I read a devotional yesterday that made me do some serious soul-searching. It was from an app on my iPhone, (information is listed below). During the past few years I have experienced a wide variety of emotions that have been from mildly uncomfortable to deep despair wondering when it would all stop. I lost my mom unexpectedly, a 10 year love ended, started a new life alone and began a pilgrimage for the religion/faith of my youth. Well, it never stops, emotions are part of each of us, deny as we all have tried but they remain. I used to try to hide my (feelings) emotions, the only person I ever really fooled was myself. We all have a “tell” mine is my posture, expressions and my tone of voice. Pretty much everyone knows mine, in many ways I am thankful but to be honest it has been a pathetic scene at times. With God, no matter what we do or say, He knows our hearts nothing is ever truly hid from God. And, even then in our messiness of sin, God loves us and wants us to repent and ask for His forgiveness. Simple “NOTHING” compares to God’s unconditional love. Even if you only know a few stories from the Bible or if you have read it front to back, it is filled with stories of good people doing ridiculous things to not follow God’s will for their lives, running and hiding from God, but in the end they repent and God uses them for amazing purposes and their lives are make rich through their relationship with God. I often need reminded that God never promised only good days, His promise is, “He will never leave us or forsake us…” Hebrews 13:5. The past few days I have cried, prayed, agonized and stressed over issues that were and are out of my control but being human, doing what (we) humans do…I wanted to help. The single most important thing I could have done was simply to pray and put the matter in God’s hands; and although I did pray I somehow thought I could still do something more. At the end of the day, I was able to help due to some “tough love” of two very special people in my life they reminded me that by doing less you can absolutely accomplish more! You see “I” wanted to “be” the help and by doing that I was making the situation about me, not the person who needed help and I was wanting to take credit for something that only happened because of God, because of His great love, mercy and compassion; I did help, I opened a door and God used me and lots of others for the common good of us all collectively. I am not saying “we” human-beings can’t help and do great things, we do through the might and power of our Lord Jesus Christ. Today, was not my victory, it was God’s! I noticed that as soon as I took my eyes off of myself and others, refocused on God trusting in Him I felt a calmness come over me. As I mentioned earlier, I experienced some highs and lows today, I found myself crying uncontrollably at times and as I reflected I came face to face with a truth…I cannot remember the last time I shed a tear asking for forgiveness from God, I know I am sinful and I am sorry when I mess up but if I cry at things like Hallmark commercials, weddings, funerals, break-ups and make-ups then obviously my priorities are messed up, I am in need of a Savior and doesn’t He deserve more from me than “I’m sorry, I’ll try harder?” I have been blogging about “Faith” during the past month and God is revealing much truth to me and I am not ashamed to be a Christian and can you just imagine what our world would be like if our faith was merely the size of a “mustard seed?” WOW! Jesus said, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20 (NIV). I have a song that have been playing in my head while writing this; Mercy Me’s “I Can Only Imagine” a visionary song filled with lyrics of hope, peace, love and celebration. I also have a favorite saying and I have it posted on my front door, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you.” John 14:27.
~Blessings and Peace~
“I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!” (NLT) ( Revelation 3:15-16 )
What does it look like to be on fire for Christ? Does God see your faith as hot or cold, or worse, lukewarm? Are you thinking of ways you can impact God’s kingdom? Is your day filled with busyness or is it filled with purposefulness? Maybe it’s time to infuse some passion today.
Insights by Billy Graham from the book, “My Time with God”:
Before I can become wise, I must first realize that I am foolish. Before I can receive power, I must first confess I am powerless. I must lament my sins before I can rejoice in a Savior. Mourning, in God’s sequence, always comes before exultation. Blessed are those who mourn their unworthiness, their helplessness, and their inadequacy.
Isaiah, the mighty prophet of God, knew by experience that one must bow the knee in mourning before one can lift the voice of jubilation. When his sin appeared ugly and venomous in the bright light of God’s holiness, he said, “Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.” Isaiah 6:5
We cannot be satisfied with our goodness after beholding the holiness of God. But our mourning over our unworthiness and sinfulness should be of short duration, for God has said: “I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.” Isaiah 43:25
Isaiah had to experience the mourning of inadequacy before he could realize the joy of forgiveness…
In God’s economy, a person must go down into the valley of grief before he or she can scale the heights of spiritual glory. One must become tired and weary of living without Christ before he or she can seek and find fellowship. One must come to the end of “self” before one can really begin to live.
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