https://charlotteannrobinson.com/2017/11/18/dreams/
I experienced another dream recently and just today I confided in a friend about the content of that dream. A bit of background to set the stage, I was enjoying lunch with my friend and we were sharing with one another stories of our recent Thanksgiving activities. We had not been able to connect for the past few weeks and it was so relaxing to just interact and communicate face to face. As we were sharing with one another our conversation lead to a recent blog posts of mine and as we were talking I was reminded of a second dream since the first one I wrote about. As I mentioned in my earlier post, I do not know the meaning of dreams or what they might be composed of and for but nonetheless it moved me and took hold of my thoughts. Over the past few years I’ve had the distinct feeling that I am on a journey or at least preparing for a journey. I have tried to open myself to whatever God is leading me to as well as what God is leading me away from. I would be the first to say, “life is complicated.” I would also go on to say, “life is simple.” Both of these can be true, as sinful human beings we, yes “we” complicate things and at the very same time we can also see that life can be simple and clear. I would never say life is easy, it is definitely not easy and yet it can be lived with joy, zeal and love. God’s promises are true and His Words are healing, teaching, comforting, and life breathing. I use the word “simple” in regards to the teaching of the Bible, God has provided a step by step guide to be obedient, loving children of God. God goes into great detail explaining His love for each of us, He purposefully created each of us with specific gifts. Wow! How incredible is that(?). As far as dreams go, they are often about more than just the dream, allegories and metaphors for things. So, my first dream was about meeting someone who seemed to be destined to be part of my life, it felt intimate. It produced a sense of harmony and completeness like I’ve never felt before. I don’t recall seeing the person’s face in my dream, only their hair and oddly their eyes. Not so much a reflection of the eyes, more a sense of their soul. Now, with regards to my more recent dream it too left me feeling things I’ve missed and longed for. The dream takes place in a sparsely filled room, sitting at a round table, perhaps it’s a restaurant. I’m sitting at the table and sitting to my left is my mom, we were talking and all of a sudden my gaze went towards someone approaching our table and I seemed to have lost all consciousness of the moment because all my attention had been diverted to the person approaching. I can hear and feel my mom say with a smile, the smile that only a parent can produce when they know that their child is truly happy…she says, “That’s the One! I can just tell, I can see the love!” Then I wake from my dream…wanting to return to that place just to catch a glimpse of the one, of the love. I can’t even begin to try to describe the feeling of seeing my mom smile and be happy for me and optimistic for me, to be proud of me, she was joyfully happy. As for the “one” I’m not sure what any of it truly means and I’m putting my trust in God, maybe it means I’m ready to see what the future might hold for me, I’m a hopeless romantic and love happy endings. Perhaps the “one” is a newer version of myself, self-discovery towards a journey for God or meeting my soul mate that God created just for me(?). The first step to any of this is giving God control, trusting in His Will. There is one lesson I am trying to accept and learn, moving forward can only be successful when we let go of things that keep us in the past. Often I feel overwhelmed because I have one hand on the future and one hand on the past, creating an emotional tug-a-war! I recently talked about this in my blog entitled “Emotional Cleaning” and I explained the acceptance that things can be “true” and “not true” just because something is not true now doesn’t mean it wasn’t true at the time it was said or written.  I came to this realization when I was sifting through old birthday cards and old scrapbooks, reading old love letters and promise that were made and knowing that things are vastly different now. I was initially hurt because the words were not true or not true today, how unfair I was being to myself and to those memories.  Those things were true at the time the cards and letters were written, I’m choosing to be thankful for the happy memories and mindful of where they belong, in the past. They will not go away if I simply let go of holding onto them. Just as one of my favorite poems says, “…some leave footprints on our hearts…”. People are guided into our lives when we need them, and when they have fulfilled their purpose, they will move onto the next person who needs them. This way of thinking has not been an easy task for me, it wasn’t until I realized that I’ve had a lifetime of these experiences of unique and special individuals being a part of my life when I needed them the most.  I challenge myself and you to choose to be happy they were and are a part of our life story, not sad because they had to move on.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
Matthew 6:25-27 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Matthew%206:25-27&version=NIV
“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:12-13 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Jeremiah%2029:12-13&version=NIV

~Blessings and Peace~

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.”
Psalm 107:1

Happy Thanksgiving to you! This day is a day of celebration, family and a meal shared with family and friends. As a Christian it is also a day to thank God for all His gifts and to sincerely recognize who we belong to and to share the love of God with others. As I am writing this I am thinking about past Thanksgiving gatherings with my family, as a kid it was looking forward to spending the day with aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents. The aroma of homemade foods lingering in the air and sneaking a taste of icing on a cake when no one was looking. It seemed every year my grandfather would always ask me to say Grace, I often felt it wasn’t fair that he never ask anyone else to say the blessing. Today, I am ever so thankful I was given that responsibility. Every year our family would use the local Lodge Hall for our Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. It was an old wooden building that had creaky, slated floors and a bit of a cold draft in the winter. There was an old upright piano in one corner, none of us played but that didn’t keep us from banging on the keys. Those tradition faded as individual families began growing and children growing-up, and grandparents passed away. My family continued the Thanksgiving day meal with as many of us that could make it, my mom was always up before dawn making preparations for a feast. Homemade sage dressing, homemade yeast rolls, delicious chocolate sheet cake, green bean casserole, Turkey, scalloped corn, candied yams, deviled eggs, dad’s special oyster dressing and jellied cranberry to name a few(!). Things slowly change over time, not planned, it just happens. Families grow, marriages happen, children happen, loved ones pass away and before you know it traditions change again. My family continues the tradition of sharing a meal, the faces around the table changes from time to time but the purpose remains constant, being “thankful” for all the things we enjoy from year to year, watching families grow and remember those who are no longer with us and all the joy they gave us. My prayer is for God’s Love to be shared today with everyone around you. If you are alone, know that you are never alone, God is always with you. I am planning on striving for intentionality today to be thankful for everything and to be intentional in what I am asking God for. Often I find myself at prayer time asking God for things almost immediately when I pray and I usually gasp a little and tell myself, “Seriously…after all the things that God provided for me today…I start by asking for more(?)…I then readjust my thought process and specifically name the things that got me through the day because God was with me and provided. When was the last time you thanked God for clean drinking water(?) for shelter (?) for clothing (?)… I am so blessed and sometimes I forget just how blessed I am. My life is not perfect, I don’t always get things to go my way, I’m not rich, financially that is but I am rich is the saving grace of God. I have tough days, I get upset and angry at times, I sometimes get disappointed by people and things and yet with all these things “I AM BLESSED BEYOND IMAGINATION BECAUSE GOD LOVES ME AND WANTS ME IN HIS KINGDOM!” Wherever you are today and whatever you are doing this day, know this for certain…God Loves You!

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6 – https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=John%2014:6&version=NIV

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17 – https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Zephaniah%203:17&version=NIV

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.
John 15:9-17 – https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=John%2015:9-17&version=NIV

~Blessings and Peace~

Dreams, we all have them, some we remember and others quickly fade. Dreams can be happy, sad, scary, and odd to list a few. The dictionary offers the follow:

Dream
noun, often attributive\ˈdrēm\
often attributive
1: a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep had a dream about climbing a mountain gives me bad dreams — compare rem sleep
2: an experience of waking life having the characteristics of a dream: such as
a : a visionary creation of the imagination :daydream the dreams of her youth
b : a state of mind marked by abstraction or release from reality : reverie walking around in a dream
c : an object seen in a dreamlike state : vision a man that was her dream come true
3: something notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality the new car is a dream to operate
4a : a strongly desired goal or purpose a dream of becoming president
b : something that fully satisfies a wish : ideal a meal that was a gourmet’s dream

I am not expert on dreaming nor do I have any answers for why we dream or anything else about dreams. I had a dream and I am writing about it and wanted to share it. It was only a dream and it could be my unconscious shedding some light on an area I have been avoiding, it might be something I should pursue or at least be open to. Whatever the reason, waking up feeling loved is always a good thing in my book. Perhaps my mind is just reminding me that I am loved and I do try to love others. Isn’t that what this life is really about (?) LOVING AND BEING LOVED. God tells us over and over in the Bible that we are loved and that we are to love others!

“We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” ~1 John 4:19-21https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1%20John%204:19-21&version=NIV

“One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” ~Matthew 22:35-40https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Matthew%2022:35-40&version=NIV

*“The question of whether dreams actually have a physiological, biological or psychological function has yet to be answered.”

*“There are several theories as to why we dream. One is that dreams work hand in hand with sleep to help the brain sort through everything it collects during the waking hours.”

*“During sleep, the brain works to plow through all of this information to decide what to hang on to and what to forget. Some researchers feel like dreams play a role in this process.”

*Excerpt from:

https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/why-do-we-dream.htm

This was my dream:
I dreamed about you last night, you were as real as the sun and the moon and just beyond my reach. Through all that distance I could feel the essence of your soul, I felt your confidence and your compassion, a welcoming smile for a tired and seeking soul. I was overcome with a warmth that engulfed me and gravity seemed to be more of a choice rather than a reality. I know somehow we are destined to meet; I am meant to love you and more importantly you are meant to love me. My heart is filled to epic proportions and as the day breaks into my consciousness and tries to awaken me from my slumber, all I want to do is fall back into the free feeling of you, my dream and I am content to breathe you in and to marvel at your presence. The waking hours eventually win out and as my day continues I am battling with my mind to keep the thoughts of you alive and to not have you fade into the familiar, a hazy memory. I want to remember, I want to relive the feelings and to recall everything about you from your hair blowing in the breeze, to your eyes that seem to penetrate my guarded soul. As I am preparing for sleep once again, I am wishing and hoping we will meet again very soon. Until that day comes, when we are face to face, I will look for you in my dreams. ~Good Night-Sweet Dreams~

I was searching for a song and video to share with you that somehow expressed my thoughts and God lead me to this one. It speaks volumes about what “we” allow the world to tell us about ourselves, all the lies and doubts. This blog started out as something very different from what I usually write about but I had an urgency on my heart to share it. At first I thought it was my dream that I needed to share and perhaps it is to some degree. Dreams are a lot like goals, we can see where we want to be but we have a lot of distance to cover to get there. This video reminded me that our dreams can become reality when we seek God first and ask for His guidance and blessings. My dream made me feel wanted and loved, the reality of that is this…I AM LOVED! God has blessed me far beyond my imagination. I am so thankful for everything God as provided. I’m not giving up on my dream just trusting in God’s plan and I know this for sure, sleeping and chasing dreams in my sleep will not magically make dreams come true. My prayer is that God blesses you in a special and unique way today!

~Blessings and Peace~

http://bravegirlsclub.com/

http://bravegirlsclub.com/archives/34338

I just had to share the latest post from Brave Girls Club.  God is GOOD, GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD!  I had just posted my most recent blog and I decided to check my email and the latest post from BGC had been delivered, as I began to read it my heart was overwhelmed at God’s timing.  I’m thankful for this wonderful website and if you haven’t heard of it or read any of their posts I recommend giving it a try.  I was introduced to it by a very dear and trusted friend and I am grateful every single time I read it and it seems to be written especially for just me!  I am simply posting and promoting their site:

http://bravegirlsclub.com/archives/34338

~Blessings and Peace~

Today I decided to tackle a project that I have been postponing for far longer than I want to admit. Things were going very well, a stack of trash, a stack of shred and then the unexpected. Things that I had just pushed aside and stacked away, choosing avoidance of things…old birthday cards, photos of friends and family that have passed away, letters and notes from friends and ex-lovers. I paused for a moment, then I began reading the cards, notes and letters…talk about an emotional overload! So, I did what comes naturally…do something else, anything, so I laid the items down and walked away from them. I decided that I needed to allow myself the time and space to view this situation for what it is and not what it was. I have wonderful memories of all these people, places and things and in my memories is where they will serve me best. I know and I have experienced the devastation of wanting to go back in time, to ask the questions of why and why not and I can tell you that these thoughts ultimately will lead to dark and murky thoughts and will only serve to cause more pain. I was recently ask, if I could go back in time and change something, what would it be? My most truthful answer was “nothing.” I am seeking to fully accept that I am the person I am today in spite and because of all my yesterdays. I’ve gained a lot of patience and humility over the past few years and the most important lesson I’ve learned is that things rarely go according to the plan. Time is a variable that tics away and is never measured exactly the same way from person to person and/or from situation to situation. Life’s lesson, I have found to be more like an outline for rules instead of play by-play rules.  Grief is a good example, everyone will experience grief at some point in life; the stages of grief are the same for everyone but not everyone experiences them in the same order or in the same time frame but make no mistake each stage will be experienced.  Additionally, grief comes in all shapes and sizes; plus depending upon everything else happening in and around you at the moment grief pays a visit, no two people respond to it in the same manner. It was important to me to share this grief information because my “emotional cleaning” has everything to do with grief and I have decided I no longer want to be emotionally chained to the grief of what was and no longer is. My mom passed away over 5 years ago, I think about her everyday, not on purpose and yet I’m thankful for the moments of joy my memories provide. I miss her and I have gained more than I lost when she died. I am stronger because I more fully understand her strength and resolve for life; I display more patience than I ever could have hoped for because she was steadfast and committed to her family and friends; I am more confident and courageous because all these things remain true about who my mother was and continues to be. My mom lives on within my heart and soul. I also experienced a relationship break-up over 9 years ago, I mention this for two reasons, the first being it had been a long relationship and secondly because I’ve recently started seeing life in the “present” the here and now, which has helped to pave the way for me to do some “Emotional Cleaning.” As I was going through the old cards and letters, I found myself being drawn back in time, reading the words as if for the first time. Then, my mind quickly adjusts to the present and I felt betrayed by the words I was reading,  I took a deep breath and put the cards and letters aside. Then it hit me!!! I’ve been missing the point and searching for answers that do not exist. The words weren’t betraying me or what was, the words were absolutely true, when they were written. I’ve been wanting to find blame, find the cause and why things happened the way they did.  I am now choosing to see things as they are, people change and things change, there’s a reason for all things the Bible tells us, although the reason may not be clear for a while.  Over time people change, sometimes going in the same direction and others times in the opposite direction; change is inevitable.  In this situation, grief has taught me that life is a forward movement for everyone but often our destinations vary. I am no longer going to allow time to taint my memories, I’m not happy with a lot of my life choices and I’m not going to be defined by my mistakes.  I am choosing to learn from my them and to make better choices. Grief is not about being sad, it teaches us about ourselves and our capabilities. I have many people to thank for being helping me be able to see life so differently than I did a decade or so ago.  I can’t mention them all by name because I have no doubt, I would inevitably forget someone. I do want to personally recognize thank two mental health experts for their time and support; a member of the clergy and a trusted friend who taught me humility and trust through their actions, not through words and lastly a coworker whose constant support and moral fiber challenge me to be a better person today than I was yesterday.  None of this would be possible without the love of Jesus Christ! God has never wavered in His love for me and I promise you, He loves you just as much! I pray that you already know Him in a personal way, as your Lord and Savior. If you don’t, please accept this invitation to accept Him today, right now. All you need to do is believe in God and ask Him to be your Lord. Amen.

Life is tough sometimes but it is so worth it when we rely on God to lead us.

Ecclesiastes 3:1.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens;”

Proverbs 3:5
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;”

The Five Stages of Grief
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
“These are the framework that makes up our learning to live with loss. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. Not everyone goes through all of them or in a prescribed order…remember your grief is as unique as you are.” ~David Kessler (GRIEF.COM) BECAUSE LOVE NEVER DIES
https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” ~John 1:1

“My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” ~Psalm 121

~Blessings and Peace~

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
~Ecclesiastes 3:1

“To focus solely on endings is to trade conclusions for the very beginnings that created them. And if this cycle should persist, we will likewise miss the beginning that will follow this ending.”
~Craig D. Lounsbrough

The Cycle of Life, what is it and do I really have to participate. (?).  I recently had the opportunity to share some of my thoughts as they related to the passing of my mom in 2012. Back then I thought I had the whole cycle of life, the part about being born and the dying figured out but I was absolutely not prepared nor did I understand the reality of it all, losing my mom was a BIG deal. My thoughts have been filled with memories of my mom for many reasons lately and my hope is someone will benefit from what I am sharing. My mom was only 65 when we suddenly lost her. My last memory of her is saying goodbye and hugging her as she and my family left my home to drive an hour to their home. It was a Wednesday afternoon and I got the call at 3:22am on that Friday saying she had passed. It was very surreal, life seemed to be in slow motion for several hours, even days that followed. My dad and my brother were present at her passing and their last memories of her are quite different from mine. It would be 3 more days before I could say goodbye at the funeral. I frequently visit her gravesite and tell her that I love her and that I miss her. Over time I’ve cone to embrace and live into the sadness and moved towards acceptance. I know the grave only holds the body and that her spirit is with God; however, it feels intimate and peaceful when I visit her there. It is so true what the professions say about the stages of grief; one must live into them, let the emotions take root and wrestle with them. In time you will be glad you did. Grief is not something that goes away but you can learn to accept it and live into the emotions that surface.

The 5 Stages of Grief:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
These are all part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.

So, here I am in 2017…I absolutely still miss my mom and some of the best and most difficult lessons in life have happened during these past 5 years. I believe in the divine power of God and just as the verse I posted at the beginning of this post says, “There’s a time for everything…” I’ve grown and matured beyond my own expectations as I have traversed through life without my mom. It was through her absence that I was able to see the miraculous woman that she was. I’ll never forgot the words that her boss said at her memorial service, “Not everyone liked Shirley, but everyone respected her.”  Wow!  I was blessed to have her as my mom. I am equally blessed to have a loving and caring dad and brother, our relationships have grown as we have lived into our grief and knowing that life doesn’t stop just because we want it to. My mom’s birthday is this Saturday, the 23rd, she would have been 71. I’ll be having good thoughts of her on that day.

Today, as I was driving and doing errands I received an unexpected call from my brother, he wanted to share his delight in becoming a grandpa this week on the 18th! And that makes me a Great-Aunt, Woo Hoo! His voice was pure delight to my ears, he’s already planning fishing trips with his grandson. Better yet, my dad is a great-grand-dad, how awesome it that! There were a few tears in our conversation wishing mom could share in this beautiful new life that has been a blessed gift and has tightened the family fibers that had worn thin through the years. God is doing amazing things within our family and I am in AWE! There’s renewed family ties, siblings and step-parents, grand-parents, it’s all simply beautiful. All this because of a baby boy! God is good, GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD! The only wish my mom ever really wanted was for her family and her children to be happy. She had generous heart and soul, she was honest, ethical and above all she was authentic. I reminded my brother of these truths and told him she would be extremely happy and proud of him and all of our family.
~Blessings and Peace~

 

 

 

Recently, I had a conversation about “JOY” and I imagined a completely different view of joy based upon biblical statements that seem to be in direct opposition of what I learned as a child in Sunday school. Did any of you remember learning what the acronym J O Y meant?

J=Jesus (1st)
O=Others (2nd)
Y=Yourself (Last)

By definition the word ” JOY” describes an emotion of well-being or good fortune; the expression of an emotion; a state of happiness; or a cause of delight. Depending on your religious views or beliefs it nay evoke thoughts of Christmas songs and celebrations. The vertical acronym J O Y was explained to me as a child in Sunday School. My all-time favorite teacher Roberta “Birdie.” J=Jesus; O=Others; Y=Yourself. The fundamental principle was to teach us to recognize that Jesus/God created us and we were created to serve Him; secondly, we should carefully consider “Others” before ourselves, as to not be prideful and to be respectful of all “others; and lastly, only after we have shown care, love and respect to “Jesus” and “Others,” then we could care, love and have respect for ourselves. As it was taught using a vertical structure to emphasize the hierarchy.
J=Jesus
O=Others
Y=Yourself

What if,…we allow ourselves to look at J O Y from horizontal view(?).

Jesus, Others, and Yourself

Does it change how we treat others and the order in which we do? I believe the answer is yes. I definitely don’t believe my Sunday school teacher intentionally taught me to think less of myself by being last on the list, instead it was presented as a guide to take others into consideration and think about how we treat others and it was a great way to teach the basic teachings of the bible.

So looking at J O Y horizontally it takes away the sense that others are more worthy than ourselves, the New Testament specifically tells us that we are to love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus uses the word “as”  NOT “before or first.” Jesus loves all people, just as Jesus died for all sinners and He has redeemed all sin. There’s not big sin and little sin, it’s all sin. God’s Love is love enough for all. In fact, Jesus left Heaven to be born human and lived among us, teaching and loving everyone. So, if we tilt our heads and see J O Y horizontally there is overwhelming love/joy for everyone.

Mark 12:28-31 “One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
~Blessings and Peace~

Are you living or existing? Are you working to make a living? Are you existing to live? Are you living to exist?

Odd questions with perplexing answers. Most of us would agree that we work so that we can live the life we choose. We work so we can enjoy the fruits of our labor, whatever they might be. We also work to provide a constant income for food, shelter, transportation and other life essentials.

A deeper question might be, why this job? How did I get here and do I even like it? Job by mere definition is (1) the work that a person does regularly in order to earn money; (2) a duty, task, or function that someone or something has; (3) something that requires very great effort. The first thing that pops out me to is that there is no mention of someone’s like or dislike to perform a job. Data does show that people performing jobs they like are more apt to perform at higher levels; however, that is not the only motivating factor. Reasons why individuals work jobs and stay for periods of time vary greatly depending on their specific needs at the time. I can only offer my own experiences as evidence regarding the subject matter of existing or living, my hope is to provide a small piece of insight to someone who might be asking the question.

I have spent four decades working a variety of jobs, it has at times been educational, humiliating, rewarding, painful, and repetitive along the way. Each job prepared me for the next, though I did not realize that at the time. Sometimes when we are young we have a clear picture in our minds of what we want to do with our lives, the exact profession we want to pursue and sometimes it’s a work in progress. There’s no right answers but more importantly there’s no wrong answers. It’s all part of the learning process. I’m reminded of my senior year in college, my last hurdle before graduation was to complete my student teaching in order to receive my teaching credentials. I was terrified, I didn’t think I could do it. Facing middle school kids and high school students in the gymnasium…I thought I would literally die! I was blessed with wonderful students and extremely patient and caring mentors that helped me succeed. One thing that I can say now and believe with every part of my being is this…Life is hard! Not impossible! But hard. As I look back on the jobs I have done I can honestly say I’ve learned so much more than the skills to do them, I’ve learned about myself and that’s the best part. My career choice looks vastly different from its humble beginning and I couldn’t be happier about that. My teaching degree has helped me in ways I never imagined possible and my career path is filled with detours, stops and starts and I am so grateful for all of it. Looking back I can see that I existed and more importantly I can see I lived. I recently heard someone say, “you can’t live in the past.” True enough, the same is true about the future. We only have today, yesterday is a memory and tomorrow a dream, always a day away. Don’t settle for either living or existing, you can have both by living in the present…

When we shed the pretenses of who we are and what others expect from us we are the truest form of ourselves. Life is hard and life is short, be the best you, you can be. Happiness comes from within, no one can give it to you and you do not have the power to make someone else happy. Do yourself a favor today, choose happiness for yourself.

My prayer is that you know you are alive and worthy of love and happiness. As I said no one can give you happiness, I know someone who can give you more than happiness, Jesus can give you life eternal. Jesus loves you! Amen.
“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.“Romans 10:9-10

Ulysses
“…It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
~By Alfred Lord Tennyson

~Blessings and Peace~

Psalm 139:13-16 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Fifty-three years and nine months ago today, I was being created. I wish my mom were here to celebrate with me, she’s been gone five years, one month and thirty-eight days…I miss her laugh, the most. Today, I will be attending my moms family reunion, “The Sanders Family Reunion” at Turkey Run State Park. I am looking forward to seeing aunts and uncles, first cousins, second cousins…etc. We will reminisce about those who are no longer with us, but celebrate their spirit that lives on within our hearts. I will be missing my moms homemade macaroni salad, homemade mac & cheese, and homemade chocolate sheet cake! Then, there’s grandmas homemade chicken & noodles and mashed potatoes…I think I’ve gained weight just thinking about all these wonderful treats from the past. These are my memories and I will always cherish them but there’s room for new favorites prepared by the next generation of “Sanders” and we will create new memories today. I am reminded of a wonderful movie I saw called “The Book of Life” although the movie is about Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead), a holiday that celebrates those who have passed, its message can be celebrated anytime because when we remember those we love that have passed, they remain alive in our hearts. Life is short even for those who live to be in their eighties or nineties, and beyond, embrace life, share love and kindness and you will always be remembered by those who knew you. Time flies, I am fifty-three…(long sigh…) I do not know what I’m supposed to be feeling, I look in the mirror and it’s the same face I’ve been looking at for as long as I can remember. Sure, there’s wrinkles and lines, gray hair shining through and my body is bit more stiff than I choose to admit, but I feel that time has passed too quickly. Time is still measured at twenty-four hours in a day, how is it that my mind has trouble with that knowledge because I remember things so vividly like they just happened the other day.  Such as my sixteenth birthday, I really wanted a cake with yellow roses on it, my mom made it happen, I got a cake with yellow roses! HaHa! I remember wanted to be a professional softball player when I was in high school, before that was even a thing. Graduating from high school and being the first in my family to go away to college, what an adventure that was. My first job after college was coaching and teaching, the money was not great in fact it wasn’t even good money but the memories were and are priceless. I’ve experienced life in many different ways and I’ve experienced good things and bad, all have helped to mold me into the person I am today. I come from along list of strong and confident women, “Sanders” women! This day may be my birthday but it’s so much more than just about me, if it weren’t for my mom and the lessons she learned from her mom, and so on, back in time, I would not be the person I am today. I am proud to be the daughter of Shirley (Peach) Lee Sanders Robinson and the granddaughter of Betty Jo Corey Sanders Nelson. I am blessed.

“The world keeps spinning, and the tales keep turning, and people come and people go, but they’re never forgotten. And the one truth we know, it held true one more time… That love, true love, the really, really good kind of love never dies.” ~”The Book of Life” movie quote.

“All of these families have lost someone, but as long as we remember them, we can feel their presence with us for one night each year.” ~”The Book of Life” movie quote.

~Blessings and Peace~

She greets life daily with a smile and friendly gestures. To assume she’s faking would be a dire mistake. She loves to meet people and share in their day, it’s like oxygen to her lungs. She is generous and kind, energized by the diversity of people who bring sunshine into her life. She sees herself quite simple and extremely blessed. She knows that she has way more than most people dream of having, she is conscientious of her privilege and does not think herself better than others. She is curious about life and the meaning of it all. She strives to understand the universe and it’s vastness. She has faith in God, the Creator of Heaven and earth. She seeks to live into the purpose of her life that was prepared and planned by God, Himself. This seems as good a place as any to pause and ask the question, “troubled, tortured soul?” She confides in only a few, as if it’s a deadly devastating thing to be “troubled and tortured” her words not mine, and I am cautious to not question and be supportive. She wants to be, to do, she sees value in others so easily and when she looks at her own reflection, misses the beauty that others notice straight away. I failed to mention that she is smart and articulate, competitive and gracious, funny and light-hearted. On the surface she is brave and confident, just beneath the surface self-doubt starts sniffing about to find remnants of faults and fears from long ago. She keeps these at bay because she’s learned the craftiness of their ways over the years and most days she knocks the wind from their soaring sails and sends them to lonely shores filled with the wreckage of ships on a collision course of defeat. She sees the glass half full sometimes and half empty at other times. The timing of life’s experiences changes which she sees first which guides her decisions. If she were to seek advice from me, I would say to her…it matters not which comes first, half full or half empty, it only matters the path you choose to take once all the facts are known. There’s no such thing as a “perfect” life. If not for doubts and defeats, we would not know the sensation of courage and victory. I would also share this with her, treat yourself with the same respect that you so freely give to others. A troubled and tortured soul perhaps, but the joys of knowing the opposite is the reward in itself!  “A life that is planned is a closed life, my friend. It can be endured but it cannot be lived.” ~
The Inn of the Sixth Happiness, 1958

~Blessings and Peace~