss and emptiness
Those feelings has settled in
A void that cannot be filled
How does one grieve such a loss
Not with time, family or friends
Such a loss with open wounds
Wounds that are felt more than seen
Pain that blocks all healing
Mourning that feels no relief
Just one more hug or embrace
One more I love you
No one can ease the pains of life
Nothing like a mothers love
Mom, I miss you
I miss you everyday.

C.A.Robinson
~July 28, 2012
@ 10:26pm

~Blessings and Peace~