I have been thinking about my friends and friendships after attend church services this past Sunday. You are probably already wondering what the title of this has to do with friendship, sharing and selfishness. Looking back on my life experiences and the wonderful people who have come into my life, I am reminded of the opportunities I have had in meeting those individuals and the pleasure of naming each one friend. I am not going to try to name all the people who have been influential in my life and the people who I call friends, I hope they all know they did make a difference in my life and helped to shape the person I am today. What I want to share with you is my personal perception of friends and friendships as they relate to me and possible offer support for anyone that might have similar feelings and/or thoughts. My thought on friendship is basically I have been blessed with wonderful people throughout my life. Sadly, some friends come and go but I am learning that God puts and leads people to come into our lives when we need what they can provide. On Sunday I had an epiphany about friends and now I have a better understanding of this quote by an unknown author, “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.” Those words have brought comfort to me more times than I can count over the years but with my recent epiphany I had not previously considered its meaning in a reciprocal manner. Friendships are not one way relationships, they are about giving and receiving. Another great reference Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything,

a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I have realized that as much as I want to hang onto friends, the truth is they are or were in my life for only a season. This is a subject that has haunted me for a very long time, I find it difficult to grasp why some people come into my life and then leave leaving a gap, empty space in my life. It becomes an obsession of “what is wrong with me?” or “what did I do wrong?” I believed that I had found a method to deal with this by telling people I meet and I wish to friends with, that  “I tend to want to spend lots of time with new friends that “feed” me emotionally, socially and intellectually.” Not sure if this is a viable method of beginning a friendship? Honesty is the best method but this might be extreme. The truth I have realized is I seek solace and companionship in friends and I become selfish with their time. I want to share everything immediately as if there was urgency in learning about one another. My assumption that people want to give up all their free time to spend it with me, as if I were their only friend leads me down a lonely road. A mentor of mine shared a valuable piece of information with me a few years ago when I was struggling with the loss of a friendship, she said to me that someone may be 1 of 5 friends to me; therefore, making it easy for me to share and spend time with each one without neglecting one; however, I may be 1 of 20 friends to someone else making it more difficult to spend extended periods of time together on a regular basis. Additionally, just because my life is easily rearranged that is not a luxury for everyone. As I am remembering my friendships from my childhood to now; I can see the diversity of people God placed in my life and can look at those individuals with kinder eyes now that I have a better appreciation for what they added to my life. I am the person I am today because of all the people I have shared a season of friendship with. Sometimes friendships are renewed through the years while others are fond memories that seem to not fade over time. God continues to place special individuals in my life to share with, to learn from and to just be present with them if only for a season. God has blessed me with the spiritual gift of “giving” I love to give it makes my heart happy but even with this gift, I must be responsible and recognize healthy boundaries. Boundaries are critical in that they define who we are; they say what we want and what we don’t want, it’s a plan. Boundaries provide benefits to knowing our limitations and keeps us from overextending ourselves so that we can manage our health, safety and spiritual needs.

A note to my friends and family, I love you all and you have all added love and laughter to my life. I am learning to seek God for comfort and understanding for the emptiness I feel at times; realizing it is not the responsibility of my friends or family to fill the voids in my life. This is a process and I thank you for your love and patience as I learn and grow into the woman I was created to be.

Lessons learned:

−Recognize my neediness

−Respective of others time

−Friendships growing over time

−Friends are not possessions

−Free time is not a luxury for all

−Stop seeking validation from others

−Believe in myself

−Accept truth as truth

−Trust God

~Peace and Blessings~

Several weeks ago I started participating in a workshop entitled, “Pursue You UNIQUE PURPOSE.”  The workshop was led by a phenomenal professional Leader of Ministries Coaching & Training; she was able to share her knowledge and understanding of the topic in very real circumstances for us to see and use in our own individual lives, as well as our families, communities and our church.  The group of women I have had the pleasure of learning and growing with is invaluable to me not just as a person and woman, but deeper in the fact we share in community together through our church and our faith in God.  When our workshop came to a close many of us in attendance were saddened, as a result we committed to one another to meet monthly to discuss our progress, our struggles and most importantly to be in fellowship with one another.  In a world focused on the next big thing, how refreshing to connect with other women of faith to learn and grow not only individually but as a community.  Faith and belief in God is more than a religion and more than a fad, we are committed to be followers of Jesus Christ and to use the gifts He blessed us with for His glory.  This world was created by God, we were created to glorify God and we want to live into all that He created us to be.   Defining and exploring my spiritual gifts has provided a sense of freedom and elation as well as concerns; concerns of my humanism, the constant battle of being in the world but not of this world.  Knowing that my future is not this place but I am here to share the “Good News” of Jesus and the love He has for all.  I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to attend church from a very young age hearing and learning bible stories.  My parents made many sacrifices to send me and my brother to a Christian School, paying tuition and providing transportation to and from school for 7 years.  What a great example of love!  I was also blessed with the ability to attend a Christian College.  After College, I began searching for my place in the world and making choices trying to be an adult.  My Christian walk went on a hiatus, not that I am proud of that merely the truth.  God never stopped loving me and blessed me in spite of myself.  I never stopped believing in God I selfishly stopped talking with him, I continued the usual church going on holidays but I pretty much set out to find my own happiness all on my own.  I met interesting people and was exposed to different ways of life I had never really given any thoughts to, I experienced people of varied opinions politically, religious differences regarding denominations and practices, ethnicity  and sexual orientation.   I was interested in the differences in people and silly in a way, I was not scared of learning new things.  I was young and naïve just trying to figure life out, thinking I found the right people to teach me.  Looking back I don’t and well, shouldn’t have any regrets.  Those instances are what one might call regrets, I call lessons.  Some lessons required me to repeat them a few times but eventually I was able to grasp the knowledge I needed to become successful.  Looking back on those experiences it is so obvious that God was with me the entire journey; I can stand before my friends and family today knowing that I am a child of God and He never left me alone.  Only through the grace and mercy of God am I saved with the promise of life eternal.  Life is messy, life is difficult, life is learning, life is sharing and it is through all these things we can truly see the value, purity and unconditional love of God.   Life is good…it is because of sadness that we experience true happiness; it is only by losing something we are able to appreciate its value when found; growth requires a bit if rain and storms in order to see radiant colors, beautiful skies…Our creator is the Great Creator and He wants to share and spend eternity with all.  His love endures for all and His grace is sufficient for all!  Thanks for joining me on this my journey, I am still learning and growing and it is my hope to reach out to you, and tell you God is still performing miracles today; He loves you and has always loved you!  I am thankful to be a messenger sharing His love with you this very day. 

*A special note to my “Women of Purpose” I truly love each of you and I am so happy to be sharing my journey of purpose with each of you!

~Peace and Blessings~

 Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” NIV

Psalm 139:13-16, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.   My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Genesis 1:31, “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.  And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.” NIV

Hebrews 12:6, “because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” NIV

2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” NIV

Websites for Spiritual Gifts Assessments:  Also, just Google or Bing (spiritual gifts)

http://www.spiritualgiftstest.com/

http://www.kodachrome.org/spiritgift/

http://www.umc.org/site/c.lwL4KnN1LtH/b.8051415/

Websites for Scripture passages:

http://www.biblegateway.com/

Chaos surrounds me from within me and around me

I need an outlet to scream, shout, yell and cry out for peace

Darkness covers everything within my sight

My skin is cold from the loneliness of this place

My heart is pounding I feel the blood like fire rushing in and out

My eyes see the destruction; my tears sting my raw and tender skin

When will the fight be finished, no human will win this battle

Only God Almighty is the Victor, I am powerless without my Redeemer.

~C. A. Robinson

   October 4, 2013

   4:59pm

I can’t be you and I’m finding it difficult to be me,

Wanting to be the child but needing to be the adult,

I am lost, not knowing what to do,

Sensing things that I need to do

Life is reciprocal, that’s what I’m told,

Living is more than existing…I’m tired,

I don’t want to let you go, I still need you,

I miss you I’m trying, weakened by selfishness

Your memories fill me when I’m feeling empty

Your strength, bravery and love sustain me

~C. A. Robinson

  October 2, 2013

  12:37am

  

If you have never read anything by Mitch Albom, I encourage you to try just one.  He is an amazing writer and his stories invite you into the scenes of each page.  You will find it difficult to put the book down, not wanting to wait to finish the story.  He has his own web site and if you prefer watching his stories, most have been made into movies.  He has a new book release on 11/12/13!  My favorites are “Have a Little Faith” and “The Time Keeper.”

Website: http://mitchalbom.com/d/

New Book: “the first call from heaven”

 

While having lunch with a friend last week she suggested that I share my decision to disconnect from TV with all of you, my friends and followers, so here goes… About a year ago I was plagued with a question and I did not like my answer…I was a TV “junkie” and to be honest I still enjoy watching a few programs through my internet connection and I do see TV (news) on a regular basis as it is part of my job.  My dilemma was too much TV.  I recently joined a church and have been gradually getting more and more  involved, when I realized that I knew more about current TV plots than the stories in the Bible. The Bible tells me my history and my future, TV shows and this world in particular with all pass away, are you seeing the point to my story?  There was a time when I was able to quote verses, I was raised in a Christian home and attended church on a regular basis and even attend a Christian College but I had allowed my life to become cluttered with the things of this temporary home.  Life was good at times and had been very bad at times, I had unknowingly put God in a corner and I would occasionally remember to say “hello” and “thanks” but mostly, a reminder that caught the corner of my eye from time to time.  I made a declaration that I needed an intervention!  I was DVR(ing) several shows each week and basically used my 2 days off work to sit in front of a TV!  I no longer wanted to be a slave to my TV and furthermore, what was I really gaining from that experience?  The answer, absolutely nothing!  Sure I could join in conversations about who was seeing who or who did what…but it left me feeling very empty.  So, I starting reading my Bible more, started reading more books and the best part of it all, I was allowing myself to meet new people (thanks Brandi for the encouragement).  The past 6 months or so have been remarkable, I am sharing my life experiences with my friends and family on a more regular basis, I started attending classes and workshops at church and I have been an active member of a couple of groups at church. And bonus, I started this blog (thanks Jan).  God is blessing me beyond anything I ever imagined.  I just wish I had not been so stubborn and resisted the call to come home, but God never left me and He welcomed me back with grace, mercy and unconditional love.  Unplugging may not be for you, find what works for you and spend time with God, you will not be disappointed, I promise. I cherish my devotional and prayer time with God, He wants to share in my joys, my struggles and my life.  No matter what the weather is like outside or the state of the world’s affairs, knowing God walks with me makes every day beautiful!

Peace and Blessings~

Teach me thy way, O Lord; I will walk in thy truth:
unite my heart to fear thy name.
 I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart:
and I will glorify thy name for evermore.
 For great is thy mercy toward me:
and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell.

Psalms 86:11-13

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2086:11-14&version=AKJV

http://youtu.be/_ATftuXf2KA

Wow, it’s been almost a week since I’ve updated my blog.  So many things are happening within me and around me but I just have not made the time to sit and write.   This past week I have been acutely aware of just how blessed I am, God has poured His blessing upon me and I am in awe of His love.  As I speak daily with God I know that I have not done anything worthy of the things I have.  Things that are often taken for granted like the air I breathe, the clothes I wear, the food I eat, my shelter and my nutrition…the list goes on and on.  Only by God’s grace and mercy am I able to enjoy such things.  Life is difficult and lessons are sometimes repeated until we grasp and learn the skills necessary to triumph over the task we face.  I am here to encourage you to stay in the fight, you will have victory!  God loves you and He will never leave you or forsake you, turn yourself around, seek God!  God welcomes His children back into His loving arms!  Have ever experienced losing something and do you remember the joy that came over you when what was missing was found?  Multiply that feeling by the highest number you can imagine and it will still not come close to the joy and celebration that God feels and shares with His angels in Heaven, when we return to Him!  Luke chapter 15 provides 3 separate stories of things that were lost and found.  I have provided a YouTube video below that speaks about Luke chapter 15.  Friends, you are loved and you were uniquely created by God!  Peace and Blessings~

Sermons:   http://www.avonchristian.org/worship/

Sermon Lost and Found dated 09/15/2013:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LduVUmEpmh0

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2015&version=MSG

 

Today is a most special day for me; my mom would have been 67 this very day. I miss her each and every day but knowing she can finally rest and be pain-free brings me comfort. Her love continues beyond the grave, just being her daughter gives me a sense of empowerment because of the life she led and values she passed on to me. My mom was not perfect but she was an extraordinary woman! I miss her ability of knowing when I needed something; moms just have that perfect sense for their children. My mom was a no-nonsense kind of person, she was not much for “coddling” but I cannot remember a time I did not have the things I needed and even having most of the things I wanted while growing up. She encouraged play time and was always my biggest fan no matter what I was pursuing. She had such a strong sense of family and taking care of others. She worked 2 jobs most of her life, married at sixteen and had two children by nineteen. My mom was strong and resilient; she gave freely and lived her life in the shadows, asking only to be treated with respect. What a legacy she left for me, my brother and my dad. She believed in equality, meaning everyone who works the same job should have the same expectations…she worked in a factory and struggled with the generational gaps of ethics and working to be proud of the product you were making verses just showing up for a paycheck. My mom was definitely “old school” and I couldn’t be more proud of this trait that she nurtured and helped to develop within me. My life has been so enriched by the lessons I have learned from my family, I was blessed to have actually met my great-grandparents of my mom and dad’s families as well as several aunts and uncles plus numerous cousins. Every August, we have a family reunion for my mom’s side of the family; I did not attend in 2012, the grief of losing mom in June was just too difficult to face everyone, that and I had to work. Honestly, I did not want to attend this year but I needed to go and I am so very glad that I did. Seeing relatives and catching up on kids, grandkids and even great-grandkids was wonderful. What an amazing world we live in, where healing happens with family to share your grief and all the many memories that immediately bring smiles, tears and much laughter. I am reminded of just how very precious family is now that the matriarch of my family is gone, I know that she knew I loved her and my love continues just differently now. She always insisted she did not want gifts and that she did not need anything at birthdays and holidays…that always made me look all the more for that one perfect gift. My mom was a very practical woman, not wanting more than she needed and never placing herself above others. She is my hero, I know that I cannot be her… but I can try to be the best “me” I can be while holding onto the values and morals she taught me and I am living into the person she always knew I would be. We saw and experienced life differently but no matter where I was or what I was doing she loved me, she loved me completely.
Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you! 

         

Proverbs 31:29-31 (NIV)
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Oh Lord, my God I come to you seeking comfort and asking for guidance. I am so very tired and I have lost my way. I love you, you are my salvation I am giving but my giving feels empty, teach me the lessons I still need to learn. My heart is aching because the gift of giving lacks understanding and truth. For your word says in John 8:32 (NIV) Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” I want to be free of this burden, I cannot continue this journey alone, my intentions were good but giving merely from a sense of obligation is wrong, causing strife, pain and guilt. I am missing the joy of giving, my heart no longer sings songs of gladness but now is filled with sadness and regret that I have been so foolish. What started out as helping, hiding my gifts now only fills my soul with darkness and disappointment. Oh God, I am at a loss, I am broken and need what only you can provide, your grace and your mercy. I want to empower others through my gifts not enable them. I want my giving to reflect you and your mighty works, I am nothing without you. I am uniquely created and I am your child, I pray for courage to be able to finish this journey for your glory, I need to teach, not simply do…I am to share the gifts you have given to me and gifts mean more than financial assistance; often it is the sharing of insight, knowledge, training and letting go of control because that should never have been mine to take. I am reminded that sometimes the lessons we need to learn are difficult; however, the reward is not in easy answers that someone gives you but the appreciation learned by going on the journey. I have been selfishly thinking I was the solution as if to take the honor, but all honor goes to you, dear God, all that I am and all that I have are gifts from you.

Don’t withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do it. Don’t say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again; tomorrow I will give it to you,” when you have it by you.-Proverbs 3:27-28-(Contemporary)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.-Proverbs 3:5-6-(Contemporary)

Here it is from The Message
Proverbs 3:5
“Trust God from the bottom of your heart;don’t try to figure out everything on your own.Listen for God ‘s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.”

It’s About Forgiveness

I have no right to be angry
But I am…

Life comes with no guarantees
It can consume us, if we allow it..

Self loathing and pity we give freely
Responsibility we hide in corners.

Out of sight, out of mind
Hoping it will be lost forever

Oh but it returns full of vigor
At the height of our pride

Making us humble and weak
Truth sometimes frees us

Truth often hurts before freeing us
No more burden to bear alone

Forgiveness, sweet as a spring rain
Refreshing and allows growth within

I want to dance in the rain
I want forgiveness
It must start with me…

~C.A.Robinson
August 25, 2012
2:16pm

Peace & Blessings~