January 1, 2020
2019 has come and gone; whether it was filled with good or challenging things I want to pause and thank God for the opportunities to be a part of the story and journey. I am sincerely grateful you joined me on my spiritual wondering in 2019 and I hope you are able to travel along in 2020.
I have spent the last month writing and talking about Advent and the anticipation of Jesus’ birth. It was a time of Hope~Peace~Joy~Love! It was also a time of Faith, faith in the prophecies foretold in the scriptures and faith in God fulfilling His promises.
A few days ago I received an email from One Word 365 (http://oneword365.com); it was asking if I had picked a word for 2020. I had not, so I began to pray about it and asking God for guidance and insight. On the morning of 12/31/2019, I awoke and the word on my heart was “FAITH.” I was not exactly sure and still do not know where this word will lead me, but I trust that God has a plan. As I began my day, looking around my home I was suddenly struck by something I have looked at nearly every day since August 2019, it is a beautiful frame that a dear friend had given to me as a birthday gift! I smiled and thought to myself, “It’s a God Thing!”
I’m thankful for my faithful friend and for this amazing gift and keeps giving long after the celebration. I purposely use the word faithful because my friendship with this person has lasted many decades and long periods of little contact and yet we I see her it is as if no time has passed. In many ways there’s a kindred sister like spirit between us, I’m so thankful for her caring and loving spirit. She is a blessing to me and to do many others.
I know how faith is described in the Bible but I also wanted to see other definitions of the word so I went to the Merriam Dictionary for additional meanings:
• allegiance to duty or a person LOYALTY
• fidelity to one’s promises
• sincerity of intentions
• belief and trust in and loyalty to God
• belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion
• firm belief in something for which there is no proof
• complete trust
• something that is believed especially with strong conviction
• a system of religious beliefs
• without question
I am looking into 2020 with optimism, I am blessed to be on this journey and I’m seeking to serve God in the coming year. This past year had many challenges and most of them are still lingering around. Some days I see them more as obstacles rather than opportunities. I have found myself fighting systems that seem broken from my viewpoint, sadly not everyone else sees what I see. I have learned, although with much difficulties that my vantage point often only makes sense to me and in most if not all cases serve to benefit me. If I were in an individual environment all the time my viewpoint might be ok; however, that is not the case. I tend to be a bit of a perfectionists, I like to have a system and for it to be followed. I’m overbearing, I had to admit but my ex’s and friends don’t lie. I really do mean good but it does not always seem that way. I am hoping to improve upon some of my less attractive features in the coming year. Some days I amaze myself at my stubbornness. I grew up with friends and playing on team sports, sharing and carrying burdens as a group. Over the past decade I’ve been more reserved and have spent a lot of time alone, not excuses or even reasons why I’m different, simply facts.
This past decade I lost my mom to either an aneurysm or possible heart attack, went through a breakup of decade long committed relationship and reunited with an old relationship that ended nearly as quickly as it reignited. My job, which I love and find rewarding has brought disappointments from management and supervision, my work hours, days off and people I work with have changed several times. I’ve experienced hands-on management and no-hands management; I’ve seen my evaluation scores decrease every year since the current management changes and they do not correlate with actual performance. When employees feel valued they perform better.
With all that being said, I still love my job. I love the daily task that I do and some of the individuals I work with. I’ve learned a lot of things about myself through all these changes and challenges, as well as learning about others I work with and for. I’ve posted in previous blogs the lessons I learned about control and concern, I have many concerns and even ideas but I am not in control. My stubbornness has got me into some sticky situations when I assume control of things I am not, just because it’s a good idea and even logical and maybe time saving and did I say logical (?)…if you’re not the person with the control it is only a concern.
“So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”
2 Corinthians 5:7
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”
~Keep the Faith~ 2 Timothy 4:7