Too Easily Angered, Forgiveness

Make no friendship with an angry man: and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul. ~Proverbs 22:24-25 (KJV)

Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.
~Proverbs 22:24-25 (NIV)

This is the scripture verse for my evening devotional, and I have to admit I am having great difficulty accepting the ramifications associated with the application and meaning of this passage. My co-workers, some of them would describe me as “Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde” which saddens me greatly. Partially because they are correct and because the things that bring out Dr. Jekyll are true statements, the issue is in my animated delivery of said statements. I would like to be able to share bits of wisdom with you about this subject today but honestly I’m struggling with understanding and “owning” this situation myself plus, my own perceived weaknesses of my character. My pride can be a huge obstacle for me at times which often moves me away from humility and causes a distance/a divide between God and myself, and my spirit. I do appreciate truth and continually seek clarity in most things in life; however, those two things are more often than not simply a projection of what I want things to be as opposed to the true reality in the reflection of such things. Honestly, I have a heart that desires truth and acceptance but the reality is, it is so much easier said than done. I have great intentions, it’s my follow-through that needs some consistency. I am uncomfortable in my own skin at this very moment, I feel dark, alone and separated from God. I know that God has not, will not and did not leave me, I’m hiding because my eyes have been opened and my exposed infractions/sins are visible to everyone, at least it feels that way. My sins whether they are committed in secret or alone are openly seen by God, I don’t deserve forgiveness but God is standing with arms open wide, offering love, acceptance and forgiveness; but all I can do is stand and stare at the distance, the great divide between us,  wanting so desperately to run and jump into God’s arms, I feel paralyzed, too ashamed to accept responsibility of my actions and trying to convince myself, that I am in complete control of my world.  My body is reeling with emotions and my heart is aching for acceptance and forgiveness. It only takes a small leap, barely a jump and God will catch me and hold me, love me and forgive me. Pride has no place in God’s family. He sees us from the inside out which is where we usually screw things up by looking at only the outside stuff. The fact that I’m struggling tells me there’s more for me to learn about myself and that changes need to happen from the inside out. The only road that leads to peace is Jesus Christ, a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior, trusting in the love of the Father and allowing the Spirit to completely surround and penetrate our very beings.

Almighty God, take my life, take me and show me your ways. Forgive me and teach me your truth. Shine your light on me and cast away all the darkness that surrounds me. Change me O’ God, mold me into the person you created me to be,  all for your glory and not mine. In Jesus’ Holy and Precious name…Amen!

Friends and readers, trust in God, do not run from Him, seek Him out and learn from Him. Release the grip that sin and pride has on you, shake it off, pull it off, push it off…be victorious one day at a time. Seconds by seconds; minutes by minutes; hour by hour; press on for salvation’s sake!

John 14:27 (NIV)
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

~Blessings and Peace~