From Enabling to Empowering

Oh Lord, my God I come to you seeking comfort and asking for guidance. I am so very tired and I have lost my way. I love you, you are my salvation I am giving but my giving feels empty, teach me the lessons I still need to learn. My heart is aching because the gift of giving lacks understanding and truth. For your word says in John 8:32 (NIV) Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” I want to be free of this burden, I cannot continue this journey alone, my intentions were good but giving merely from a sense of obligation is wrong, causing strife, pain and guilt. I am missing the joy of giving, my heart no longer sings songs of gladness but now is filled with sadness and regret that I have been so foolish. What started out as helping, hiding my gifts now only fills my soul with darkness and disappointment. Oh God, I am at a loss, I am broken and need what only you can provide, your grace and your mercy. I want to empower others through my gifts not enable them. I want my giving to reflect you and your mighty works, I am nothing without you. I am uniquely created and I am your child, I pray for courage to be able to finish this journey for your glory, I need to teach, not simply do…I am to share the gifts you have given to me and gifts mean more than financial assistance; often it is the sharing of insight, knowledge, training and letting go of control because that should never have been mine to take. I am reminded that sometimes the lessons we need to learn are difficult; however, the reward is not in easy answers that someone gives you but the appreciation learned by going on the journey. I have been selfishly thinking I was the solution as if to take the honor, but all honor goes to you, dear God, all that I am and all that I have are gifts from you.

Don’t withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do it. Don’t say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again; tomorrow I will give it to you,” when you have it by you.-Proverbs 3:27-28-(Contemporary)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.-Proverbs 3:5-6-(Contemporary)

Here it is from The Message
Proverbs 3:5
“Trust God from the bottom of your heart;don’t try to figure out everything on your own.Listen for God ‘s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.”

It’s About Forgiveness

I have no right to be angry
But I am…

Life comes with no guarantees
It can consume us, if we allow it..

Self loathing and pity we give freely
Responsibility we hide in corners.

Out of sight, out of mind
Hoping it will be lost forever

Oh but it returns full of vigor
At the height of our pride

Making us humble and weak
Truth sometimes frees us

Truth often hurts before freeing us
No more burden to bear alone

Forgiveness, sweet as a spring rain
Refreshing and allows growth within

I want to dance in the rain
I want forgiveness
It must start with me…

August 25, 2012

Peace & Blessings~

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