Nothing and no one can replace or fill your shoes, “mom!” My heart still aches and misses you beyond anything I could ever imagine. You loved me so unconditionally, you supported me in everything I attempted to do. You gave so much of yourself with no expectations of a return. I miss you so much mom, I miss your voice, the funny faces you made when you knew I was up to something. I want your strength, your integrity, your dedication to family, your selflessness, but most of all I want you, I MISS YOU!
Everywhere I go, glimpses of you and them flood my thoughts. I know you think I’m cold, deceptive and secretive but I’m not. I try every day to be an honest, loving person who tries to do good. I want to help others not hurt them. It’s true what they say, every time you give a piece of your heart away there’s always the risk of losing it. I’ve tried to be a good friend, partner, lover, companion…I’m struggling to find meaning and reason to the “why” things don’t work out; as well as trying to accept that they may never have meaning or reason. Letting go is so much harder than hanging on. I’m good at hanging on, wishing and hoping things might change but they don’t ever seem to.
~Blessing and Peace~