A Troubled and Tortured Soul

She greets life daily with a smile and friendly gestures. To assume she’s faking would be a dire mistake. She loves to meet people and share in their day, it’s like oxygen to her lungs. She is generous and kind, energized by the diversity of people who bring sunshine into her life. She sees herself quite simple and extremely blessed. She knows that she has way more than most people dream of having, she is conscientious of her privilege and does not think herself better than others. She is curious about life and the meaning of it all. She strives to understand the universe and it’s vastness. She has faith in God, the Creator of Heaven and earth. She seeks to live into the purpose of her life that was prepared and planned by God, Himself. This seems as good a place as any to pause and ask the question, “troubled, tortured soul?” She confides in only a few, as if it’s a deadly devastating thing to be “troubled and tortured” her words not mine, and I am cautious to not question and be supportive. She wants to be, to do, she sees value in others so easily and when she looks at her own reflection, misses the beauty that others notice straight away. I failed to mention that she is smart and articulate, competitive and gracious, funny and light-hearted. On the surface she is brave and confident, just beneath the surface self-doubt starts sniffing about to find remnants of faults and fears from long ago. She keeps these at bay because she’s learned the craftiness of their ways over the years and most days she knocks the wind from their soaring sails and sends them to lonely shores filled with the wreckage of ships on a collision course of defeat. She sees the glass half full sometimes and half empty at other times. The timing of life’s experiences changes which she sees first which guides her decisions. If she were to seek advice from me, I would say to her…it matters not which comes first, half full or half empty, it only matters the path you choose to take once all the facts are known. There’s no such thing as a “perfect” life. If not for doubts and defeats, we would not know the sensation of courage and victory. I would also share this with her, treat yourself with the same respect that you so freely give to others. A troubled and tortured soul perhaps, but the joys of knowing the opposite is the reward in itself!  “A life that is planned is a closed life, my friend. It can be endured but it cannot be lived.” ~
The Inn of the Sixth Happiness, 1958

~Blessings and Peace~