Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a “Celebrate Recovery’s 12 Steps and Their Biblical Comparisons” meeting with two of my cousins. The meeting was very upbeat and had an energetic atmosphere. I am truly thankful that groups like these exist for individuals to receive support and camaraderie. I agreed with the majority of information I heard at the meeting and I am somewhat hesitant to mention my concerns and views; however, my conscience is not allowing me to not speak…My caution is to anyone involved in organized groups like this one specifically or ones similar, please do not accept everything you hear or see without exploring the content for yourself. My heart became troubled over words used in two of the twelve steps, it may just be the words themselves but for me to not share my views seemed unconscionable. Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity and Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.  The word “sanity” for me is too strong and for me I prefer ” the renewal of your mind” in Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”  My second word of concern is “defect” I believe that we are all born uniquely created by God and that we all are born with a purpose.  The verse I would select is Psalms 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Ok, for the record, I am not a theologian, these are my personal preferences, it is entirely possible that these passages and references were instilled in me by someone, much like the “Celebrate Recovery’s 12 Steps and Their Biblical Comparisons.”   So, I am not throwing stones, merely sharing my belief and a word of caution, you can’t believe everything you hear…you must seek knowledge on your own as well.  I have most recently been writing about faith and what is means to me, faith is personal…whatever you may have faith in should be personal.  I am specifically talking about my faith in God and I have no proof or logic to give you only that I do believe in a power greater than myself and that power is the Holy Trinity, God the Father, the Son, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.  I have been involved in church activities my whole life, but I am also celebrating a recovery, just as with any addiction…sin!  Humans are sinful, and we must daily pray and ask God for guidance and support, we are born sinful by nature and battles are won daily and will continue to rage on until the war is over, that will be when Jesus comes for His followers and we will live with Him forever in Heaven.  Until that day, we are all in a state of recovery, daily we must arm ourselves with grace, mercy, love and forgiveness for ourselves as well as all the people we come in contact with. God loves each of us and desires to be in relationship with us, He is just wanting to be asked to share your life, all of it the good times, the sad times and lonely times…there is not a single event in our lives that God doesn’t want to share with us.  If it’s been awhile since you have talked with God, go ahead and call upon Him now, He’s available 24/7/365…no waiting/no appointment necessary.   Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

~Blessings and Peace~

References:

http://www.biblegateway.com/

http://ssalinda.wordpress.com/2009/01/08/58/

Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

For it is God who is at work in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.  PHILIPPIANS 2:13

Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

JAMES 4:10 NIV

After I finished writing part 1, I read an article on twitter that provided some insight to “faith.”  The article features Tullian Tchividjian, grandson of Billy Graham, he shares his thoughts regarding his new book, “One Way Love: Inexhaustible Grace for an Exhausted World.”   The article offered a different way of defining faith to me.  I previously stated that faith for me is an action word; with the focus being “my” actions…I believe that I was somewhat slanted in my view.  While it is true, faith in God requires my affirmation (action) in God displayed in my daily life and interactions, the real action of faith is the power, majesty and grace of God.  Faith is the foundation of Christian life and assurance of a future in Heaven with God.  A quote from the article that really spoke to me was “Only undeserved grace can truly melt and transform the heart. The route by which the New Testament exhorts sacrificial love and obedience is not by tempering grace but by driving it home. Charles Spurgeon nailed it when he said, “When I thought God was hard, I found it easy to sin; but when I found God so kind, so good, so overflowing with compassion, I beat my breast to think I could ever have rebelled against One who loved me so and sought my good.”   We are incapable of saving ourselves; faith enables us to spend eternity with God.  Hebrews 11:1 (NIV) “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” And, Hebrews 11:6 (NIV) states, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Romans 10:17 (NIV) “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.” Scripture explains that the source of faith is God:  Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV)”For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God–not by works, so that no one can boast.”  Another quote (paraphrased) that hit me like a brick wall was, “The focus of Christian faith should not be our love for God but to realize God’s love for us.”   And, “Christianity is not about good people getting better. If anything, it is good news for bad people coping with their failure to be good.” 

I did say this is a journey and my first task is to identify and name it, the thing or things that keeps me from fully living my faith and developing a deeper relationship with God.

•   Self-Confidence
•   Trust

Now, my work begins.  Funny, that statement immediately took me to one of my favorite places, my church.  At the end of every service the congregation says, “Our worship has ended. Now our Service begins!”  I approach this task with fears, humility and hope.  Below are a few of sites I have looked at and they offer simple and creative ways to build self-confidence and trust.  Our pasts will be different during this portion of the trekking but our futures can and will be what we choose them to be and mine is to grow and develop an interacting relationship with my Creator and Savior. 

~Blessings and Peace~ 

References and resources:

http://jonathanmerritt.religionnews.com/2013/10/02/tullian-tchividjian/

http://www.biblegateway.com

http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence

http://www.wikihow.com/Trust-Your-Own-Abilities

Faith, what visual picture does this word bring to you or what does it mean to you.  I proudly profess to be a Christian and believe in the Trinity of God the Father, the Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.  Faith is the belief in, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proof. I found myself this past week questioning my faith in people I care very deeply for, what does that say about me and my faith in God?  I believe in a God, whom I have never seen and I doubt people I see and interact with on a regular basis.  This revelation has caused great concern to me and I started trying to understand this double standard I am living.  I started as basic as I possibly could asking is faith, trust and belief the same thing?  They are synonyms for each other and are defined very closely, but I am more interested in the words as “action” words rather than simple nouns. Faith is an “action” word for me, it’s living out my faith on a daily basis and is what others see in me.  It was a devastating feeling when I realized my faith seemed to be weak.  As I was considering  these things the word “trust” kept creeping into my thoughts, and after thinking about it and having a conversation with someone close to me I began to see with perfect clarity that it is myself that I do not trust and that my belief/faith in myself is weak.  As with most things in life, it is expected that one should be able to understand and do things before they expect to receive it from others.  The foundation of my faith and belief in God is that He loved me before I was created, He knew me before I was conceived, these truths are found in the Bible.  I have been holding onto fear for as long as I can remember and although I have experienced periods of strength and confidence somehow I recoil back into a place where I have retreated over and over again throughout my life.  What am I so afraid of? Criticism, not being pretty enough, smart enough overall not feeling loved, liked or accepted.  The problem is I try to be accepted based upon everyone else’s moral and value code of ethics…see my problem?  The rules will never be the same; therefore, I will never meet any of them!  I must define my own values and morals to live by and the only acceptance and approval I should be seeking is God’s.  Please bear with me, I realize I might be making this sound easy and in many instances it can be; however, if you are reading this and have ever experienced doubts about yourself, life and even the eternal know that you are not alone.  I am starting a journey and I am inviting you to join me, the first thing is to identify and name it (fear, confidence, inferiority..) whatever is enabling; second thing is honesty with ourselves and most especially with God, He already knows what’s in our hearts.  The third thing is a plan, knowing where we are and where we want to go/be.  I think three steps are more than enough to begin this journey.  I will be updating and sharing my trek of living my faith and I would welcome dialogue.

~Blessings and Peace~

What do you do when you are expecting something?

Today, I was expecting to see an old friend, I got up early and ran all my errands, then rushed home to clean and straighten the apartment all with anticipation.  I wanted things to be neat and tidy for my friend, although she would never say anything if it had been messy!  The excitement and the waiting were unnerving at times.  Several thoughts raced through my mind, would she notice my weight loss, would she be excited and happy to see me…oh, the list or at least my mind raced into many different directions.  We have been friends for well over a decade, we have seen each other though many things over the years; from friends to lovers back to friends again.  My best description of our relationship is…family.  I will always love her and I will always wish for her happiness. She is strong and independent, smart and beautiful to mention a few of her traits.  I will always have a special place for her in my life and in my heart, although we are hundreds of miles apart, she knows that I am here for her anytime and I too can call upon her.  She used to tell me that I was her hero,  that made me feel invincible!   The most courageous thing she ever did was also one the most difficult things I have ever dealt with, telling me her love for me had changed, that was it and she never changed her mind or looked back from that moment.  Fast forward four years, she and I are different people today, wiser and more knowledgeable, I like to think.  The  breakup has been by far one the most difficult, heartbreaking journeys I have ever been through and has affected me so radically all I can do is say “Thank You” for loving me enough to let go.  I am a better person, a better friend and maybe someday a better lover, but none of this would even be possible if she had just stayed going through the motions.  You are probably wondering, why am I telling you this story…well I want to share the rest of my story with you and it only came to fruition because of that journey.  I had always identified myself by the people I loved and cared for, so when I was forced to live with myself it was uncomfortable, I did not like taking care of me as much as I liked taking care of others.  I discovered if I am not whole, I can not make someone else whole, I lacked the knowledge and skills to do that.  I am a stubborn individual and I was starving to be needed but I was looking in all the wrong places.   I started to look for order in my life, I wanted God but I wanted Him on my terms.  I searched for a community that could feed me spiritually but I was stubborn at this too.  I was scared to make choices of make myself vulnerable, I wanted love, peace and security…but I did not want to invest too much time finding these things.  So, after two plus years, I did find a church and a community of faith filled with a wealth of interesting people, who thought I was kind of interesting as well.  It has not been an easy road getting to the place I’m at right now, but I can say with all honesty, that through all the tears and fears I count it all a blessing.  God had always been a part of my life as far back as I can remember, I am so very thankful that God never gave up on me.  My joy comes from knowing where I’ve been and absolutely knowing where I going.  I can now lay claim my values knowing to  whom I belong and that I am loved by so many.  God was and is in control, I was merely delirious in thinking I was in control.   My future is in God’s hands as I seek to do His will and not mine.  I am fully aware that bad and probably sad things are going to happen in my life, none will compare to life without God, He created me, knew me before I was born, knew I would screw things up but loved me in spite of myself.  Life is hopeless without God, with God Life is Hope Filled!

~Peace and Blessings~

I am proud to be an American but I am ashamed of my lack knowledge about the things that make us a Great Nation.  As a child I remember saying the “Pledge of Allegiance” and singing the “Star Spangled Banner” but unfortunately I do not recall the last time I said or sang either.  I am proud of the individuals that serve in our military, and although I did not choose to serve and in all honesty could not have endured it I am thankful and indebted to the brave men and women who protect my rights to live in a country where I am free, I have freedom.  I was born in this country so I have not experienced the absence of freedom.  Today as I was reading the news I become outraged at an article on CNN Belief Blog, stating “The Air Force makes ‘God’ optional in honor code?  Really, where is our line in the sand as it relates to our fundamental facts of this Great Country that has had ‘God’ sown into the very fabric of our nation?  I began researching facts of my great nation and I rediscovered some of the knowledge of my youth.  I am in favor of immigration but the “why” individuals want to become “Americans” is in my opinion is crucial.  When a decision is made to immigrate to America you are accepting “the America” we American’s cherish!  America is not for everyone, so don’t come here and then fight to change our history to mold it into something different.  Furthermore, why is it that so many Americans think we have to foster to every whim to be politically correct or accepting of changing or minimizing the core values of our country?  People, traditions and beliefs can be respected and even be a melting-pot without changing the visions and foundations of our nation, as inspired by our Founding Fathers.  What I am trying to say is, I am proud to be an American and for the freedom to say so.  Did you know that in the modern motto of the United States of America, was established in a 1956 law signed by President Dwight D Eisenhower, is In God We Trust.  The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST as a motto for currency (but not as a National motto) first appeared on United States coins in 1864. The 1956 law was the first establishment of an official motto for the country, although E Pluribus Unum (“from many, one”) had been adopted by an Act of Congress in 1782 as the motto for the Seal of the United States and had been used on coins and paper money since 1795. Thus, it had been unofficially considered to be the country’s motto. The change from “E Pluribus Unum” to “In God We Trust” was generally considered uncontroversial at the time given the pressures of the Cold War era.  The constitutionality of the modern national motto has been questioned with relationship to the separation of church and state outlined in the First Amendment. In 1970, in Aronow v. United States, the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit ruled that the motto does not violate the First Amendment to the Constitution. The United States Supreme Court has not ruled on the issue.  A similar phrase appears in the final stanza of The Star-Spangled Banner. Written in 1814 by Francis Scott Key (and later adopted as the U.S. national anthem on March 3, 1931 by US president Herbert Hoover), the song contains an early reference to a variation of the phrase: “And this be our motto: ‘In God is our trust.’”

The Pledge of Allegiance

By Francis Bellamy 1892

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Official versions of the Pledge of Allegiance

(Changes in bold italics)

1892:  “I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

1892 to 1922:  “I pledge allegiance to my Flag and to the republic for which it stands: one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

1923:  “I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States, and to the republic for which it stands; one Nation indivisible with liberty and justice for all.”

1924 to 1954:  “I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands; one Nation indivisible with liberty and justice for all.”

1954 to Present:  “I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

The Star Spangled Banner  

By: Francis Scott Key 1814

Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,

O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.

Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,

Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,

What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,

As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,

In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:

‘Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore

That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,

A home and a country should leave us no more!

Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps’ pollution.

No refuge could save the hireling and slave

From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:

And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand

Between their loved home and the war’s desolation!

Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n rescued land

Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,

And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

In closing, thank you for reading my blog and whether you agree with me or not, I am thankful to be in a country that enables me to share my views freely. 

~Peace and Blessings~

References:

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/10/25/air-force-makes-god-optional-in-honor-code/

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/president-eisenhower-signs-in-god-we-trust-into-law

http://www.network54.com/Forum/272761/thread/1310601841/In+God+We+Trust….+Act+of+Congress,+approved+on+April+11,+1864

http://www.ushistory.org/documents/pledge.htm

  

My Soldier

I have freedom, not because it is free

My freedom comes from the sacrifices of many

Sacrifices of generations before me

And those who currently face daily conflicts

Most are braver than I ever hope to be

But because of them I am free

Bravery is a character trait

                  Of all those individuals who fight for me                

They fight for people they love dearly

They fight for ones they will never meet

The fight is personal and public

Its connectivity to the threads that bind us as Americans

The face of my soldier will continue mostly elusive to me

The actions of my soldier, forever grateful I will be for my freedoms

For all those who have sacrificed of themselves for the betterment of other

I say thank you and if I say it from now to eternity, it will never be enough

But, I know it is not for the pleasantries that you do what you do

You do it because it is your very character, your call in this lifetime

I have freedom, not because it is free…

~Charlotte A. Robinson~

01/09/2009

 

 

 

 

Today, as I was starting my day I was reminded of a conversation I had earlier in the week about perceptions.  Truth and honesty is always the best route to take but all too often people hide behind the issue as opposed to standing tall and defending their remarks.  I hate to admit it but I allowed someone to take my joy about my job from me, I literally handed it over without a single thought.  I was reminded of a story from bible Matthew 6:16-17 (NIV) whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 17″But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face…” I realize I am not in the same situation but the truth and reality is I came into work today upset because of someone else’s perceptions of me, really!  I needed someone to hit me in the head like the commercial “I could have had a V-8!!  Seriously, I need to be me, coming in as I normally do; I had at least five people ask me if I was ok today.  I was not myself and as much as I like to think I was the only person affected by these perceptions, I am mistaken it affected the very people I like bringing joy to on a daily basis.  Tomorrow is a new day, my joy is from God and I cannot let arbitrary people control it.  Although my heart is still saddened, an outward appearance of sadness will not resolve my issues.  God knows our hearts; our relationship with Him is a personal one and by exposing this specific ordeal in an outward way will bring attention but not wisdom and peace.  As a Christian I am to be a beckon of light to God and live an example of following His commandments, and although I can never be perfect I can strive to Christ-like behavior and always find rest and forgiveness not because of anything I can do but because of God’s love, His grace and His mercy.  I have no doubts that God is working within my life and that every day is an opportunity to serve Him, God wants and desires to be in our lives…look, listen and feel His presence daily.  My joy is a gift from God and I make a difference in people’s lives and I am proud of that.  We all have spiritual gifts and they are woven into our very existence, be the person God created you to be, and to God be all the glory.  Colossians 3:17 (NIV) “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

When things go our way it’s easy to give the glory to God, but what about the things and times when they don’t go as we would like and when we feel persecuted?  Accepting things we don’t like can be difficult and the difficulty comes in many forms…

1.) We acknowledge we are not in control, God is!

2.) We question our faith in God. 

3.) We see our humanness and our inability to be or do anything worthwhile in the absence of God, our Creator and Redeemer!  This is simple and yet made complex by our sinful nature. 

To God be the Glory

~Peace and Blessings~

A timeless story for all ages, the writer (Richard Bach) paints a portrait where the reader can become an active participant as the story unfolds. Most, if not all can relate with Jonathan and his feelings. He has dreams and desires to become more than just what is expected. He is bullied and singled out for pursuing his individual ideas to the point of being an outcast. His parents, siblings, family and friends shun him and he must find a new place to live. Although he is alone, he does not crumble or buckle under because he has been labeled an outcast; he believes in himself and chases his dreams. Jonathan hears the still small voice within him and never gives up. I do not want to spoil the ending of the book, I encourage you to take a short trip with Jonathan and experience his joy, his refusal to be just like everyone else and conform because that’s what is expected. I also do not want to limit your imagination to how this story can easily be seen in our everyday lives…each of us are unique and the only limitations we have are the ones we impose upon ourselves. It does not take courage to conform; it takes courage to live and do the things that gives meaning to us. What motivates you, who do you desire to be, it is never too late to be the extraordinary person inside…jumping and screaming to be let out to live, to be! What are you waiting for…grab this book and set out on a journey!
“It is a good rule after reading a new book, never to allow yourself another new one till you have read an old one in between.”
― C.S. Lewis
My reflections: For me the still small voice inside me is the Holy Spirit and I know that God created me uniquely individual and I do have purpose. Being a Christian can and has made some outcasts, but our reward is not in or of this world; our eternal home is in Heaven living forever with God, the Father, the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ.

~Peace and Blessings~

I recently had the privilege of spending an evening with my friends from ACC’s Esther’s Circle where we enjoyed friendship and conversation with one another over fall festive snacks.  Our group is reading “Love Does” by Bob Goff and we shared stories of faith and experiences while discussing his book.  I wanted to share my thoughts with you…

Chapter 11: There’s More Room

•If “life is like a sweepstakes where you must be present to win,” what does present look like to you? How does one become fully engaged with Jesus?  Being present means to me living in the moment, trusting in tomorrow and thankful for the day before.  Present is engaging in life as it happens, accepting moments given to us by God.  Being fully engaged with Jesus, can be explained by recent changes I made to my daily devotional time with God, I began starting my day with my devotions and asking God to be with me as I go about my day, what an extraordinary  transformation this has been for me!  I used to do my devotions at the end of my day right before going to bed, thanking God for my opportunities and blessings but when I made the change to start my day with God what a difference it has made; inviting God to join me as I take on the day has by far been the best think I could have done for myself, it is the very act of sharing everything and having a true companion with me all day long.  God wants to be there through all our times, we need only to invite Him.  I continue my nightly devotions as well and I find I have less frustrations and more thanksgivings at the end of my day!  What a wonderful way to start and end our days, being connected to God! 

•Has “the Christian life” ever felt like the set of National Treasure 2 to you? Or have you ever felt like an outsider? What might Jesus do about this? I can’t really think of a time I felt like being on a set of a movie; but I have experienced feeling like an outsider.  Realistically, most of us have probably experienced feeling different or like an outsider at least once in our lives.  I can recall several times in my life where I felt very much an outsider, alone and forgotten a form of bullying back when I was a kid.  Children can be cruel and the saddest part about it is they have learned cruelty from someone close to them.  I can remember giving into “peer pressures” there was an incident when I was in the fourth grade and I was dared to do something and I did it so my friends would think I was cool, it was a harmless act where no person was physically hurt but it was wrong and then that lead to lying which only created more lies.  What a huge lesson I learned that day; the TRUTH always comes out! I believe that was the last time I recall being grounded and disciplined for bad behavior.   The truth will set you free…HaHaHaHa.  With Jesus, there are no outsiders!  All are welcome and He wants all of us to share in His glory and receive His blessings.  People and churches can made people feel like outsiders and inferior, but know this truth, GOD is always there for you, anytime and any place, always a prayer away.  “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,” Matthew 6:33 NIV.

 •Is “there more room” in your church? In your life? How can more space be made for those Jesus would have included?  Churches are merely buildings made of wood, brick & mortar, it is not alive, it is the people of the church that brings it to life!  I have recently decided to de-clutter my life, I no longer have cable and I sold my TV.  By deleting some things in my life that only served as entertainment, I know have time to engage in things that bring true happiness to me. like reading books and writing down my thoughts and feelings.  I now have time to attend classes and workshops at church, have time to volunteer at church and spending time with my friends sharing in conversation.  Jesus included everyone, no one was left out or treated as an outsider, He came to save the lost and the least and there’s always room to share God’s love!

Chapter 12: Wow, What a Hit!

•Recall some words of encouragement that really stuck with you.  How did they change you?  A few years ago after several years of searching for my college coach, in order to say “thank you” for the lessons she taught me, I finally found her on the internet.  When I played volleyball and basketball for her I always felt like she was always picking on me and pushed me harder than the others, but through all of it I can now look back with pride that she took the time to push me to perform to the best of my ability.  She saw something inside me and wanted me to be able to see it too.  It took me 20 plus years to locate her, I am glad I had the opportunity to finally say, “thank you!”  Most recently, I have 2 friends that were very inspirational in making this space possible and available to anyone on the internet, namely this blog.  I used to be very protective of my writings and I would pick and choose who I shared my writings with, but through their encouragement and suggestions I have been able to let go of some of my fears which has made this experience wonderful and fulfilling.  My writings have always been an outlet for me to pour my feelings out, thinking there was no one I could truly share them with, without putting myself in a vulnerable position but because someone cared about what I had to say and in many ways validated me as a person with something to say, someone to possibly understand; I am now able to share.  My hope and dreams are that my words will bring comfort and clarity to anyone seeking them.  God has blessed me with the ability to transform words and sentences into His work of reaching perhaps the lost and the least.  I am not doing anything extraordinary but I am using a skill that God gave me to spread His Good News, I am proud to be an active part of the Family of God.

•Do you really believe you are the apple of God’s eye? What evidence is there for this?  Absolutely, I believe I am the apple of God’s eye…Deuteronomy 32:10 NIV, “He found him in a desert land And in the wasteland, a howling wilderness; He encircled him, He instructed him, He kept him as the apple of His eye.” Zechariah 2:8 NIV, “For this is what the Lord Almighty says: “After the Glorious One has sent me against the nations that have plundered you—for whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye.”   Psalms 17:8 NIV, “Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.” God created each person, He knew us before we were formed in our mother’s womb, and He most certainly loves each and every person!

•Bob describes his coach “telling me I was a real ball player—he saw it in me and was just calling it out.” List some opportunities you can make to do this for people in your life.  I believe the best thing we can do for one another is to be “honest” what is truly gained by not being truthful?  Honesty can and is also about “boundaries” this allows people to understand you and to know you.  God was not vague when He gave Moses and the Israelite’s  the “Ten Commandments,” and Jesus was very clear when He stated the only way to Heaven and to God was through Him, John 14:6 NIV “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  I have a relatively new friend that is the most purposeful and sincerest person I believe I have ever met, one of the very first conversations we shared she stated what our friendship could be and what it could not be, she was simply stating her boundaries and merely wanted me to know her,  she explained to me what friendship looks like for her.  And as odd as some might think this sounds, it has by far been one of the most valuable conversations I have ever had.  She cared enough from the very beginning to be honest with me, what an awesome foundation to build a friendship upon.  I know it was no accident that we met and that we met at this juncture of my life.  Can you imagine if all our relationships were grounded with honesty?  My life has not been a series of accidental encounters, God has been preparing me for this very moment and I am so grateful for the opportunity to share not just my life with you but to share the love of God with you.

•What’s the relationship between God’s encouragement and our humility? How does one inform the other?  Basically, all that we are and all that we have are gifts from God.  How can we not be humble concerning everything we have?  God promises to never leave us or abandon us.  Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  And, Hebrews 13:5 NIV, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

•Recall a time someone encouraged you despite (or even because of) your shortcomings—calling out something that may not have been there yet. Did their predictions come to pass?  I remember with great clarity how my friends encouraged me when I thought my life was over or at the very least be miserable forever. when I found out that the person I had dreamed of spending the rest of my life with, no longer wanted the same.  I literally thought my life was over, all I could do was think about what could have been and what might have been.  My friends encouraged me through the process of healing, I did not recognize it as healing and grief but it was most definitely!  God used my grieving to draw me back to Him, calling me home to Him, God has always been a part of my life; sadly I had put other things before Him.  I am only now able after four years to look  on that relationship and be happy for both of us, God had the plan I was just extremely stubborn in learning it.  My friends were 100% correct, I am fine and I am ok.  Because of this I am a stronger person and my faith on God renewed with new priorities, God deserves all the credit, He knows me because He created me and He has a plan and a purpose for me…I am filled to overflowing with the grace and mercy of God,  All that I am and All that I have are absolutely, positively a GIFT from God!!!  Amen!

 In closing, thank you for taking the time to read this entry, know that God loves you, you were created and you have purpose!

~Peace and Blessings~

 Footnotes and References:

http://bobgoff.com

http://www.avonchristian.org/

http://www.biblegateway.com

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%206&version=NIV

http://www.thejourney2grace.com/index.cfm?i=11059&mid=1000&id=324730

Those three words have been used to describe me at various points of my life.  I was recently complimented on being patient, I was awe-struck for a moment because I have in the past been guilty of mild (lol) road rage and for stating that life moving too slowly.  I have been able to look back on my behavior with kinder eyes realizing now it was part of growing and maturing as well as with a bit of chuckling….at just how ridiculous I acted.  I am ever so thankful for the love, grace and mercy shown me by God.  My priorities in life have changed through the years and within the last decade reached a cross-road that could not be ignored.  Most of my life I believed that I was growing and maturing into a better person; however, the reality of that is, I was trying to fulfill the hopes, dreams and desires of significant people in my life while unconsciously pushing mine aside.  I thought providing for others would be enough for me but when I found myself alone for the first time in a very long time all I felt was empty.  For the first time in my life I didn’t have someone I could devote all my attention to and I felt lost and scared.  It has been a slow process but I have learned so much about myself, accepting my past, learning to live in the present and trusting God daily with my life.  My world was drastically changed during the spring of 2009 (when an almost 10 year relationship ended and I could not do anything to change that fact) and again in the summer of 2012 (my mother passed away suddenly) followed by surgery that kept me from work for a month.  During the entire time frame from 2009 -2012; I had been searching for answers and one particular area I concentrated on was finding a church where I could connect with people.  I had been attending and was a member of a church but the pastor had resigned and the new pastor and design of the services was not feeding me spiritually.  I started a search for a new church which was painful and difficult.  I did not want to meet new people, share my story or visit numerous churches.  My reluctance to move forward lasted a few years, I was periodically attending the church my previous pastor was now at, but I did not want to attend for the sole purpose of her presence or our previous connection.  I needed a church and a congregation that nourished my soul, not simply the pastor preaching.  Churches are only buildings, the people gathering, sharing and growing together makes it alive!  After visiting this particular church for over 2 years I made the decision to transfer my membership.  What an amazing congregation I have in my new church where I have attended workshops participated in the church newsletter and attend a women’s group celebrating the love of God while strengthening our individual relationship with God and bonding with one another, our neighbors, friends, family and community.   With regards to assertiveness, God had helped me to see that being aware of my likes, dislikes  and choices are just “that” assertion is not a bad thing, it is simply stating facts it is not judgmental in that one is better than another, just different.  Being assertive is your individuality, God’s perfect design just for you.  Psalms 139:14 The Message “Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb.  I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!  Body and soul, I am marvelously made!  I worship in adoration—what a creation!  You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.  Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.”   Now, decision-making has never been a strong skill set of mine, I had always operated on the mindset that choices were not important to me, I always wanted to be open to what others wanted to do, thinking that I was being a good friend, partner or lover.  Sadly, I was wrong.  I have since learned that by always giving into whatever others want never really allowed me to truly be myself; therefore, not giving people an opportunity to really know me.  As my relationship with God has grown I am learning the value and merit of my life because I am not just a human being duplicated over and over, I am uniquely created by God with a purpose.  The Bible has numerous verses referencing decision-making and assertiveness as well as patience…Praise Be to God!  A favorite verse of mine is:  Proverbs 3:5-6 New English Translation “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”  In closing, believe in yourself and please give people the opportunity to know you, you are important, you matter and above all…God loves you! 

~Peace and Blessings~

http://www.openbible.info/topics/decision_making

http://www.openbible.info/topics/assertiveness

http://www.openbible.info/topics/patience

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face,

I rest on His unchanging grace;

In every high and stormy gale,

My anchor holds within the veil.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand.

His oath, His covenant,

His blood Support me in the whelming flood;

When all around my soul gives way,

He then is all my hope and stay.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,

Oh, may I then in Him be found;

Dressed in His righteousness alone,

Faultless to stand before the throne.

On Christ, the solid Rock,

I stand; All other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand.

—Edward Mote (1797-1874)