Forgiveness

Greetings my friends~

Forgiveness and it’s health benefits is something I have been aware of for a very long time. These benefits and my knowledge came from my Christian upbringing and from reading and studying about it. Many religions and cultures support forgiveness as part of healthy wholesomeness of body, mind and soul. Additionally, I would also be the first to suggest to you the healthy benefits of forgiving others and forgiving yourself. Unfortunately, I do not always followed my own advice.

Coincidentally, I was recently reminded of power of forgiveness, when I unexpectedly triggered a painful memory and chapter in my life. Although my life has progressed and in many ways I’ve moved on, I realized I was still hanging onto some things I simply need to let go of. I had to ask myself some difficult questions and they all started with “WHY?”

For those reading this and those who know me well, this next statement is probably not surprising. The truth is “I’m pretty stubborn.” The real truth is this…pain and mistakes are inevitable but the suffering of such things is optional. I have chosen the later far too often because I told myself, even convinced myself I deserved to suffer more because I should have known better or tried harder. Truth is if I had known better – I would have done better. Life is about learning and growing; most importantly no two individuals learn and grow at the same rate and there’s no magical date or age in which we are granted all wisdom. I have for a long time believed that “things happen for a reason” and “look for the silver-lining” for OTHERS. I would want to punish myself for the same things I would easily forgive others for…

If any of this resonates with you, my hope and prayer is that you forgive yourself as your forgive others. It has taken me a longtime but I think I’ve figured it out. I deserve forgiveness for no other reason that I am sorry and I hope to not repeat the same in the future. I deserve the same forgiveness that I easily extend to others. If this thought process is difficult for you and you believe you need to suffer more than others; PLEASE, I’m begging you reach out to someone so you can start the healing process. You are not your mistakes, they are stepping stones to a better you. You matter and you deserve forgiveness!

Here’s a few suggestions you can try if you need assistance or just have questions .

1. Google counseling services near you

2. Talking with an Educator or Clergy

3. Call a help hotline or a local hospital

4. Reach out to local law enforcement

I was encouraged by the pictures and quotes below and wanted to share them with you. Most of the material is from a website I found and I added a few pictures.

Here’s the link: https://raisingselfawareness.com/

The Bible, being one of the best-selling books of all time, provides a canonical verse that is short and simple. True enough, a common cause for an argument between and among people is how we tend to bring up past mistakes. Doing that will only aggravate the current situation. Stick to the present and resolve it as amicably as possible.

“One who forgives an affront fosters friendship, but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend.”

~Proverbs 17:9

The Quran, regarded as the finest work in classical Arabic literature, provides a divine message that translates to forgiveness being rewarded. Indeed, forgiving and being forgiven are rewarding in so many ways. For believers of the Quran, it means being rewarded by God and for the rest, it could mean differently, like receiving peace of mind.
More often than not, what holds us back from saying we’re sorry is pride. We feel like if we’re the ones to say it first, we lose. But it is a fallacy to believe that asking for forgiveness is a sign of weakness. As quoted from Mahatma Gandhi, it is in fact a brave thing to do.
Martin Luther King, Jr. shares a similar method with Mahatma Gandhi of encouraging people to ask for forgiveness and accept it. In this quote, he juxtaposed opposite concepts to drive his point. In other words, if you’re stuck in the dark holding grudges on yourself or on others, the best way to get out of it is to walk into the light and let go of all your pain and hatred.
Bruce Lee teaches us with this quote that the first step to forgiveness is to actually admit our fault. Though we’re not the ones to throw the first punch in some cases, it doesn’t mean we’re faultless. It’s almost always a two-way scenario where we could have done something to ease the tension. Own up to your mistake and everything else will follow.
The road to forgiveness may be long and hard. But once you are ready and able to forgive yourself and others, things become lighter and better. You start healing from the inside out and that’s the moment where you can say you’ve given yourself the best gift ever.
An issue isn’t always caused by something big or important. Sometimes, they’re pretty much small and simple. Case in point, you might dislike someone who has a different opinion than yours. Start by accepting the fact that each one of us is unique and has his or her own opinion we need to respect.
It is inevitable for us to make mistakes, perhaps some more than others. That is why we need to learn how to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings as well as forgive others for theirs. Otherwise, it is only going to end up as a vicious cycle where we keep hating and blaming each other for mistakes that are bound to happen anyway.
The Dalai Lama is often quoted and for good reason. That is, it somehow provides universal thoughts embraced across groups. This quote, for example, enumerates three essentials that we all should have on a daily basis: love, compassion, and forgiveness.

“There are many benefits of forgiveness. It is rewarding in so many ways, it gives you peace of mind and helps you move forward, beyond your past. Yet, you have to remember that it is not only about extending forgiveness but also about accepting it. Forgive yourself. Forgive everybody.” -https://raisingselfawareness.com/forgiveness-scriptures/

Forgiveness is for you, it releases the heavy burden of carrying it everywhere you go. It is also true that it benefits the other person if they accept it. Remember, you can only take responsibility for you actions and responses.


Forgiveness can lead to:

  • Healthier relationships.
  • Improved mental health.
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility.
  • Lower blood pressure.
  • Fewer symptoms of depression.
  • A stronger immune system.
  • Improved heart health.
  • Improved self-esteem.

In closing, I want to let you know that healing is possible and you are worthy. A simple conversation with a friend provided light to shine through the protective wall I had surrounded myself with.

~Peace~Love~Hope~ Charlotte

References

https://raisingselfawareness.com/

https://www.biblegateway.com/

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692