The Day

Here it is a little over one year later…I still think and miss my mom every single day. I have photos to remind me of precious memories. To be honest, I thought I would not recover from such a loss. I need only to close my eyes and I feel our last embrace, the usually hug & kiss goodbye…not knowing it would be the last. Even typing these words makes me cry because I loved her so much and wanted her to be able to finally slow down and enjoy life. My mom had worked from a very young age, dropping out of high school to apply to beauty college so she could help out at home with her ailing father. She did graduate and started her own salon which she operated for nearly forty years. As long as I can remember my mom worked 2 jobs as well as being a wife and mother, even at the time of her passing she was still working in her salon one or two days a week and working full-time for Wal-Mart Optical plus worked overtime nearly every week. From a worldly view, my family was not rich in the monetary sense but we had what money cannot buy, love! My mother taught me about life, respect and value in everything. My mother came from a large family where these traits were honored. I am so fortunate to have had a life experience that has included great-grandparents, grandparents, several aunts and uncles and countless cousins and second cousins, I have been blessed. For those who knew my mom, many loved her and even to those individuals that may not have embraced her, they respected her for the strong woman she was. My hope is she is in Heaven looking down with the proud “look” that parents have, as well as united with those she loved and had to say goodbye to here in this earthly existence. I thought it was interesting that my thoughts went to the writing below and upon looking at it, it was one year ago today I scribbled the words below while beginning my grief process. If anyone has ever experienced the loss of a loved one, grief is a process and is never the same for everyone…trust in your friends, family and your faith…God knows your pain and wants to comfort you.

The day I never wanted to come
That day has come and gone
The imagined loss and emptiness
Those feelings has settled in
A void that cannot be filled
How does one grieve such a loss
Not with time, family or friends
Such a loss with open wounds
Wounds that are felt more than seen
Pain that blocks all healing
Mourning that feels no relief
Just one more hug or embrace
One more I love you
No one can ease the pains of life
Nothing like a mothers love
Mom, I miss you
I miss you every day.

~July 28, 2012
@ 10:26pm