Below are just a few writings/poems from the past I wanted to share.  My inspirations come from my dreams, life experiences and from observing life and how people interact with one another.

 

There’s not much in this life but love and hard work.

~Will Geer (Grandpa Zeb Walton)

 

Black and white
You lying on a bed of white
You inviting me
You and me
Skin to skin
Me holding you
You softly holding on
Feels like flying
Time stands still
Holding on to the air within
I want to this moment to last
Tears of joy flow freely
My eyes open
It was only a dream
My eyes quickly close
Bringing you back
My heart feels heavy
In the darkness
Your embrace I feel

C.A.Robinson
~February 27, 2011

 

Oh how I wish to be cradled in your arms

To feel safe and secure from the evils of this world

I yearn for the feeling of protection that covers me with your arms, the gentle caress that soothes my fears away

A feeling of complete and utter peace as I slumber wrapped in your loving arms

The assurance of reaching for you after a nightmare, knowing you’re only a touch away and all my fears scurry away

I tried so very hard to be so many things to you, these are the things you were to me.

C.A.Robinson
Nov. 30, 2011
12:43am

 

My Over-Protection

My porcelain doll shiny and new
Upon a pedestal all dressed in blue
Me looking up at you
You looking down at me
Never wanting you down to play
Fearing that day
You would not want to stay

~C.A.Robinson
February 05, 2012
1:30pm

References:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Geer

I have reached a crossroad in my life. I find myself thinking of my past, present and future. I feel like I am in a very good place at this time in my life. It is easier to look back on the events of my life with kinder and gentler eyes than those of my youth. I have maturity on my side and wisdom of the years. I do not like using the word “regret” because by doing so seems like I wish this or that had not happened. The truth is I do feel badly for the pain, sorrow and unhappiness I have caused others. But in the absence of these things, I would not have had the opportunity to learn from these experiences. Through my failed relationships I have learned to be a better life partner, discovered my limitations, my needs and my wants. I have learned relationships are partnerships of working together and complimenting one another. If I were to be availed the opportunity to say “I’m sorry things did not work out” I would do it; however, I know now that the faults for ruined relationships are almost never only one-sided. To my ex’s I have rationalized our breakups as something I did wrong, something I didn’t do right, I loved you too much or not enough. I have even admitted that there lives are better because we broke-up. I can honestly say I have only wished happiness and success to all those I’ve loved. I don’t know when or if I will ever “get over” the loss of my “true love” letting go is so very, very difficult. Perhaps, God is waiting for me to “let go” as long as I hold onto the past, I cannot securely grasp the present or pursue a future. Learning and changing my behaviors of the past can show me a clear vision of the present, to planning a future.

My professional life has also had it’s fair share of ups and downs, successes and failures. I’ve taken jobs because I wanted to pursue new adventures, I have taken jobs for their titles and prestige. It is because of these failures I am now more aware and have identified where my skills reside, my passion is ignited and to pursue jobs/positions that bring pure joy to me as well as contribute to the successes of those around me.

The most important revelation to my existence is my deep desire to know God and to do His Will. God has blessed me so abundantly and I so desire to be His child, to do His work. I have known of God’s love as far back as I can remember, I have fond memories of godly men and women teaching me the love of God, showing me companionship, friendship and stewardship. The writing below has always been a favorite of mine and I hope and pray that the people God brought into my life, know just how very thankful I am for having had the opportunity to have crossed paths with them.

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.”
~Flavia Weedn~

References:
goodreads.com

~Blessings and Peace~

Below is a devotional I get twice daily on my smart phone. It’s a wonderful site that provides specific bible verses and a brief related story that brings the two together. It also provides a trivia quest and a bible humor/joke. I can not say that all humor hits my funny bone. I have included the entry from today and I will share some personal notes at the end.

“The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Psalm 118:6 (NIV)

“With the Lord on my side I do not fear. What can mortals do to me?” Psalm 118:6 (NRSV)

“Fear, it leads to worry and obsession. It causes us to overreact or become paralyzed with inaction. When you feel the anxiety rising up in your throat and constant reminders abound to keep your broken record of thoughts swirling around, fear not. For the Lord is with you. If you seek Him, He will provide peace, comfort, and understanding. When the fear begins to rise up, conquer it! Do not let fear reign over you. The Lord is more powerful than fear.” http://jctrois.com

I can completely relate to this story. I have experienced a lot of fear during my life so far and continue to struggle at times. I can, with all honesty and sincerity tell you that the closer my relationship is to God, the less fearful I am. I know that most of my fears are results of me making assumptions about people and things, and sometimes a direct result of my confidence tank being empty. The closer I am to God, the more I want to seek His Will and not my own; when this happens there’s little room for fear to enter into my life and cause confusion and doubts. I have learned that confidence has to come from within; other people or things cannot give you confidence to be fearless. God is the only true source of clarity, strength, confidence and empowerment to conquer fear.

Our fears can be the result of our life experiences, situations and people we come into contact with. Just as we cannot do anything to receive salvation and eternal life in Heaven with God, our Creator and Savior; we are saved because God loves us and the price of our salvation was and is the life, death and resurrection of the Son of God. Jesus came to earth to be born for the sole purpose of sacrificing himself for the atonement for our sins, Jesus, the sinless took upon himself the sins of the entire world, faced pain and torment beyond anything our cruel minds could conjure up; Jesus withstood the pain of His Father looking away as He took upon sin, our sins, as God cannot look at sin as written in Isaiah 59:1-2 (NIV) “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NRSV) “No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.”

My personal battles with fear cross a wide range from individuals, to friendships, professional position, and even to my faith community. I would also like to reiterate that overcoming fear is internal; the external reasons whether just or not they have no power above God’s power. Fear to those of us that feel it, it is very real to us . I wish I could tell you the process of facing fears is an easy one. Truth is fears are learned over a long period of time and reinforced through our relationships, our jobs and through our environment, plus our social positions. Trusting God is your key to facing your fears, the first step is knowing and believing in Jesus Christ as your Lord & Savior. The closer our relationship with God, our faith received clarity to the Will of God in our lives. I still have fears, I can recognize them seeping into my life and because of that awareness I can remind myself of a great acronym a friend gave me and I hope it brings you confidence as it does for me:
F = False
E = Evidence
A = Appearing
R = Real

In closing, just as our faith needs to grow daily through the nourishment we receive from studying the Scriptures, so must our strength, confidence and understanding be sharpened by our interactions with others by followings God’s Word.

2 Timothy 2:15 (NRSV)
“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved by him, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly explaining the word of truth.”

Psalm 27
Triumphant Song of Confidence Of David.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”
Psalm 27:1 (NRSV)

References:
http://jctrois.com
biblegateway.com

~Blessings and Peace~

My church is doing a “Communion with God Prayer Vigil” it started April 11th s at 11am (EST) going through April 12th at 11am Participants were asked to connect with God through meditation, reading, or writing for 30 minutes. I have chosen to try to bring all three aspects into my selected time of 1am-1:30am (EST) on April 12th.  I am preparing by starting this blog entry. I will be reading Matthew 12 and looking at the lessons Jesus is teaching throughout the chapter, followed by mediating on the words Jesus provided to His followers and the many people who came to listen and be spiritually fed. The chapter starts out proclaiming Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath in verses 1-14; then starting with verse 15 we read the words from Isaiah the prophet proclaiming “God’s Chosen Servant”; starting in verse 22, we see the Pharisees making claims that Jesus is Beelzebub. Then, Jesus says to all that were present “that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” The starting in verse 38, the Pharisees are wanting Jesus to show them a sign, so that they would believe, Jesus replied with a lengthy answer verses 38 through 45; then 46 through the end of the chapter Jesus speaks regarding His mother and brothers; asking who is my mother and brothers?  We  are all Jesus’ family, we were and are His creation. Matthew 12 covers many items ranging from Jesus being foretold of and prophesied in the Old Testament by the prophet Isaiah, to sharing the meaning of “The Sabbath”; the fulfillment of the scriptures and final judgment for our individual offenses. It is a difficult task to grasp everything that is mentioned in Matthew 12, I am not a bible scholar and I am not trying to give any great insights or commentary but what I can do is share my personal thoughts and challenge you to pursue your own thoughts and feelings. There’s no better time than the Easter season to read and reflect on Jesus’ ministry to include His life, death and resurrection. It is a painful story to take in because of the terrible suffering Jesus endured, not for any other reason than His unending and unfailing love for each and every person ever or to be born. We are all uniquely created by God and even more miraculously, we all have individual and very personal purposes. So rightly so, your birth is a grand celebration of your divine creation! Psalm 139:13-15 “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.” If you are hungry for nourishment that can feed the soul and provide everlasting fulfillment, it is here for you, Jesus is the way, the truth and the life!  As you might be preparing for communion during this Lenten season, pause and visualize the bread and wine, Jesus body broken for YOU and the innocent blood He shed for the forgiveness of YOUR sins.  I encourage you to pray the Lord’s Prayer with me, feel God’s arms surrounding you…Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, Forever and ever. Amen.

~Blessings and Peace~

From personal experience I can say whenever I’ve been really ill my first cries for help and comfort are for my mom. There’s nothing that compares to a mothers touch or someone who represents that special and unique characteristic where we feel pure love. My mom is no longer able to provide care to her loved ones because she passed away two years ago, but just because she’s gone the yearning continues. At this very moment I am sitting in a hospital room keeping watch over my father who is recovering from surgery and has had a couple of rough days. It was a feeling of total exhaustion being helpless in providing a mothers touch and in this case, a spouses comfort. This morning I witnessed my father crying out for his wife of nearly forty-nine years, as I saw my father wanting the strength and love of his life partner. I too, found myself wishing she were here to help. I know I can not fill my mothers shoes as the matriarch of our family, nor do I want to try but I am trying to be the kind of woman she raised me to be. I am learning and experiencing many “life” lessons and honestly I’m overwhelmed at times. I was reminded today through an email from one of my favorite websites called “bravegirlsclub.com” I need to be me, the person I dreamed of becoming when I was a child, the person I was raised and mentored to be. I will always be my parents daughter, and they too were and are their parents daughter and son. I haven’t experienced or even dreamed of being what my parents dreamed or wished I would have become or pursued and you know what? They loved me all the same, probably even more than I have ever really given them credit for. I may not be my dads mother or wife but I can love him like no one else, the love that only a daughter can give. I pray that God grants me the wisdom and opportunity to express this love for him and to him.  I am sensing the full circle of love and life plus experiencing it with a renewed appreciation. My prayer is that you recognize the circles of love in your lives and to broaden your views to include what it looks and feels like to yearn and ache for the one pure love in your life. I am also praying and asking you to be even bolder and recognize this love on an even higher plain, to see how much more our creator, God…loves us, and that He suffered the loss of His Son, Jesus who took on sin to atone for our sins so that we could be cleansed and renewed in His perfect pure love. Tell those special individuals in your life how much you love them.

~Blessing and Peace~

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

Today, I experienced a church service unlike any I have had the opportunity to participate in. The service was broken into five different stations which included: Labyrinth, Communion; Stewardship; Praying in Color and Taize. Although, I have experienced each of these individually, I had never experienced them all in a single service. Each station was a seven minute mini-service; each station had a designated leader to maintain the focus. I found the experience inviting and thought-provoking but left me wanting more, which may have been the anticipated outcome. In preparation for Easter, each station was designed for individual moments leading to a movement in celebration for the precious gift given freely to each of us through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I hope you find the information on here helpful and I pray that you experience Christ in a very real way during this Easter Celebration. Psalm 46:10 (NRSV) “Be still, and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations; I am exalted in the earth.”

Labyrinth: It is an ancient symbol that relates to wholeness. It combines the imagery of the circle and the spiral into a meandering but purposeful path. The Labyrinth represents a journey to our own center and back again out into the world. Labyrinths have long been used as meditation and prayer tools. Labyrinth has only one path. The way in is the way out. There are no blind alleys. The path leads you on a circuitous path to the center and out again. A labyrinth is a right brain task. It involves intuition, creativity, and imagery. With a maze many choices must be made and an active mind is needed to solve the problem of finding the center. With a labyrinth there is only one choice to be made. The choice is to enter or not. A more passive, receptive mindset is needed. The choice is whether or not to walk a spiritual path.

Communion: It is an intimate personal interaction between you and God; a relationship, especially one in which something is communicated or shared; a religious group with common faith: a religious group with its own set of beliefs and practices, especially a Christian denomination.  Sharing in the The Lord’s Supper as He did with his Disciples.

Stewardship: It applies to everything we have been given. Our time, our money, our God-given gifts and abilities, our influence, it all comes from God.

Praying in Color: To be honest, all I can share it what we actually did today. We used coffee filters, flattened out, using a permanent marker and wrote words describing prayers; i.e. hope, friends, love, peace…and then using food coloring drop single drops onto the filter which makes a tie-die effect. I do have good news, after looking on the web I found a great website called “Praying in Color.” I hope you try it, I found it therapeutic and a strong visual for my feelings.

Taize: It is an ecumenical sung and silent participatory prayer service designed to achieve a contemplative state through music, song and silence. Taize worship can be short chants, repeated again and again, give it a meditative character with a brief introduction printed in the paperback songbook. Using just a few words, [the chants] express a basic reality of faith, quickly grasped by the mind. As the words are sung over many times, this reality gradually penetrates the whole being.

~Blessings and Peace~

References:

http://www.lessons4living.com/labyrinth.htm

http://www.biblegateway.com

http://prayingincolor.com

http://www.lighthousetrailsresearch.com/taize.htm

Bing Dictionary

Psalm 86:2-7 (NIV) “Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save your servant who trusts in you.You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you. You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Hear my prayer, Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me.” I was reluctant to start my devotional tonight, I had a long and busy day at work. I also found out I did not get the promotion I had applied for which left me not feeling bad but also not happy. I had secretly been hoping one of two very close coworkers would have gotten the “nod” it was not to be the case. What most of us in the office had suspected would happen, did indeed happen. So no surprises by anyone, I truly believe it was just an elaborate facade to even open the position to everyone eligible because the one “squeaky wheel” in the group was selected in the end. I am in no way saying the person isn’t qualified, every single person that applied in my opinion was qualified in that we all perform the same duties with the same expectations just some of us have had more opportunities for a success rate. So, at the end of the day…I ask myself, am I happy? Do I have purpose? Do I make a difference? I can honestly reply to all with an astounding YES! I do not need an acronym added to my name, nor do I need added job responsibilities or even accolades from my superiors. What I do need and desire is to purposely make a difference in being the best “me” I can be in representing my company and my values. My original thoughts prior to reading the verses above was to throw some political rhetoric about rights and respect, blah…blah…blah! I am choosing to share God’s message and not mine. At the end of your day if you can answer yes to the three questions I posed…it’s been a good day! Life is more than job titles and more money, money and power can do lots of things but there’s two things it will NEVER do…it will not and cannot make you truly happy and it will not get your soul into Heaven. The price for entry into Heaven has been paid in full by Jesus Christ. Amen! My you find comfort and strength in these verses. Psalm 86:2-7 (NIV) “Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save your servant who trusts in you.You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you. You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Hear my prayer, Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me.” ~Blessings and Peace~

Some things in life are just unimaginable while other things are just so dreadful one runs to escape the images.  I do not know what the future may hold but I know whatever it may be I absolutely want, no need to have my Lord and Savior with me.  Philippians 4:13…”I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.”  Love is kind, love is when your heart is breaking  and you still feel and want to love even more. O God, show me your ways, not mine.  O God, take my brokenness and make me whole. I find no comfort to soothe the aches that consume me, only you can heal my wounds.  God I love you and ask for guidance and most especially bless and keep my dad and my brother near you, as you are caring for my mother who is in Heaven with you.  You are my rock and my salvation. Amen.

~Blessing and Peace, to All~

God, I know you had plans for me and that you have plans for me.  Long before I was even born, you knew me and you created every part of my being.  I know nothing that is, just happened.  Everything, every minute detail was designed by you for your glory.  As I grow older and hopefully wiser, my view of the world has changed dramatically, typical when I was younger I saw the world around me to be free and full of opportunities to make a name for myself.  Now, years later there’s still freedom and opportunities but I do not have a burning desire to “puff” myself up to be something I am not.  I was thinking that life has grown more difficult with my age and life experiences but the truth is it’s not easier or harder, life’s lesson’s we must learn and endure are quite elementary.  Take cheating, compared from say the 1940’s or ’50’s to now in 2014.  The emotions one experiences would be the same, the moral fabric if you will.  The only change I see is, we now have more sophisticated ways of hiding it, so externally it may be easier to hide but what gets you caught are the emotions/morals we have on the inside those at our very core.  I use the example of “cheating” because we all or at least most can relate to it.  I won’t lie, I have cheated and been cheated, either side of the fence it feels awful.  As I approach an age milestone in my life I feel enormously blessed to have experienced being a kid in the late ’60’s and ’70’s.  I can watch “The Walton’s” or “Little House on the Prairie” and understand the family values and how God is central to their lives.  I have experienced rural country living as well as the city, both hold special places in my life.  I often feel detached from my immediate family and extended relatives who have never left the rural existence; I am in no way saying one way of living is better than another, only different.  I believe whole heartedly that I am where God wants me to be and I hope I never out grow my growing up in rural America, the fabric and textures of its simplistic-ness have woven me into the woman I am today.  We, as a society have created new ways of completing tasks with great efficiency, the tasks themselves have not changed much over the years, getting dressed still requires pants one leg at a time; driving still requires instinct and reflexes, education still requires drive, motivation, and the basics of the 3 R’s (reading, riting, rithmatic) that’s funny to those of you that “get it!”  Please forgive me for getting off topic, what I wanted to share is, my life was never mine to begin with, I am God’s creation and I have purpose, now more than ever in my life I am unlocking doors and seeing more vividly the urgency of  living for God, not beside, or with but FOR GOD!  without God I am nothing, you are nothing…we have purpose because God designed, created and gave us all life.  What a gift!  I finally realized I cannot and will never be good enough to be in God’s sight, we are sinful creatures, born into and of sin BUT, we are made NEW by the sacrifice at Calvary.  Jesus has paid the price for all our sins, I pray you already know Jesus in a personal way but if you have never recognized what Jesus has done for you and that you were not an accident or coincident, you are a one of a kind masterpiece of the Master.  God, this is Charlotte, thank you for my life and I ask that you bless each person who reads or hears this, show them your love, mercy and grace.  Help us to seek you everyday in all that we do, help us to see your arms open to hold us when we are tired, scared and lonely.  God, take our mouths and speak through them, take our minds and think through them and take our hearts and set them on fire! Amen.

~Blessings and Peace~

Check out “Pray” by Sanctus Real

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Decisions, decisions, decisions!  For anyone who knew me in college, I lived for “crunch time.”  Pulling “all-nighter’s” for an exam, most especially “finals” but sometimes because I didn’t manage my time wisely and sometimes just being lazy.  Although it’s been many years since my college days a few of these traits are still common in my life.  I have been postponing  a task that is important but because of fear, guilt, responsibility and even a bit of shame it hasn’t happened.  Oh, I’ve got reason and excuses but the truth is I’m scared and fearful.  So, this week is the week I face my fear and address my task.  I’ve been talking about my choices and what needs to happen, it’s the actual act of doing it that has yet to materialize. I just had an image of myself flash before my eyes, I am much like a politician in that I say a lot of things but have done very little to make myself believable.  I read something today that jolted my being into stop talking and start “doing.” I get emails from a site called, Brave Girl’s Club and this is what I read today, “We can decide what kind of life we want to have, and we are the ONLY ones who can decide. We can’t wait around for things to happen. We must take action to make them happen. No more excuses, baby. Let’s do this.”  God speaks to us all in many different ways, I am thankful that God has not given up on me, as I am seeking to listen and follow Him, Amen!  I am not going to lie, I do not feel brave or courageous, in fact I’m terrified but procrastination can only go for so long before something happens, good/bad or indifferent…either you make the decision and have ownership or the situation owns you.  That is not what God wants, God is always with us and I am drawing my strength from Him and seeking to do His will.

~Blessings and Peace~

References: http://bravegirlsclub.com/

Isaiah 12:2 “Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation.”