“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.”

~Anonymous

Fear debilitate and inhibits. It limits and paralyzes. Fear smothers and clouds. It darkens and controls. Fear misunderstands and angers. Unfortunately, fear can rule. Fortunately, love trumps fear. Welcome being wrong. Let it go and celebrate your creative spirit. The world needs the real you!

Too many of us, myself include live in fear, fears for a myriad of different things but they all debilitate us in one way or another. I have found that the closer I cling to my fears the less I am able to do, I am less free. Fears are tricky, some are a direct result of personal experiences while others are simply made up or felt vicariously from or through others. I have and continue to struggle with fears. I have attempted to overcome some of them while others still scare me a bit. For instance, I do not like to be in the dark literally or figuratively. When I was a kid I had fallen asleep on my parents bed, my brother and I were with a babysitter. I awoke in the middle of the night thinking I was still in the same place but I wasn’t I could not see anything and I couldn’t find the door…it probably only took a few seconds for my mom to come get me but it felt like hours. When I was in the sixth grade I did not know the answer to a history question my teacher ask me and she humiliated me in front of all my classmates and I ran out of the class crying. I have struggled with any type of public speaking because of that experience. I’m better today, I even passed my speech class in college but I partly attribute my passing the class to deliberately taking a class with total strangers so when I messed up it was not in front of people I knew. I received my B.A. in Secondary Education but I was completely freaked out to be in charge, student teaching was interesting but thankfully I had amazing Teachers to support me. My first year out of college I taught at a local high school where I grew up, it was ok, I enjoyed coaching girls volleyball, basketball and track and taught swimming to elementary kids. My heart was just not into using my skills in this arena and my fears didn’t want me being a focal point. I have never returned to traditional teaching in a school but God opened doors I never knew existed to use my gifts and talents. Both my praise and adoration goes out to all the teachers that inspire and educate the youth of today, it is a huge challenge and you openly accept the call. So, I’m not going to bore you with my whole life history but I will tell you God has done amazing things and has provided opportunities for me to use my Education degree in multiple ways throughout my professional career. I have a very dear friend that gave me a book not long ago called, “conquering FEAR-Living Boldly in an Uncertain World” by Harold S. Kushner.” I heard this phrase a few years ago and I really like a lot, “Name it, Claim it.” If our fears remain at a distance and we never try to understand them, they will always have us under their control. When we “name” our fears and choose to “claim” our fears that is when “WE” control things. We may still have fear but it no longer holds the key to where and what it is or what it can do, its power at the very least is diminished. The best part of all this is, you don’t have to do it alone, God will be with you the entire journey, all you need to do is ask Him.

Friends, I can’t imagine some of the fears you are facing, some I will never endure but there is someone who does and He loves you unconditionally. If you don’t know Him, write me and I will introduce Him to you. Or simply say God, I believe in you and I want you to come into my life and live. I recognize I am not worthy because I am sinful but I know you can save me. I ask this in the name of Jesus, your Son. Amen.

References:
Psalms 23: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff—they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long.”

This is the prayer that Jesus taught His Disciples to pray is found Matthew 6:9-13 (NKJV)
“In this manner, therefore, pray:
Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”

 

 

 

 

I am dedicating this blog to someone very special to me and gave me a wonderful gift recently, she holds a very special place in my life and because of her ability to show me mercy and forgiveness I have been able to remember some very fond memories. Our lives are going and growing in different directions, she needs freedom to explore her journey and although I will miss her greatly, this is something she must do alone. She will remain in my heart and in my prayers. After arriving home from work I settled in read to start my nightly readings of my devotionals and inspirational apps on my iPhone. There was an overwhelming theme that kept appearing. God was speaking to me and I felt God wanting me to share my thoughts with you. The very first thing I read was, Galatians 6:4-5 (The Message) “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” Wow, we are all created individually by God, we have specific features, likes and dislikes, dreams and wishes…and God wants to give them all to you. Include God in your plans, He wants to share your life and fill your life with goodness. You may be sitting there reading this and saying…”Where’s my joy, my dreams and wishes?” Sometimes we have to work very hard to get the things we want and desire, God will be with you 100% of the way. Take notice of the things in your life that might need to be taken out or added to, in order to achieve all the things you want, God’s promise is, He would never leave us, He never said getting them would be easy. Rarely are the things of great value ever easy to obtain, we learn to appreciate the things that cause us to reflect. It took the Israelites 40 years to reach the “Promised Land” because they wanted it to be easy! Why did it take 40 years? Because they were disobedient to God and expected continual miracles from Him. Friends, please take hold of this promise from God found in Hebrews 13:5-6

The Message (MSG) “Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” we can boldly quote, “God is there, ready to help; I’m fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?” Whenever I hear this song on the radio I sing it and feel God’s power and protection, I hope you can find them as well, the song is “Whom Shall I Fear” by Chris Tomlin. This is verse 3 and the chorus:
My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
Chorus:
I know Who goes before me
I know Who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side
The One who reigns forever
He is a Friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side.

This song gives me strength, encouragement and confidence that God is bigger and stronger than anything this world can do to me. These things can be yours as well.

The next thing I read was “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Philippians 4:4.
It ask the question do you ever look back at yourself in photos and wish you could go back? Treasure today more than your youth. We are given today to praise God for who we are and where we have come from. Anytime the Bible repeats, it’s important to take note; it’s an extra important lesson. The Lord has brought you to this spot today, let’s find joy in it. Our past is important because we are who we are because of it, but we are not meant to live is the past, as wonderful and as beautiful as it was, those moments we shared and cherished are over. I am not telling you this because it’s easy, it isn’t and will be one of the hardest things you will ever do, leaving the past in the past. I have been experiencing a wave of emotions and images recently in my life, experiences from my past and the people I shared my life with and as much as I wanted to go back and be in those moment and in that space, I couldn’t. I’m different and my wants are different, but I absolutely want happiness for both of us and hopefully this time I am being more mature and respectful to you.

I cannot take credit for this but it is beautifully written and I pray you are led by the Holy Spirit when you read it. It is from Brave Girls Club.

Dear Beautiful Girl,

Whatever grows in your life is what has been planted there, what has been nurtured, fed and given time and attention.

What is growing there? What is it that has been planted in your one beautiful, precious life?

Have you carefully planned the rows of fruits, vegetables and flowers? Or are things growing there that blew in with the wind? Are weeds taking over?

It is never too late to weed your garden, and now is the perfect time to pull out the dead things, the unwanted things, the overgrown things, and make room for the new growth you are so badly yearning for.

Take a moment today to see what is truly growing in your life, and whether or not there is room for the things that you most want to see the fruits of.

Be brave enough to pull out the unwanted things and get your life ready to lay the seeds of your wildest dreams.

YOU CAN DO IT!
You are so so loved.
xoxo

The very last sentence is sad but sometimes required. Listen to your heart, listen for God’s small still voice. Praying that your life and your garden is filled with all things good and prosperous!

Then I read this: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1.

~Blessings and Peace~

References:
http://www.biblegateway.com
http://jctrois.com
http://www.bravegirlsclub.com

 

 

Just as beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, truth and trust are in the hearts of the those who promise and those hoping to receive. Try as we may, promises are broken, while some are not intentional or in a defiant, malice manner, it happens. The truth, in my opinion is we should not make promises because rarely are they kept. Love and promises are the things we hope, dream and aspire to be, to have and to do; however, few actually ever attain and fewer yet hold onto their love and promises made. Sometimes in the face of defeat and broken promises discouragement moves in and life begins to feels less joyful and very small. I am reminded that true joy comes from within and lasting joy comes from Jesus. The only promises never broken, came from God. When we have Jesus in our hearts are soul is fed by the Holy Spirit and our steps are watched by our Father, God. The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 5:5 “it’s better that you don’t promise than that you do promise and not follow through.” Friends, I encourage you as well as myself to trust in God’s promises and seek His will for our lives, asking for His guidance in all that we do and say. Practice giving mercy and grace as they are both poured out in abundance to each of us by God on a daily basis. I hope you find comfort in God’s promises listed below.

10 Scriptures About God’s Promises

2 Peter 1:4 “And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Matthew 11:28-29 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Isaiah 40:29-31 “He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

Philippians 4:19 “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”

Romans 8:37-39 “No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Proverbs 1:33 “But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.”

John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

Romans 10:9 “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

~Blessings and Peace~

Today, the phrase “Just say Jesus” kept playing over and over in my thoughts.  I felt empty but found no words to express myself except for “Just say Jesus.”  I hope and pray you can find answers, peace and healing in the lyrics written below.

Just Say Jesus

7eventh Time Down

Life gets tough, and times get hard
It’s hard to find the truth in all the lies

If you’re tired of wondering why
Your heart isn’t healing
And nothing feels like home
Cause you’re lost and alone just screaming at the sky

When you don’t know what to say
Just say Jesus
There is power in the name
The name of Jesus
If the words won’t come
Cause you’re to afraid to pray
Just say Jesus

Whisper it now, or shout it out
However it comes out, He hears your cry
Out of nowhere He will come, you got to believe it
He will rescue you
Just call out to the Way, The Truth, The Light

When you don’t know what to say
Just say Jesus
There is power in the name
The name of Jesus
If the words won’t come
Cause you’re to afraid to pray
There is just one name
Strong enough to save
There is just one name
There is just one name
Jesus

When you don’t know what to say
Just say Jesus
There’s still power in the name
The name of Jesus
If the words wont come
Cause you’re to afraid to pray
If the words wont come
And you don’t know what to say
Just say Jesus

Check out this video on YouTube:

 

#WTLB was the sermon title this morning at church. I can honestly say, I felt the Holy Spirit lead me to be present to hear this message. To explain, WTLB = Words To Life By. The presenter reminded everyone that our words make a difference in life whether good or bad. I have personally had conversations with friends and even co-workers detailing my efforts in trying to be very intentional with the words I choose to use, most especially during times of stress and duress on the job and in my personal life. I am not proud of some of my choices and often my words spew out too freely and uncensored. It is at these times, not only do I cause uneasiness of those around me, myself for being foolish and the worst part of all I am not representing my Savior. Our words hold the power to comfort or to cause great pain, our words can lift others up or to tear them down. Even the tone of our voices, the way we use our body language when delivering our words can and do have lasting effects on those caught in our web of destruction. I am in no way shape or form close to being perfect, I am sinful; although it is true we are born into sin and a sinful nature we can choose to bridle our tongues and guard them from causing shame to ourselves but more importantly our Father, God. God has never requested perfection from His children; He knows that is not possible. But it is possible to be in relationship with God because Jesus paid the price for our sins. Jesus left Heaven, He left His Father, and He chose to be born and to become human all because He loved us. His love is greater than all our sins. Jesus used His words to teach, to comfort, to heal, for trust, encouragement and always delivered His words for God’s Will and purpose. The Bible is full of words, as I read the Bible, whether New or Old Testament I am confident that God in speaking to me through the many writers that contributed to its writing. It’s God’s book of instructions to us, a love letter and a life letter to everyone and anyone who accept His gift of eternal life. “Words” do the words you use during your day hold meaning for you? Are you aware of your words in your “tweets,” “emails,” “Instagram” “text messages”… there’s an endless list of ways we use our words. What is the purpose and goals we hope to accomplish when using specific words? We all have the power to change someone’s outlook simply by the words we use. Paradoxically, even when we think we are sharing good words, they too can be misunderstood for instance most people who text message know what the acronym (lol) means “laugh out loud.” To paraphrase my Pastor from this morning’s sermon, a mom sends a message to relatives about a death in the family and adds “lol” at the end of her message. The daughter of the mom who sent the messages calls and ask, why did you say “lol” and do you know what it mean? The mom replies, “lots of love,” the daughter replies, and no it means “laugh out loud.” I’m hopeful that everyone was able to see this as a miscommunication and hopeful realized it was sent with love. It is very easy to see how words and their intended meaning can make a huge difference not merely in our lives but in the lives of everyone we interact with, this is most especially important now more than ever as we try communicating using 140 characters or less and/or our use of acronyms. Even with the best of intentions, words can be misunderstood given all the many modes of communication available to us today. I am seeking to share truthfully, with sincerity, as clearly as possible with all I have the opportunity to do so, I encourage you to try it as well, it’s a win-win scenario. May God, the Father bless you, the Holy Spirit guide you and the love of Jesus always cover you.

~Blessings and Peace~

References:

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” ~ Proverbs 18:21

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. “ ~Psalm 19:14

“Rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” ~Proverbs 12:18

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” ~Proverbs 15:1

“But now you must get rid of all such things—anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language from your mouth.” ~Colossians 3:8

“Indeed, the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing until it divides soul from spirit, joints from marrow; it is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart” ~Hebrews 4:12

“If any think they are religious, and do not bridle their tongues but deceive their hearts, their religion is worthless.” ~James 1:26

“Those who guard their mouths preserve their lives; those who open wide their lips come to ruin.” ~Proverbs 13:3

“I tell you, on the day of judgment you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter; for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” ~Matthew 12:37

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.” ~Romans 12:14

“For those who desire life and desire to see good days, let them keep their tongues from evil and their lips from speaking deceit; let them turn away from evil and do good; let them seek peace and pursue it. ~1 Peter 3:10-11

Today started out like most days for me…shower, dress, check my mail, driving to work, arrive too early, hangout until time to clock in. Nothing seemed out-of-place except for me. All of a sudden, normal noises felt like someone was screaming into ears, I felt as if I had weights on my shoulders and my lungs were not getting enough oxygen. Sunlight hurt, walking felt heavy as if my shoes were made of concrete. Outside of writing this, my mind does not want to concentrate it feels empty inside. I can’t explain it, I felt fine and now I am just so very irritated. I requested to take the rest of the day off but made sure it would not negatively affect my co-workers, I knew I was approaching a boundary and I certainly did not want them to be caught in crossfire if I found myself exploding over something trivial. The best course of action was to excuse myself from a possible battleground. It’s difficult for me to be in such a predicament, I don’t like to come across as needy or burdensome but the reality is there’s nothing wrong with needing someone’s help. It is not a sign of weakness, from the very beginning of time God knew it was not good for (man) people to be alone that’s why he created two beings instead of only one. The message I am hoping to accept as well as pass onto you is this: Life is precious, it needs rest, nutrition, smiles, hugs, shoulders to lean on, voices of comfort and compassion, prayers for strength, prayers for thanks-giving. Do not be so stubborn to turn away friends who want to help, it does not make you weak. Being weak is a myth and the longer we allow such thoughts to permeate our existence the longer we will be enslaved to this worlds views. Ask God to intercede, let Him be your solid foundation, I promise you will find rest in Him.

~Blessings and Peace~

What is this statement saying? Do you know your “center?” Do you know your “boundaries?” For many people these two things are identified early in life, especially boundaries…parents teaching their children to do very specific things especially for their safety. Such things as; watching for traffic, not talking or follow a stranger, staying away from a fire…another thing our parents tell us to do is to be respectful of our elders. Our boundaries are often an extension of what we were taught at very young age, we also tend to mimic the actions of others we observed when we were young. During the past few years I have become very intentional at looking at my life. I’ve tried to make sense of my youth and the events that forever made an impression upon my soul. I have also been looking more closely at the past couple of decades of my life trying to understand who I was, who I should have been, critiquing my actions and values, wanting to put things and events into a perspective I can learn from and to move forward being the person God created me to be. I cannot tell you the day or hour the realization came to me but when I finally and completely saw that my life is not and was never mine alone, but that I was created by God for His purpose and glory it was at that moment things became clear. God had always been a part of my life, just not the center of my life, that was a pivotal moment! Seeing my life belonging to God gave me a completely new view of myself and a different way to approach life. For many years I have tried to be the kind of person I thought others wanted me to be, I was still mimicking others. My likes, my dreams, my actions…all these things and more I did for others. I was afraid if I stood alone I would never be liked or loved. It wasn’t about peer pressure although that may have been in part a motivating factor, the truth is I wanted to be liked and more importantly I wanted to be loved. I live with an overwhelming desire to be helpful, helpful because I truly care, helpful because I can interject myself into a group or person I admire; however, all the helping and interjecting I did still left me with a void empty space inside. I tried filling this space with people, places, things…nothing filled me or sustained me. I felt like I was somehow cheated from having joy and a life filled with happiness. During my 20’s 30’s and even my early 40’s, I basically moved from job to job, relationship to relationship…sort of a drifter moving with the wind. I must interject that I did care deeply for the individuals I shared a relationship with, I just had not learned the lessons I needed to, in order to be a good partner. I don’t think I ever really tried to figure out things I just kept going forward hoping the next thing or person would fill the void in my life and if I were all the things they hoped for I would get my happily ever after…not exactly. I have suffered loss but nothing in extreme compared to anyone else, I have to say losing my mom has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever dealt with. I was completely unprepared for it, not to say anyone ever is. I felt like the ground underneath me gave way and all of a sudden I started seeing things start to spin I wanted so badly to give into this temptation of letting go but I did not because my dad and my brother needed me and needed me to be strong for them. It will be two years next month and I still miss my mom ever single day. My relationships with my dad and brother has grown over the past couple of years and I now have new insights about who they truly are and what they mean to me. I tried to be who I thought they needed me to be over the past couple of years but because of God and His never-ending love I am embarking on a new path of being me, the me I never really gave a chance to thrive. And do you know what? They still love me! I am establishing boundaries where previously I had none. I’ve learned the difference between helping and doing, a huge revelation!  Helping can be wonderful but if you’re helping because they do not know how to do things for themselves then you are cheating them from learning. Try teaching and helping together, I promise the reward with be worth it. If you love someone enough to help, love them more by teaching them. I’ve learned that love is not about doing, it’s about being; being true to who you are and sharing that with another. I’ve learned that happiness is not what someone can give you it comes from within yourself, we all have that power. Happiness is not possessions, possessions can offer convenience and comfort, but true happiness is inside you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with material things, but if you think a big screen TV or a BMW will provide happiness and fill the void in your life, you will be sadly disappointed. God has so much love for you it is mind-blowing, impossible to imagine but absolutely possible to experience! Once you say, God I am yours and yours alone be prepared to experience life! I can tell you once you have decided to follow Jesus you will never look at your life the same ever again. I still miss my mom but I know I will see her again, she’s in good hands, God’s hands! I am happier than ever before and although I’m not in a relationship, my trust is in God and I do have a desire to share my life with someone and I am now more than ever before prepared to do so if it’s God’s will. It is because of having boundaries and living into them have I found my center, the innermost part of me, my very soul and giving it back to my Creator that I now have life, life more abundant and life everlasting in Christ Jesus!

~Blessings and Peace~

P.S. To my friend~
Tell me why…
The sky is blue…
Tell me why…
The grass is green…
Tell me why…
…I do not know why but I do know
God loves you and so do I…<3

Tonight as I tried to settle in for my nightly devotional time, my mind was filled with feelings and thoughts of the day. I ask God to provide some direction for my study time, I’m here to tell you God provided not merely direction but a beacon! Below are the scripture verses that are from three different apps I use daily on my iPhone. I do not believe it was coincidental the passages had a familiar tone to them. I had been thinking about my life and trying to understand how different I think I am from everyone else, someone close to me suggested that it’s not how different I see myself from others but rather look within myself and be proud of who I am and stop trying to put myself into someone else’s idea of who I think I should be. Along with all this thinking, I have a friend who is experiencing difficulties and my heart is heavy because I want to help, physically help and be supportive and I feel inadequate for several reason but the best help I can do is pray for her and her children. Pray for peace and clarity for her. God is our shelter in troubled times, He is our strength when we are weary, He is our salvation! Life is messy sometimes and difficult, very difficult but we are never alone, the world and the people around us can do many terrible things to us but no one can take our spirit, we alone hold the key, we can give it away but it can never be taken. None of us are perfect, if we were Jesus would not have had to suffer and die for our sins. I know I have made some really bad decisions in my life and these verses remind me that truth is always right, especially when it hurts so deeply. This is a lesson I struggle with at times because I do not like to see someone else hurting but some lessons can only be learned by experiencing it first hand. It’s like laughing and crying, at some point in your life you have had to experienced these two emotions separately, how else would you truly appreciate laughter if you had never experienced the depths of what is its direct opposite, pain and crying. As my friend is living through troubled times I pray that she feels the loving arms of Jesus wrapped around her, that she knows that God loves her and her kids. God knows every truth, every wrongdoing and I am reminded of the scripture passage in John 8:32 “…and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” Free to be a child of God, free to love your children. My friend, I am here for support and friendship. Trust God and cling to His promises. Deuteronomy 31:6 (NRSV)
“Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the Lord your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you.”

“Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least.” ~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe – Writer, playwright (1749-1832)

“The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment.” ~Proverbs 12:19

“Stay away from a foolish man, for you won’t find knowledge on his lips.” ~Proverbs 14:7

“Do not dare not to dare.” (The Horse and His Boy) ~C.S.Lewis

~ Blessing and Peace~

 

 

 

Do you ever think about all the comfortable things you have in your life? Often we take things for granted like the clean air we breathe, shelter from the elements, food that gives nourishment, clean water to drink and bathe in…it can be an endless list of things we receive and use without thought or thanksgiving. I want to go a step further and recognize another kind of comfort I have in my life, my connection to a unique group of women, I’m honored to call them my friends. This special group of women have been my “comfort” during times of sorrows and my “support” in times of exceeding joys. This specific group of women call themselves, “Esther’s Circle” several of the women have known one another for years, some only a few and some they have just met. The love of sisters in Christ is their unbreakable bond, their foundation. I am so very thankful to be a part of Esther’s Circle and although our bond to one another is metaphorically a circle, our love and compassion for all has no boundary. I had the opportunity to spend time with Esther’s Circle yesterday, we had taken a few months sabbatical to attend another function sponsored at our church. It was such a wonderful feeling to be together once again, it was similar to attending a reunion of relatives and catching up with all the happenings in one another’s lives. Ironically, we are in the process of reading a book by Bob Goff called “Love Does.” We started reading the book in August 2013, we are moving rather slowly but that’s ok. We typically read 2 chapters a month and then spend time discussing the chapters based upon book study questions. I had the opportunity to lead the discussion last night and to share suggested scriptures for the specific chapters. The book is a collection of short stories from Bob’s life although some stories seem unbelievable, truth be told we all have a story or two about ourselves that might seem unbelievable too. His stories show grace, acceptance, endurance, perseverance, love, forgiveness, and joy to mention a few but he also shares his family and faith with the reader. Many of us in Esther’s Circle have joked about the believability of a few of his stories but as I left our meeting last night I was suddenly struck with a profound sensation that the message Mr. Goff is sharing with his readers is exactly what this group of extraordinary women do on a daily basis, share love with everyone they encounter…Love Does is not merely words in a book but also the actions of a group of women loved by God who share God’s love and I am so very blessed to be a part of it.

~Blessings and Peace~

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. ~Proverbs 16:18

Most of us like to think we grow and learn from our past mistakes. If I say I believe all things happen for a reason and trust that God has a plan, does that also mean I accept the fact that bad things happen to good people? I tell people I am not the person I was 10 years ago or even 15 years ago; however, the true reality of that statement is false. My DNA remains the same, my blood type is the same and to look at me I’m basically the same. What is it that moves me to say with such conviction, I am different? I am changed on the inside, the power of the Holy Spirit is at work within my very being. I have put an enormous amount of time and energy into understanding God’s purpose and plan for me and my life. I tried justifying my past decisions and actions, tried being what I thought others wanted and needed me to be. Convinced myself that my actions helped, even saved others. I guess I told myself and I heard myself saying over and over these things that I actually started to believe the excuses. I like to think of myself as brave but nothing could be further from the trust as least where my past actions are concerned. I’ve been a coward, I took others feeling for granted, I was selfish, I didn’t think about consequences. I could say I was young, which would be true and I could say I was blinded by love and again that would be true. I am thankful my story does not end here, although things may be true that does not mean they were right and decent. I have hoped and feared coming face to face with my past. Now that it is here, at times I feel frozen, scared to say or feel anything for fear that I will repeat past mistakes. Although God has always been a part of my life, the one big difference now is I do not want just part of me with God, I want, no I need all of me in God’s hands. I seek His will and not mine, but I am here to tell you that “Uncle Screwtape” has been working overtime this week, whispering things to try to break me, weaken me, distracting me from the truth. I allowed space and time to steal away precious time from connecting with God. In order for me to know God’s will for my life I have to be connected to God. All the wishing and hoping in the world can’t change the past, I will not be able to move forward until I can let go of the past. I keep trying to find some kind of logic and even search for hidden meanings in the past. The one and only thing I have control of is choosing to accept my role and take responsibility and learn from it. I can’t heal anyone but me, I can’t teach anyone else only learn the lessons for myself. As much as I want to help others I can be of no help until I help myself heal, help myself learn, forgive myself and most importantly “let it go…” Letting go does not make things disappear, it allows one to move forward, no longer to be stuck in a never-ending cycle of pain, guilt, and blame…that is not life God wants for any of us. I want to let go, God help me to let go…

Pride will have a fall. Those that are of a haughty spirit, that think of themselves above what is meet, and look with contempt upon others, that with their pride affront God and disquiet others, will be brought down, either by repentance or by ruin. It is the honour of God to humble the proud.

~Blessings and Peace~

References:
http://www.biblegateway.com

The Screwtape Letters by: C.S.Lewis