The quiet and stillness of the night, so serene and solemn. The darkness of night that once fed my fears now offers a peaceful place for contemplation. In the distance, I hear birds chirping as if a celebration is taking place, a party in which I was not invited. I listen while nestled in bed covered by the shadows of the night. The darkness holds secrets laced with fear, intimidation and shame. I have experiences I wish I could forget and others I wish I could recall. I need to let go of the troubling ones but I continue to hold onto them keeping them locked in time and tucked tightly away within the framework of my very being. I used to recall these troubling memories and moments, replaying them over and over in my mind so that I would never forget them. The power of ones mind is unimaginable at times, some of my experiences have faded over time and their sounds seem like distant echoes in my mind. Recently, new fear has taken me by surprise, oh how I ache for my mother’s voice filled with confidence, independence, comfort, all with a commanding presence. My mom is not just my mom, like so many other moms. She was my teacher, my first role model, but most of all she was my friend. She was my beginning, she carried me, gave birth to me, raised me, and we will forever be a tapestry of all things beautiful, something uniquely shared by mothers and daughters. She is woven into the very fabric of my life, with every breath I take she is a part of me. I have things in my life that are fragile parts and pieces that are entirely too painful for words; however, I know full well by not allowing my spirit to speak its truths and give my soul the opportunity to heal, I am allowing and giving permission for “fear” to live and grow inside of me. The shame, regrets and faults must be expelled, its rich environment must be eradicated and exposed for the fraud and the lies it contains. Memories will linger for a season, maybe two but the hold they once had will slowly but surely fade because truth has conquered fear. No more living in the shadows, step into the light and be you, beautiful you! The wonderful person God created you to be!
Celebrate your life, you were not a mistake or accident, God had you in His plans from before the beginning of time as we know it.
~Blessings and Peace~