As humans we are all born into a sinful nature. With that being said, I am struggling today, hating the facts and truths of my life like…that the person I loved with every part of my being no longer loved me or to have a high school friend show up in my life when I truly needed a friend to just one day decide she no longer wants to talk to me or give me a reason why and to no longer have my mom here with me and all those that loved her…this conditional world is cruel and full of disappointment and I guess most days I accept that and know that this is not my permanent home but today I’m weak, lonely, tired and angry wanting to act upon my anger but knowing that’s not the answer I’m searching for an outlet for this pain I carry inside me. I know God is there and maybe it makes me even weaker thinking I need more. I try so very hard to be all the things that my mom was to me and my family but I fail, I am not strong enough plus, I know that’s not really my role but I just want to love, be loved and help wherever I can, like my mom did. My point, and there is one…sometimes we think we have to hide our “true” self from everyone, I have hidden behind too many things in my life and I’m saying its ok to have days where everything feels wrong and to experience anger, strife, pain and loneliness, God does want us to go to Him but He also gave us family and friends to help lighten our load by sharing and encouraging one another…through tears, laughter, silence, hugging and most definitely prayer. I needed to be reminded of the message I wrote earlier stating that God never promised easy, He promised to always be with us.
My Peace I give you,
My Peace I leave with you!
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.