Dear friend, family and followed, my apologies for the lateness of this post. I hope you are having a delightful Wednesday! 🌻
Wednesday, March 11th, 2020
Here it is, the middle of the week, on this “hump-day” we are continuing to read, learn and share “REMEMBER.” As I was reading my devotional pamphlet today I was reminded that some memories seem to fade into obscurity while others are as visible as road signs or pictures on a wall.
Rev. Sam McGlothlin recalls giving birth and stating that those were the toughest days of her life. A newborn can make you very tired and even scared because you are all of a sudden responsible for another person that relies solely upon you for everything. Jump forward ten months, no longer a newborn and days are filled with new adventures, naps and playful interactions. Rev. Sam, scarcely remembers being tired to the point of exhaustion and her fears have lessened as she cares for her child knowing God is always with her. *I am not a parent, but from a child’s perspective “a parent never stops praying for their children and never stops worrying for their safety.”
This Lenten season we continue traveling through the wilderness, we may read the same verses and the same material but we serve a Might God that sees us as individuals and meets each of us exactly where we are. AMAZING!! The mind is very powerful, so powerful it works to protect us from memories that are extremely painful. In instances of trauma, please seek professional assistance. Healing is possibly, it can be tough and difficult work but I promise you it is worth it. Because, YOU ARE WORTH IT!
I too have experienced some tough times, and overwhelming grief, the body and the soul need healing, no different than allowing a broken arm to heal. Many of you know my mother passed away unexpectedly in 2012, I was devastated. I don’t recall how I made it through or when the grief changed but it did. I still think of her everyday and miss her but I remember how she laughed, how my face feels when she comes to mind, a smile 😊 I think she would approve. Relationships can also be tough, I haven’t been able to make one work…yet. I’ve experienced three distinctive and unique relationships over the past three decades and they didn’t work out for a multitude of reasons. There’s enough fault to pass around but ultimately, being friends was a better fit. I’m thankful for their friendships, it’s easy to remember the good stuff. I haven’t given up on romance but I’m also not rushing into it either. I’m trusting in God’s plan and His timing, it’s proven to be better than mine!
With regards to trauma, I’m sharing mine and what I chose to do. I had snippets of memories of things that happened in my childhood they were fuzzy memories, confusing and bothersome at times. I pushed it aside for many, many years. I experienced shame, fear and humiliation all of which were self-induced. I held onto all these things and just kept moving them around in my head, much like a pinball machine. After awhile it was a natural reflex to click the paddle and just keep the ball rolling. It wasn’t until I was able to be still with my thoughts, that I tried to untangle the mess created by the perpetual movement of memories in my head. Over time and through conversations and sessions with a professional I was able to unravel enough of the memories to realize, I was a child. I had been judging myself for something I did not do and I had no control over. In the end, it was not the action done to me that needed conviction or clarity, it was the healing of my own self-inflicted renegade judgment I never deserved. It was not an easy process but it’s not the hard part that I remember, it’s the healing that took place. The HEALING that took place, is what I REMEMBER!
Practice: BE STILL
• When you are still, what former things come to mind?
• Ask God to help you lay down what needs to be left in the past and rejoice in the present.
ειρήνη – “Peace” in Greek, reference listed below.
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