My church is doing a “Communion with God Prayer Vigil” it started April 11th s at 11am (EST) going through April 12th at 11am Participants were asked to connect with God through meditation, reading, or writing for 30 minutes. I have chosen to try to bring all three aspects into my selected time of 1am-1:30am (EST) on April 12th.  I am preparing by starting this blog entry. I will be reading Matthew 12 and looking at the lessons Jesus is teaching throughout the chapter, followed by mediating on the words Jesus provided to His followers and the many people who came to listen and be spiritually fed. The chapter starts out proclaiming Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath in verses 1-14; then starting with verse 15 we read the words from Isaiah the prophet proclaiming “God’s Chosen Servant”; starting in verse 22, we see the Pharisees making claims that Jesus is Beelzebub. Then, Jesus says to all that were present “that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” The starting in verse 38, the Pharisees are wanting Jesus to show them a sign, so that they would believe, Jesus replied with a lengthy answer verses 38 through 45; then 46 through the end of the chapter Jesus speaks regarding His mother and brothers; asking who is my mother and brothers?  We  are all Jesus’ family, we were and are His creation. Matthew 12 covers many items ranging from Jesus being foretold of and prophesied in the Old Testament by the prophet Isaiah, to sharing the meaning of “The Sabbath”; the fulfillment of the scriptures and final judgment for our individual offenses. It is a difficult task to grasp everything that is mentioned in Matthew 12, I am not a bible scholar and I am not trying to give any great insights or commentary but what I can do is share my personal thoughts and challenge you to pursue your own thoughts and feelings. There’s no better time than the Easter season to read and reflect on Jesus’ ministry to include His life, death and resurrection. It is a painful story to take in because of the terrible suffering Jesus endured, not for any other reason than His unending and unfailing love for each and every person ever or to be born. We are all uniquely created by God and even more miraculously, we all have individual and very personal purposes. So rightly so, your birth is a grand celebration of your divine creation! Psalm 139:13-15 “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.” If you are hungry for nourishment that can feed the soul and provide everlasting fulfillment, it is here for you, Jesus is the way, the truth and the life!  As you might be preparing for communion during this Lenten season, pause and visualize the bread and wine, Jesus body broken for YOU and the innocent blood He shed for the forgiveness of YOUR sins.  I encourage you to pray the Lord’s Prayer with me, feel God’s arms surrounding you…Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, Forever and ever. Amen.

~Blessings and Peace~

From personal experience I can say whenever I’ve been really ill my first cries for help and comfort are for my mom. There’s nothing that compares to a mothers touch or someone who represents that special and unique characteristic where we feel pure love. My mom is no longer able to provide care to her loved ones because she passed away two years ago, but just because she’s gone the yearning continues. At this very moment I am sitting in a hospital room keeping watch over my father who is recovering from surgery and has had a couple of rough days. It was a feeling of total exhaustion being helpless in providing a mothers touch and in this case, a spouses comfort. This morning I witnessed my father crying out for his wife of nearly forty-nine years, as I saw my father wanting the strength and love of his life partner. I too, found myself wishing she were here to help. I know I can not fill my mothers shoes as the matriarch of our family, nor do I want to try but I am trying to be the kind of woman she raised me to be. I am learning and experiencing many “life” lessons and honestly I’m overwhelmed at times. I was reminded today through an email from one of my favorite websites called “bravegirlsclub.com” I need to be me, the person I dreamed of becoming when I was a child, the person I was raised and mentored to be. I will always be my parents daughter, and they too were and are their parents daughter and son. I haven’t experienced or even dreamed of being what my parents dreamed or wished I would have become or pursued and you know what? They loved me all the same, probably even more than I have ever really given them credit for. I may not be my dads mother or wife but I can love him like no one else, the love that only a daughter can give. I pray that God grants me the wisdom and opportunity to express this love for him and to him.  I am sensing the full circle of love and life plus experiencing it with a renewed appreciation. My prayer is that you recognize the circles of love in your lives and to broaden your views to include what it looks and feels like to yearn and ache for the one pure love in your life. I am also praying and asking you to be even bolder and recognize this love on an even higher plain, to see how much more our creator, God…loves us, and that He suffered the loss of His Son, Jesus who took on sin to atone for our sins so that we could be cleansed and renewed in His perfect pure love. Tell those special individuals in your life how much you love them.

~Blessing and Peace~

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

Today, I experienced a church service unlike any I have had the opportunity to participate in. The service was broken into five different stations which included: Labyrinth, Communion; Stewardship; Praying in Color and Taize. Although, I have experienced each of these individually, I had never experienced them all in a single service. Each station was a seven minute mini-service; each station had a designated leader to maintain the focus. I found the experience inviting and thought-provoking but left me wanting more, which may have been the anticipated outcome. In preparation for Easter, each station was designed for individual moments leading to a movement in celebration for the precious gift given freely to each of us through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I hope you find the information on here helpful and I pray that you experience Christ in a very real way during this Easter Celebration. Psalm 46:10 (NRSV) “Be still, and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations; I am exalted in the earth.”

Labyrinth: It is an ancient symbol that relates to wholeness. It combines the imagery of the circle and the spiral into a meandering but purposeful path. The Labyrinth represents a journey to our own center and back again out into the world. Labyrinths have long been used as meditation and prayer tools. Labyrinth has only one path. The way in is the way out. There are no blind alleys. The path leads you on a circuitous path to the center and out again. A labyrinth is a right brain task. It involves intuition, creativity, and imagery. With a maze many choices must be made and an active mind is needed to solve the problem of finding the center. With a labyrinth there is only one choice to be made. The choice is to enter or not. A more passive, receptive mindset is needed. The choice is whether or not to walk a spiritual path.

Communion: It is an intimate personal interaction between you and God; a relationship, especially one in which something is communicated or shared; a religious group with common faith: a religious group with its own set of beliefs and practices, especially a Christian denomination.  Sharing in the The Lord’s Supper as He did with his Disciples.

Stewardship: It applies to everything we have been given. Our time, our money, our God-given gifts and abilities, our influence, it all comes from God.

Praying in Color: To be honest, all I can share it what we actually did today. We used coffee filters, flattened out, using a permanent marker and wrote words describing prayers; i.e. hope, friends, love, peace…and then using food coloring drop single drops onto the filter which makes a tie-die effect. I do have good news, after looking on the web I found a great website called “Praying in Color.” I hope you try it, I found it therapeutic and a strong visual for my feelings.

Taize: It is an ecumenical sung and silent participatory prayer service designed to achieve a contemplative state through music, song and silence. Taize worship can be short chants, repeated again and again, give it a meditative character with a brief introduction printed in the paperback songbook. Using just a few words, [the chants] express a basic reality of faith, quickly grasped by the mind. As the words are sung over many times, this reality gradually penetrates the whole being.

~Blessings and Peace~

References:

http://www.lessons4living.com/labyrinth.htm

http://www.biblegateway.com

http://prayingincolor.com

http://www.lighthousetrailsresearch.com/taize.htm

Bing Dictionary

Psalm 86:2-7 (NIV) “Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save your servant who trusts in you.You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you. You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Hear my prayer, Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me.” I was reluctant to start my devotional tonight, I had a long and busy day at work. I also found out I did not get the promotion I had applied for which left me not feeling bad but also not happy. I had secretly been hoping one of two very close coworkers would have gotten the “nod” it was not to be the case. What most of us in the office had suspected would happen, did indeed happen. So no surprises by anyone, I truly believe it was just an elaborate facade to even open the position to everyone eligible because the one “squeaky wheel” in the group was selected in the end. I am in no way saying the person isn’t qualified, every single person that applied in my opinion was qualified in that we all perform the same duties with the same expectations just some of us have had more opportunities for a success rate. So, at the end of the day…I ask myself, am I happy? Do I have purpose? Do I make a difference? I can honestly reply to all with an astounding YES! I do not need an acronym added to my name, nor do I need added job responsibilities or even accolades from my superiors. What I do need and desire is to purposely make a difference in being the best “me” I can be in representing my company and my values. My original thoughts prior to reading the verses above was to throw some political rhetoric about rights and respect, blah…blah…blah! I am choosing to share God’s message and not mine. At the end of your day if you can answer yes to the three questions I posed…it’s been a good day! Life is more than job titles and more money, money and power can do lots of things but there’s two things it will NEVER do…it will not and cannot make you truly happy and it will not get your soul into Heaven. The price for entry into Heaven has been paid in full by Jesus Christ. Amen! My you find comfort and strength in these verses. Psalm 86:2-7 (NIV) “Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save your servant who trusts in you.You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you. You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Hear my prayer, Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me.” ~Blessings and Peace~

Some things in life are just unimaginable while other things are just so dreadful one runs to escape the images.  I do not know what the future may hold but I know whatever it may be I absolutely want, no need to have my Lord and Savior with me.  Philippians 4:13…”I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.”  Love is kind, love is when your heart is breaking  and you still feel and want to love even more. O God, show me your ways, not mine.  O God, take my brokenness and make me whole. I find no comfort to soothe the aches that consume me, only you can heal my wounds.  God I love you and ask for guidance and most especially bless and keep my dad and my brother near you, as you are caring for my mother who is in Heaven with you.  You are my rock and my salvation. Amen.

~Blessing and Peace, to All~

God, I know you had plans for me and that you have plans for me.  Long before I was even born, you knew me and you created every part of my being.  I know nothing that is, just happened.  Everything, every minute detail was designed by you for your glory.  As I grow older and hopefully wiser, my view of the world has changed dramatically, typical when I was younger I saw the world around me to be free and full of opportunities to make a name for myself.  Now, years later there’s still freedom and opportunities but I do not have a burning desire to “puff” myself up to be something I am not.  I was thinking that life has grown more difficult with my age and life experiences but the truth is it’s not easier or harder, life’s lesson’s we must learn and endure are quite elementary.  Take cheating, compared from say the 1940’s or ’50’s to now in 2014.  The emotions one experiences would be the same, the moral fabric if you will.  The only change I see is, we now have more sophisticated ways of hiding it, so externally it may be easier to hide but what gets you caught are the emotions/morals we have on the inside those at our very core.  I use the example of “cheating” because we all or at least most can relate to it.  I won’t lie, I have cheated and been cheated, either side of the fence it feels awful.  As I approach an age milestone in my life I feel enormously blessed to have experienced being a kid in the late ’60’s and ’70’s.  I can watch “The Walton’s” or “Little House on the Prairie” and understand the family values and how God is central to their lives.  I have experienced rural country living as well as the city, both hold special places in my life.  I often feel detached from my immediate family and extended relatives who have never left the rural existence; I am in no way saying one way of living is better than another, only different.  I believe whole heartedly that I am where God wants me to be and I hope I never out grow my growing up in rural America, the fabric and textures of its simplistic-ness have woven me into the woman I am today.  We, as a society have created new ways of completing tasks with great efficiency, the tasks themselves have not changed much over the years, getting dressed still requires pants one leg at a time; driving still requires instinct and reflexes, education still requires drive, motivation, and the basics of the 3 R’s (reading, riting, rithmatic) that’s funny to those of you that “get it!”  Please forgive me for getting off topic, what I wanted to share is, my life was never mine to begin with, I am God’s creation and I have purpose, now more than ever in my life I am unlocking doors and seeing more vividly the urgency of  living for God, not beside, or with but FOR GOD!  without God I am nothing, you are nothing…we have purpose because God designed, created and gave us all life.  What a gift!  I finally realized I cannot and will never be good enough to be in God’s sight, we are sinful creatures, born into and of sin BUT, we are made NEW by the sacrifice at Calvary.  Jesus has paid the price for all our sins, I pray you already know Jesus in a personal way but if you have never recognized what Jesus has done for you and that you were not an accident or coincident, you are a one of a kind masterpiece of the Master.  God, this is Charlotte, thank you for my life and I ask that you bless each person who reads or hears this, show them your love, mercy and grace.  Help us to seek you everyday in all that we do, help us to see your arms open to hold us when we are tired, scared and lonely.  God, take our mouths and speak through them, take our minds and think through them and take our hearts and set them on fire! Amen.

~Blessings and Peace~

Check out “Pray” by Sanctus Real

Decisions, decisions, decisions!  For anyone who knew me in college, I lived for “crunch time.”  Pulling “all-nighter’s” for an exam, most especially “finals” but sometimes because I didn’t manage my time wisely and sometimes just being lazy.  Although it’s been many years since my college days a few of these traits are still common in my life.  I have been postponing  a task that is important but because of fear, guilt, responsibility and even a bit of shame it hasn’t happened.  Oh, I’ve got reason and excuses but the truth is I’m scared and fearful.  So, this week is the week I face my fear and address my task.  I’ve been talking about my choices and what needs to happen, it’s the actual act of doing it that has yet to materialize. I just had an image of myself flash before my eyes, I am much like a politician in that I say a lot of things but have done very little to make myself believable.  I read something today that jolted my being into stop talking and start “doing.” I get emails from a site called, Brave Girl’s Club and this is what I read today, “We can decide what kind of life we want to have, and we are the ONLY ones who can decide. We can’t wait around for things to happen. We must take action to make them happen. No more excuses, baby. Let’s do this.”  God speaks to us all in many different ways, I am thankful that God has not given up on me, as I am seeking to listen and follow Him, Amen!  I am not going to lie, I do not feel brave or courageous, in fact I’m terrified but procrastination can only go for so long before something happens, good/bad or indifferent…either you make the decision and have ownership or the situation owns you.  That is not what God wants, God is always with us and I am drawing my strength from Him and seeking to do His will.

~Blessings and Peace~

References: http://bravegirlsclub.com/

Isaiah 12:2 “Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation.”

Friends,

I am writing this entry with nothing specific in mind but my mind is full of things.  I am currently sitting in a booth at a favorite restaurant of mine.  I like it here because it feels familiar, family feeling.  I have spent many hours in conversation while enjoying a meal with friends here in this place.  I am off work today, my Saturday if you will for those if you working the typical Monday through Friday schedule.  My work week is probably like many of yours filled with the necessities of life, things that must be done and often our personal needs often must wait for available time usually the weekends.  All too often I find myself wanting to literally hibernate because attending to my personal needs and wants seem so overwhelming. I completely admire “mothers” from my first hand experiences of my own mother and many friends that balance family, friends, husbands and children and have enough energy to care for themselves.  I also believe that God calls these women to service to be mothers to teach others the limitless possibilities to love and be loved.  I often feel very alone in this world, which is not the true reality of my life, I have a father who loves me, a brother that has a limitless ability to care for others, a niece and a nephew, many aunts and uncles, cousins and friends, truly God has blessed me with loving support.  Why do I feel alone and isolated? I can answer that, at least partially answer my own question…I choose to be, not for the obvious reasons of “oh, feel sorry for me.”  I have had a deep desire to care for others for as long as I can remember, this to my own detriment.  I feel joy when I can help others, a release of endorphins stimulates my mind and body to a state of happiness.  A key piece of information is knowing when to give and when to acknowledge limits if giving and identifying boundaries to protect myself from harm.  In order for me to give and continue to give is recognizing when I need to “give” to myself for my own preservation, boundaries.  A word I love to visual is “reciprocal” being able to see the word in action helps me understand the complexity of all relationships, if one side is always giving eventually things become so heavy on one side it causes collapse.  This discovery has been monumental to me!  Thank you, my friend for sharing your knowledge with me, you know who you are.  I am so much more aware of my place in this world, my world is so much more than the fenced in areas.  It is not my world, it’s God’s world I am in this world for His glory, not mine.  It can be so easy to minimize our existence when we live with blinders on, there is so much to see and learn, so much God has for us!  We all are making difference, the only question is are we making a change for God and His goodness?

As I share my struggles and triumphs with you, I pray that you see God and open yourselves to Him.

This is a follow-up to my previous blog titled “Fading…” I am extremely blessed by God and He is ever-present I know this by His wonderous works of grace and mercy.  Yet, knowing all these things I still feel the pressures of this life I live here on earth. I want to be very authentic when sharing my thoughts and yes, today was very dark and scary to read but trust me, it was exactly what I was feeling when I wrote it.  Two of my oldest and dearest friends reached out to me as soon as they read my words, tears immediately welled up and I could feel their love surrounding me and I knew I was not alone, God had provided for my needs at that very moment.  I never meant to cause any troubles to my readers.  Margaret and Nancy, your friendship has remained strong and special over the years…I love you both immensely! And, Pastor Michael your support and prayers are felt, thanks.  After, exchanging text messages and a phone call I knew I needed to follow-up and tell you that I know and believe God is bigger and stronger than anything in this world, I knew that truth while writing but writing it down got it out of my head, my authentic message to everyone reading this is “God is good, God is good all the time!” I also want to thank a special friend and her silent strength and endless prayers and reminds me, that being me as ok.  Place your trust in God always and most especially when nothing makes sense and the tunnel has gone dark.  Nancy reminded me of one of my favorite passages, “Jeremiah 29:11-14 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity…”

~Blessing and Peace~

I feel myself slipping away to a familiar place, a place I haven’t been in a long while. I know I should resist but I want to let go. My strength is weak, my senses are covered with a dense fog of vagueness. My desire for life is weakened in this state of nothingness, I have not lost my awareness of God and my need for Him; however, I do feel and acknowledge the distance between us growing with every breath I take. As the darkness continues to surround me, the light of hope is pushed further away, I can almost touch it. My tears do not flow outward, my sorrow grows within me. I want to rest, I sleep but rest eludes me.

C.A.Robinson
~03/13/2014