Without having a wider view or a caption telling us why the fish seems to be jumping out of the bowl, we are left with our imaginations. Have you ever been fishing and when the fish is out of the water, they seem to just flip and flop on the ground as if they need something…They do! Fish need water, like we need oxygen. It’s a terrifying feeling when you can’t catch you breath, as a fish is to water, oxygen is to humans. So, this past weekend I had planned a day of laughter and storytelling with an old friend, sharing a meal and taking in a play at the Indiana Repertory Theater in Indianapolis. Unfortunately, she had to cancel and for good reasons. I am not upset about the cancelling, in fact I’m not upset at all. Disappointed but again, things happen and I’m a firm believer in “God’s” plans in “God’s” time. So, after getting the news of cancellation, I was encouraged by someone close to me, to still go and attend the play as planned. I gotta say…being downtown alone, felt very much like a fish out of water. Sometimes I don’t think my friends realize just how much of a challenge it is for me to do certain things. I understand and know it’s all about learning, growing and experiencing new things. I arrived downtown about two hours before the show was to start. I sat in my car in the parking garage for what seemed like an hour but was closer to 15 minutes. So I get out of the car, look around so I could remember where I parked and then I made my way down to street level. The city was buzzing with lots of people.  Being downtown was both exciting and terrifying. There were a lots of things going on downtown…High School Proms, Firefighter convention, Pacers game…It’s alive and captivating, seeing and hearing the laughter and conversations happening around me was electric. I was surrounded by so many different people and I felt invisible, this was until I experience eye-contact with someone and then I realize I’m not invisible but wished I were. Even though I had no particular reason to look my best, dress better than I normally do, I still wore the new “girl” jeans I purchased at the pleading and begging of a friend, this same friend suggested wearing my hair straight versus the usual messy look which I prefer. We all have beauty and purpose, I’m still learning to appreciate the things I am versus the things I am not. I made my way to the lobby of the IRT, sitting in the outer lounge area waiting for an appropriate time to pick up my tickets at the “Will Call” box office. At about 30 minutes before the play would start I made my way to the counter to pick up my tickets. I over-hear the lady in front of me asking/wanting to buy a ticket, I interrupted their conversation and ask, are you buying a ticket just for yourself? She responded, yes. I said, I have an extra ticket if you would like to have it. She replied yes, “are you sure?” I said absolutely, so I gave it to her and she ask if she should pay me for it? I said no, the only down side to a free ticket means you will be stuck sitting next to me. I made my way to the elevator while she looked around the lobby area. I know she probably told me her name, but in the rush of giving her the ticket, the name did not grab hold of my short-term memory. I proceeded to the seating area only after stopping to purchase a beverage…liquid courage, at least that’s the name given to it sometimes in situations such as this, sitting next to a total stranger. My drink was a Corona Light with a squeeze of a chuck of a lime. There were still a few minutes before show time when the lady I had given the ticket to arrived. I had not mentioned to her earlier that the ticket was for the front row. We quickly starting talking, here’s where I paused and ask her name…she said, Catherine. She was from San Francisco. It was such pleasure to meet her. The play was amazing, and I met someone new. In a very short span of time we exchanged the usual pleasantries and a few more personal things such as family and interests. We may never meet again, but I hope she will see this entry, as I mentioned to her that I was a writer and I was going to be writing about my night at the IRT and meeting her. Catherine, with a “C” it was a delight to meet you and to share in conversation with you. I hope Indianapolis treated you well! Wishing you and your family much joy, health and happiness. May God bless you and your family! I would love to someday visit your city, San Francisco. The overall experience of doing things outside my comfort level proved to be a success. I am so blessed to have so many amazing people in my life. To my followers, thank you! This journey of sharing my thoughts with you is incredible. May God continue to bless each and every one of you.
~Peace and Blessings~

“All who would win joy, must share it; happiness was born a twin.” ~Lord Byron

In honor of San Francisco…and Catherine from San Francisco!

 

 

 

A great fish story…

 

A whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, dreams, plans, wishes, and desires, all have my head spinning like a top. Urging and pleading them to stop and at the same time begging and pleading them to stay. True life, the life I sometimes wish for, the one not so ordinary, the one that opens itself up to the depths, heights and fiery flames of raw passion.  Daily, the media sells passion and fierceness as taboo and dirty. Passion is marketed as perverse, it is dark and dirty and being sold, day after day through film, TV, magazines…the too good to be true, which is all too often the case. Wanting to chase the hunger of lust and ecstasy of desire that was formed within me since long before I came into being. Seeds, that were sown within the fabric and essence of who I am, both good and perhaps the not so good but then again, not all that bad either. There’s a familiar voice that tells me to deny these truths, it often keeps me awake at night! I struggle over the “what if’s” and the “letting go!” Giving myself permission and allow myself to fully and completely submerge myself into experiencing the things I am often too scared and ashamed to give credence and voice to. As, if I alone have these feelings and urges, truths I now know to “not” be so true. These kinds of feelings are not wrong or shameful and should absolutely not make me weird or odd, or freakishy…I have believed the lies I have been fed for most of my life, I was convinced, and lead to believe that normal for me, was and is abnormal. What does that even mean. Normal or abnormal?  This is how I see myself…walking while holding hands, feeling light as air, picnics by the lake, campfires, butterflies in my stomach, laying on the ground at night watching the stars, talking until dawn, laughing, tender and loving, hugging and holding, twisted and tangled, twirling and grinning and yes, blushing, kissing and caressing, skin to skin and soul to soul. There are lots of things I am not, and there are lots of things that I am.

~”The Secret Lies with Charlotte”

 

 

Fun Facts
Charlotte was an English merchant ship of 335 tons built-in the River Thames in 1784 and chartered in 1786 to carry convicts as part of the First Fleet to New South Wales. She was a light sailer, and had to be towed down the English Channel for the first few days of the voyage. Her master was Thomas Gilbert, and her surgeon was John White, principal surgeon to the colony. She returned to Britain from Botany Bay via China, where she picked up a cargo for the British East India Company. Charlotte then spent most of the rest of her career in the London-Jamaica trade. She may have been lost off Newfoundland in 1818; in any case, she disappears from the lists by 1821.