A place where my thoughts, words and feelings converge…
Category: Portraits of Life – Seeing God in All
I have discovered a new and exciting hobby of taking photos and sharing God’s Words as they inspire me to be in complete “AWE” of how great our God is! I hope you enjoy the photos.
• To bid; to order; to direct; to charge; implying authority, and power to control, and to require obedience.
“We must go a three days’ journey into the wilderness and sacrifice to the Lord our God as he commands us.”~Exodus 8:27
• To direct; to send.
“The Lord will command the blessing upon you in your barns, and in all that you undertake; he will bless you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” ~Deuteronomy 28:8
ειρήνη – “Peace” in Greek, reference listed below.
Today’s word is “Wilderness.” Feel free time join along if you want. I hope you enjoy the photo. It was taken October 28, 2017 during a “Girl’s Weekend” camping trip with some of my friends from my church.
#acclife
Wilderness according to the dictionary means a wild and uncultivated region, as of forest or desert, uninhabited or inhabited only by wild animals; a tract of wasteland.
Some examples of wilderness in the Bible are:
Ezekiel 34:24-25, “And I, the Lord, will be their God, and my servant David shall be prince among them; I, the Lord , have spoken. I will make with them a covenant of peace and banish wild animals from the land, so that they may live in the wild and sleep in the woods securely.”
Isaiah 43:19-21, “I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. The wild animals will honor me, the jackals and the ostriches; for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself so that they might declare my praise.”
Mark 1:12-13, “And the Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness. He was in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan; and he was with the wild beasts; and the angels waited on him.”
When thinking about the word, “wilderness” I have experienced it a couple of different ways as it relates to life in general and living a Christian life. The wilderness can be a sense of being lost or confused, as a kid I spent a lot of time in a woods near my home. If I wasn’t careful I could easily get lost or be directionally challenged if I didn’t pay attention to landscape. In the same respect, the wilderness can be a place of quiet respite. As a kid I loved going into the woods to pick wild flowers for my mom, well I learned later in life they were weeds but pretty weeds nonetheless. My mom would also take my brother and I fishing in those same woods in old mining pits. My wilderness holds lots of precious memories for me. It also holds some frightening truths about my childhood but I now know that I serve a God that is with me no matter where I go or where I’ve been.
ειρήνη – “Peace” in Greek, reference listed below.
Today is Thursday, February 27th, 2020. Our scripture verse today is Psalm 51:1-2, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.”
Lent is about us looking into a mirror and seeing our hearts. Taking a hard look at ourselves on the inside and facing our own truths is very difficult. This season of Lent is asking us to be honest with ourselves and with the sin that is in our lives. In doing these difficult yet necessary steps we make room for God to come into our lives and give us new insights, to teach us His Will. This willingness to take an open and honest look at our hearts and what they reflect, will provide space for healing and repentance to occur. Remember, there are no right or wrong, good or bad answers when reflecting. Simply naming and claiming the distractions that keep us from a healthy and full relationship with God. In order to begin any journey one must know where they are before they can start.
As we continue on our journey of repentance and lamenting, I pray for courage and God’s abundant grace. Below is a poem I read tonight during my devotional time and I wanted to share it with you.
An activity suggested in the devotional pamphlet I am reading is to draw a heart and ask God to help you examine your heart. Ask yourself:
• “What does it reflect?”
• “What do you want it to reflect?”
In a time of reflection read Psalm 51:1-10 as a prayer.
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you alone, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are justified in your sentence and blameless when you pass judgment. Indeed, I was born guilty, a sinner when my mother conceived me. You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.” -Psalm 51:1-10
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, creator of all things, I give thanks to you. I am thankful for the Holy Spirit guiding me through life. And, Lord Jesus I am thankful that you selfishly gave yourself to the cross so that all who believe and profess you as Lord and Savior would have life eternal. Jesus, you conquered the grave, defeated death and rose again! Forgive me of my sins and please be with me in all that I do and say, to bring glory to you. I ask all these things in Jesus name. Amen.
Here’s my heart drawing. Heart are typically red but my favorite color is green so a green background with a red heart. May the green serve as fertile soil so that I may grow in God’s will and spread His love wherever I go and with everyone I meet.
ειρήνη – “Peace” in Greek, reference listed below.
I attended a beautiful Ash Wednesday service at my church tonight. As we entered the Chapel area we were invited to write down on paper a “repent” or a “lament.” During the service those notes were burned in a small fire safe container and then were mixed with gypsum. After we received our ashes we were invited to prepare the canvas using the mixture of ashes and gypsum. It was a wonderful experience, knowing and visualizing that God can use the ashes (mistakes and wrongdoings) of our lives and refresh and renew us. The season of Lent is a time of reflection and repentance. It is an opportunity to reflect upon what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Lent is a season to observe and commemorate the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
I hope you will join me during this season and we can learn and journey together.
Welcome to Lent 2020! Last evening I had the privilege of attending “Pancakes & Jazz” at my church. It’s an annual event we sponsor to provide support for “Family Promise” a local organization that provides for the Homeless of Hendricks County.
Ash Wednesday is a Christian holy day of prayer and fasting. … Ash Wednesday derives its name from the placing of repentance ashes on the foreheads of participants to either the words from Mark 1:15 “Repent, and believe in the Gospel” or Genesis 3:19 “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”
Week 1 – REPENT
The scripture verse for today is Matthew 6:6, “But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
Lent can be different things to different people for a multitude of reasons. The season of Lent is preparation leading up to Easter. Some may choose to give something up during this season such as chocolate or soda, an item that serves as a luxury and might even be difficult to give up for the season of Lent. Other devote themselves to doing acts of kindness and generosity during Lent. There’s no wrong way to experience Lent as long as the goal is to draw yourself closer to God. It an opportunity to deepen and strengthen our relationship with God, our Savior and Redeemer. Jesus was driven into the wilderness and was tempted by satan, and although Lent quite different from what Jesus endured it is similar to a wilderness in that it is uneasy and often very uncomfortable since it is a time of reflection and repenting. The scripture verse for today provides instructions on how we should pray, we should go into a secret place where we can seek and ask for God’s forgiveness. While in this wilderness we are to examine our lives, how we live them and how we treat others. The two greatest commandments are “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind” and “‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” -Matthew 22:37,39
Matthew 22:36-40, “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”
I hope you choose to join me on my journey through Lent, the next forty days will hopefully lead us to a revival and a renewing of ourselves and revive as well as deepen our relationship with God, ourselves and our neighbors.
Matthew 6:1-21
“Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. “So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. “Pray then in this way: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not bring us to the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. “And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
This is a painting of Jesus that I grew up with at my church. I recently learned of its origin and name. The Head of Christ, also called the Sallman Head, is a 1940 portrait painting of Jesus of Nazareth by American artist Warner Sallman (1892–1968).
Oh God, my rock and my redeemer! Thank you for the opportunity to share your words with the world. My prayer is that all who read and hear your words would come to know you in a personal way. I ask that the Holy Spirit will lead us towards your Son, Jesus. May we all seek forgiveness and renewal as we travel through life’s wilderness. I ask all these things is Jesus name. Amen. 🙏🏻
The Ballad of Reading Gaol
Oscar Wilde
And thus we rust Life’s iron chain Degraded and alone: And some men curse, and some men weep, And some men make no moan: But God’s eternal Laws are kind And break the heart of stone.
And every human heart that breaks, In prison-cell or yard, Is as that broken box that gave Its treasure to the Lord, And filled the unclean leper’s house With the scent of costliest nard.
Ah! happy day they whose hearts can break And peace of pardon win! How else may man make straight his plan And cleanse his soul from Sin? How else but through a broken heart May Lord Christ enter in?
It is almost time for Lent 2020! I’m excited to share with you the pamphlet I will be using during my Lenten journey and I am inviting you along. Pamphlets are available through Amazon in kindle and paper formats, they are also available at Barnes & Noble. I hope you considering joining me as I immerse myself God’s Word by reading prepared daily devotionals written by Reverend Sam McGlothlin. He will be sharing 7 R’s:
• Repent
• Recover
• Remember
• Rest
• Release
• Rise
•Relive
The first day of Lent will be Wednesday, February 26, 2020! Thank you each for your continued support of my blog space. I truly appreciate each person and I pray that you are able to experience God in a new way and perhaps for the first time. I am so blessed and astonished every time I view my stats and see the different countries represented. The countries are places I can only dream of someday visiting. You all warm my heart! ❤️
Here’s just a snapshot of my most recent post and views around the world. God is good!
Forgiveness and it’s health benefits is something I have been aware of for a very long time. These benefits and my knowledge came from my Christian upbringing and from reading and studying about it. Many religions and cultures support forgiveness as part of healthy wholesomeness of body, mind and soul. Additionally, I would also be the first to suggest to you the healthy benefits of forgiving others and forgiving yourself. Unfortunately, I do not always followed my own advice.
Coincidentally, I was recently reminded of power of forgiveness, when I unexpectedly triggered a painful memory and chapter in my life. Although my life has progressed and in many ways I’ve moved on, I realized I was still hanging onto some things I simply need to let go of. I had to ask myself some difficult questions and they all started with “WHY?”
For those reading this and those who know me well, this next statement is probably not surprising. The truth is “I’m pretty stubborn.” The real truth is this…pain and mistakes are inevitable but the suffering of such things is optional. I have chosen the later far too often because I told myself, even convinced myself I deserved to suffer more because I should have known better or tried harder. Truth is if I had known better – I would have done better. Life is about learning and growing; most importantly no two individuals learn and grow at the same rate and there’s no magical date or age in which we are granted all wisdom. I have for a long time believed that “things happen for a reason” and “look for the silver-lining” for OTHERS. I would want to punish myself for the same things I would easily forgive others for…
If any of this resonates with you, my hope and prayer is that you forgive yourself as your forgive others. It has taken me a longtime but I think I’ve figured it out. I deserve forgiveness for no other reason that I am sorry and I hope to not repeat the same in the future. I deserve the same forgiveness that I easily extend to others. If this thought process is difficult for you and you believe you need to suffer more than others; PLEASE, I’m begging you reach out to someone so you can start the healing process. You are not your mistakes, they are stepping stones to a better you. You matter and you deserve forgiveness!
Here’s a few suggestions you can try if you need assistance or just have questions .
1. Google counseling services near you
2. Talking with an Educator or Clergy
3. Call a help hotline or a local hospital
4. Reach out to local law enforcement
I was encouraged by the pictures and quotes below and wanted to share them with you. Most of the material is from a website I found and I added a few pictures.
The Bible, being one of the best-selling books of all time, provides a canonical verse that is short and simple. True enough, a common cause for an argument between and among people is how we tend to bring up past mistakes. Doing that will only aggravate the current situation. Stick to the present and resolve it as amicably as possible.
“One who forgives an affront fosters friendship, but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend.”
~Proverbs 17:9
The Quran, regarded as the finest work in classical Arabic literature, provides a divine message that translates to forgiveness being rewarded. Indeed, forgiving and being forgiven are rewarding in so many ways. For believers of the Quran, it means being rewarded by God and for the rest, it could mean differently, like receiving peace of mind.
More often than not, what holds us back from saying we’re sorry is pride. We feel like if we’re the ones to say it first, we lose. But it is a fallacy to believe that asking for forgiveness is a sign of weakness. As quoted from Mahatma Gandhi, it is in fact a brave thing to do.
Martin Luther King, Jr. shares a similar method with Mahatma Gandhi of encouraging people to ask for forgiveness and accept it. In this quote, he juxtaposed opposite concepts to drive his point. In other words, if you’re stuck in the dark holding grudges on yourself or on others, the best way to get out of it is to walk into the light and let go of all your pain and hatred.
Bruce Lee teaches us with this quote that the first step to forgiveness is to actually admit our fault. Though we’re not the ones to throw the first punch in some cases, it doesn’t mean we’re faultless. It’s almost always a two-way scenario where we could have done something to ease the tension. Own up to your mistake and everything else will follow.
The road to forgiveness may be long and hard. But once you are ready and able to forgive yourself and others, things become lighter and better. You start healing from the inside out and that’s the moment where you can say you’ve given yourself the best gift ever.
An issue isn’t always caused by something big or important. Sometimes, they’re pretty much small and simple. Case in point, you might dislike someone who has a different opinion than yours. Start by accepting the fact that each one of us is unique and has his or her own opinion we need to respect.
It is inevitable for us to make mistakes, perhaps some more than others. That is why we need to learn how to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings as well as forgive others for theirs. Otherwise, it is only going to end up as a vicious cycle where we keep hating and blaming each other for mistakes that are bound to happen anyway.
The Dalai Lama is often quoted and for good reason. That is, it somehow provides universal thoughts embraced across groups. This quote, for example, enumerates three essentials that we all should have on a daily basis: love, compassion, and forgiveness.
“There are many benefits of forgiveness. It is rewarding in so many ways, it gives you peace of mind and helps you move forward, beyond your past. Yet, you have to remember that it is not only about extending forgiveness but also about accepting it. Forgive yourself. Forgive everybody.” -https://raisingselfawareness.com/forgiveness-scriptures/
Forgiveness is for you, it releases the heavy burden of carrying it everywhere you go. It is also true that it benefits the other person if they accept it. Remember, you can only take responsibility for you actions and responses.
Forgiveness can lead to:
Healthier relationships.
Improved mental health.
Less anxiety, stress and hostility.
Lower blood pressure.
Fewer symptoms of depression.
A stronger immune system.
Improved heart health.
Improved self-esteem.
In closing, I want to let you know that healing is possible and you are worthy. A simple conversation with a friend provided light to shine through the protective wall I had surrounded myself with.
Dearest friends! I am writing to share with you good news about the “Good News!”
Lately, I have been in a dark place and I tell you this not for pity or excuses. I am sharing life’s challenges in hopes to help others navigate life. I was diagnosed with depression many years ago, I try to keep it in the lower case “d” whenever possible but that is not always easily managed. I recently discovered that just a year ago I was also struggling, thanks to FB sharing posts from 1 year ago, I saw a correlation with my state of mind. On February 6, 2019, I wrote the following and posted it on Twitter & FB on February 19, 2019.
The good news I want to share with you is, you are never alone and you do not need to fear. God is always with you. Below are some of my favorite verses, I hope you find comfort and strength in them as I do.
“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people.” ~Luke 2:10
“And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” ~Matthew 28:20b
“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”~Romans 8:38-39
“Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” ~Isaiah 41:10
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” ~Philippians 4:13
Today, and everyday but most especially today I give thanks to God for His love, His grace, His mercy and His forgiveness. Over the past few days I have been blessed time and again. I tell you God is real and His love is real and unconditional. I pray you know Him is a personal way and have accepted Him as your Lord and Savior! Amen!
I have had several friends reach out to me, checking on me and asking how I’m doing. A couple of days ago, I went to see a movie and had dinner with a friend, we had great conversation over dinner. It felt good to be “alive and participating in life!” Yesterday, two very dear friends invited me to dinner and I had a wonderful time sharing in a meal and in conversation with them as well as with our waitress, “thanks Madison!” It felt good to be “alive and participating in life!” Yesterday morning, “morning” is relative only to the fact I got up and out of bed! I decided to be productive and doing some things around the house I had been neglecting for far too long. I did laundry, dishes, vacuumed, dusted, rearranged furniture…busy, busy, busy!!! It felt good to be “alive and participating in life!” As I was cleaning I ran across a steno pad, I thought nothing of it at first thinking it was one I had used for calculating my budget and spending but it was rather thin. Upon closer examination, I discovered it contained a note that I had written back in 2009. 2009 was a very difficult time in my life, second only to losing my mom. I had just been informed by the person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, no longer felt the same. My world, as I knew it ceased to be and I was devastated and I lashed out. I sat at my dining room table and read the few pages. It immediately transported me back in time to a place and feelings I had neatly tucked away. I simply sat with my thoughts but really needed to process what had just happened. I had not seen that notepad probably since 2009, and how did it end up on my dining room table. I still don’t know for sure but my guess is I had placed it with some of my Christmas stuff, maybe it had been in the drawer with old cards or ribbons and I just didn’t notice. The how it surfaced is really irrelevant to me, I believe that God wanted me to see those words I had written so long ago to remind me that I’m not the same person today. I wrote some hurtful things but they were how I felt at the time. I also noticed something else after reading my note, the response I received. At the time, I was so hurt I could not see past my own feelings. Today, I realized that it took a lot of strength and courage to say the things that were told to me. I am just so sorry it took me so long to recognize it. We have both moved on and we remain friends and the bond of our friendship continues to grow with each passing year.
So, after some contemplating, I reached out to a very trusted friend. I shared most of the above information and felt relief after sharing. I decide I wanted to share this story with the other individual in my story but was not sure if I should talk with my counselor about it first…so, I had decided to wait…… waiting…… my phone rings, it is my friend and ex. It was a call to check in on me to make sure I was doing ok. I thought to myself, this is a window of opportunity sent by God. So I shared, I cried, I felt relief as I shared my thoughts and insight. The relief was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My friend was so supportive and reassuring, such grace and compassion. It felt good to be “alive and participating in life!” I am so Blessed!! All praise and glory are to God alone. I am very hardheaded and stubborn, to put it mildly. I am really good at forgiving others, not so much with myself. Today, I learned (again) by refusing to forgive myself, doesn’t just hurt me but it also hurts my ability to feel alive and to participate in life. It’s not easy and if you struggle with forgiveness as I do, I pray you begin to see the benefits of unloading some old baggage you’ve been carrying for way too long. I wish you much peace, joy and love…”It is good to be alive and participating in life!”
Special thanks to all my readers and supporters! God is working miracles through you!
Special thanks to those I’ve hurt in the past, please forgive me and I pray for your happiness. It bring me joy to know you have joy! You are loved! ❣️
I have been experiencing moments of extreme anger lately when I leave my home. My anger is fueled by people! People who are irresponsible and selfish. My first and biggest issue is “trash” almost everywhere I go there is some kind of littering. I walk out my door and careless individuals leave trails of items from there doors to the trash dumpsters. The parking lots have cups and cans and bags to bottle caps. The roadways are littered on all sides. I see fast food containers and bags, furniture and tires. I personally do not litter and when possible I pick up things and dispose of them properly and that too angers me.
The second thing that irritates me is parking, rather parking in places that are clearly posted “NO PARKING!” I do not understand why people feel entitled to park in front of a store, they cannot be in any more of a rush than anyone else. No enforcement to make people abide by the rules that the other 99% of us have to do. By turning a blind-eye to this behavior the stores and establishments are basically giving their stamp of approval for it to continue. And, another thing about these places of business, most have made accommodations for shopping carts to be placed for the convenience of the stores in retrieving the carts and to protect the consumers from damage from carts. People are so lazy they just leave them pretty much where they emptied them in the parking lot. I try to take the cart back into the store when possible or at least to the designated spaces in the lot. If I see abandon carts when entering a store I typically grab a cart or two as I enter the store!
Number #3 on my list of complaints is lazy people in the grocery/department stores when they decide they no longer want to purchase an item, they just place it at the spot they are at! “Decided not to purchase fresh chicken, but you’re now in the toy isle, oh well…someone gets paid to put this back!” 😡🤬🤯. Really…to make things worse, that item most likely gets put back on the shelf after sitting in the toy isle for who knows how long! Attention: yes workers get paid to stock the shelves, their job was not designed around shoppers inability to be responsible for their own actions.
It is literally a chore for me to leave my home, my sanctuary! I don’t like to feel angry all the time, I find it difficult to express care and concern for others when I see them displaying some of these things I’ve listed. My patience is thin and short, which in turns fuels my opinions and cynicism. I don’t like myself very much when that happens, I know I am not judge and jury and may God forgive me for this behavior. I simply felt compelled to share my thoughts and give rise to my voice. I do not want to merely complain and add to the problem, I sincerely want to help. For now and until God leads me to do otherwise, I will continue to do my part in being a responsible person and take responsibility for my actions. And in reality I simply expect the same in return. I need to remind myself that I cannot make people care. “You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink!”
May the love of God surround you and fill you! I love this song and when I hear it, it takes me back to when I was a child. I am immediately transported to the church I grew up in. I’m standing in front of the wooden pews, holding a hymnal and singing this song. I can see my Sunday school teacher, Birdie Smith…and she’s smiling! This, I find comfort in.
~Peace To You, My Friends~
“Truly the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love, to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine. Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and shield. Our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.” ~Psalm 33:18-22
I am thankful for this medium in which I can share my thoughts. I have found much comfort in your support of my blog space, in return it is my sincere hope to do the same in return. I have found and continue to find many writers that enlighten me to things and places I have only dream about. I have had the opportunity to meet individuals and read of their adventures, joys, struggles and ideologies of the world; all with mutual respect for one another. This is a world I so wish could exist beyond this space. I have not tried to hide my feelings when I share with my readers through this platform. I do; however, attempt to do so in many of my one on one relationships for a list of unfounded reasons. All of those reasons, are absolutely unfounded in any type of truth. At some point in my life I learned a lesson that has not served me well, yet it remains like a natural reflex. The idea that to share deep pain and frustration with people who care about you is wrong and is a character flaw. Nothing could be further from the truth! It is with those individuals that love us and care for us that we should be most comfortable sharing these struggles. I cannot quote you statistics or scientific studies for why some individuals feel this way, I can only speak from my own personal experiences. I could spend the time researching it and could provide such things but I do not see its relevance in assisting me at this juncture in my life. I believe this chiefly because I know the benefits of trusting and sharing, I just do not always rise to the occasion.
I know myself pretty well and accept that I struggle with depression and that my control of the disease is not always a choice. I like being in charge and when that option is not available it is uncomfortable. Depression is a part of my life, I can do things to help elevate the depths of its grasp on me such as eating healthy, exercising, restful sleep, engage in hobbies, attend social gatherings, spent time with friends and family, listen to music, journal, pray, attend church…these are things I have tried and continue to use. Depression is not something to be ashamed of or something to hide, it is also not to be used as an excuse. Depression does not dominate my life, I can go long periods of time and rarely give it a second thought. There are also times when I can sense change coming and I am able to walk with my depression with little interruptions to my day to day activities. And then, there are times it hits me like walking into a brick wall. I feel attacked and defenseless, taken by surprise and it feels like the wind has been knocked out of me, literally. I feel numb and things appear to be in slow motion. It’s terrifying and inviting all wrapped up together. I’m learning to rely on my friends and family during these times, and it’s not easy but it’s the right thing to do. I urge you to have a plan if any of this resonates with you, confide in someone and trust them with your truth. I promise you that you have more people who love you than you realize. I believe with all my heart that we do not meet people by accident. Our interactions with people make a difference whether we know it or not. I love the plant analogy used where our interactions with others is as if we are planting seeds everywhere we go. Sometimes, we get to see it grow and mature and other times we must trust that once the seed is planted it will be watered and nurtured by someone else. God is the Great Creator and works all things together for good! We must trust God, the Great Gardener of the Universe.
Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”
I recently attended a “Suicide Awareness” training class for my job, and it evoked a lot of emotions. In the short time I have been employed at my current job, at least three people I’ve personally known have committed suicide. I was surprised by each one, questioned myself about missing signs and could I have done something. The training was beneficial though none of the information was anything radically new, other than the rising statistics. “Suicide is a permanent solution to a short term problem.” I’ve never attempted suicide but I have thought about it many times and imagined numerous scenarios in my mind. When I was in my twenties I was is a terrible car accident, I can still remember it happening and thinking to myself “I don’t want to die.” At that time in my life, I was struggling with a bad breakup and thinking to myself, “I’ll never get over this, my life is over. I can’t move past this.” I thank God for His protection and enormous amount of patience with me. I survived the accident with only a few scratches, my car was not as fortunate. Since then I have experienced time and again “things I never thought I would get past but here I am and I did!” I can say with confidence that I’m thankful for all the tough things I’ve endured because they helped me grow in ways I never imagined or expected. God used those seemingly unbearable things as opportunities for self-reflection so that I can now share with you. Things are replaceable, people are not. We are not guaranteed a lifetime with people, cherish your loved ones so that when they pass they will remain in your hearts. I lost my mom in 2012, I still think of her everyday and miss her dearly but mostly I’m thankful for who she was and the legacy she left with everyone who ever met her. She planted a lot of seeds and I’m seeing those seeds grow and mature. I love that!
Sadness is a place that we all travel through from time to time. Watch out for the caution signs as you travel, beware of dangerous intersections and whenever possible travel with a trusted friend. Be observant and alert, be careful of detours and trust your instincts. Remember to have fun on your journey and be kind to yourself. Life is not about having all the answers or about never making a mistake, it’s asking more questions, and learning new ways of doing things. Let the adventure begin…
When I began this post, I was at the corner of Sad/Wallow. I am happy to report that I am now at the intersection of Wonder/Opportunity. Thank you for joining me.
Numbers 6:24-26, “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.”
~Faith~Peace~Renewal~Bold~Clarity
There Once was a Girl
There once was a girl, she cared a lot and gave a lot
There once was girl that fell in love, she loved a lot and gave a lot
There once was a girl that lost her love, she cried a lot and hurt a lot.
She tried and tried to move beyond the pain and the hurt.
There was once a girl, filled with wonder and cheer
There once was a girl she gave her heart away
There was once a girl, she had her heart returned and it hurt a lot
She cried and cried and tried to forget
She tried and tried to move beyond the pain, beyond the hurt
There was once a girl, she cared a lot, gave a lot, loved a lot …lost a lot
My hope is in you. 1 Timothy 6:17 As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. Psalm 71:5 For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth.
DISCOVER 
You must be logged in to post a comment.