I guess it happens sooner or later to all of us. It’s funny I don’t “feel” old on the inside, although there are signs of aging. Pills for this ache and that pain, stuff to make to go and stuff to make you stop. It becomes a never-ending cycle. I have nothing but the words and spoken experiences from others describing “growing old.” My feelings are mine alone and  as much as I try to empathize with others, there’s no exact sharing of feelings. I am still a daughter, sister, aunt and cousin…I still crave and want love, encouragement and support from my parents. All those feelings came to an abrupt standstill on the day I was told by an emergency technician my mom was gone. Almost instantly everything changed in my life. The sudden loss of my mom left me numb for several months, I immediately stepped into the shoes once worn by my mom, they were big shoes and I tried my very best to fill them. I love my family, perhaps more deeply because of this experience. My sadness is selfish, I miss my Saturday phone calls from my mom, the voice messages saying, “This is your mom, call me.” I miss hugs and kisses, I miss her laughter, I miss her spirit and spunk, her strength, her dedication to her family and friends, her sacrifices for her family, her sense of morality, fairness and commitment. She was not perfect, she was not a saint, she was strong-willed and made no apologies for the things she believed in. I’m selfish because I know that I’ll never celebrate another holiday or birthday with her, I’ll never taste her cooking again, and never hear her say “I love you, Charlotte.” With all that said, I am thankful that she is no longer in pain from working too many hours for way too many years, she is remembered by many and she touched many lives and her character will live on in her legacy. As Thanksgiving is fast approaching, I am thankful for all I have and for the things I no longer have. Loss, though painful is part of the cycle of life. Death, may have taken the body of my mom, but her spirit continues and she lives on in my memories. Grief is a process, so I’ve been told and even read about…my grief is a part of me and we are learning to co-exist with one another. In closing I want to impress upon you that we are all a work-in-progress…I’m still learning and growing, I know God is in me and He has a plan. At this Thanksgiving make a list of things you’re thankful for, I’m sure you will see that you have an abundance! Not perfection, definite blessings!

~Blessings and Peace~

I am thankful for…
Freedom
Clothing
Food
Shelter
Clean drinking water
Electricity
Medication
Job
Health insurance
Family
Friends
Vehicle
Books
Bibles
Computer
Paper
Pens
….you give it a try!

Tenth Avenue Nation has a song titled “No Man is an Island” when I hear it on the radio I see snippet’s of my life as if I’m looking through a viewfinder or watching a slide show. Seeing single moments in time, frame by frame. Life often seems so much clearer when viewed in hindsight with the advantages of time, experience and maturity. One important thing to remember when looking back, do so with mercy and grace most especially because with years gone by one learns bits of wisdom along the way. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “if only I knew then, what I know now…” I know I have used this saying more than once in my life, but truly the statement holds no truths, we know now because of experiences, time and maturity. The truth for me is my life experiences; the good and the bad, because they have allowed me to learn life lessons and hopefully gained some wisdom along the way. Some of these life lessons took longer to learn than others and some I’m still trying to learn and understand. It can become easy to pass judgment on others when see mistakes others make that we have already experienced and learned from, but this is a dangerous, slippery slope to traverse and one that puffs up our egos and pridefulness.  It is often easier to see the faults in those around us, before we recognize our own due to our pride and conceit. Not one single human being is without sin, God’s Word is very clear that we are not to be a “stumbling block” to others and that God is the one and only true judge. 1 Corinthians 8:9 “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak.” Romans 14:13 “Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.” Psalm 75:7 “It is God who judges: He brings one down, He exalts another.” He alone knows our hearts, our minds, our actions and our words. We are to help one another, encourage each other and to seek God’s Will. God calls us to be His hands and feet in this world, to show compassion and share His love. Be kind to yourself, seek God and share all with God. He delights in His children. Psalm 149:4 “For the Lord takes delight in his people; He crowns the humble with victory.”

~Peace Be With You~

As a believer and follower of Christ Jesus, who has been blessed with gifts of giving and helping others should I ever feel depleted of time and energy? I find myself questioning my call, asking if there’s something wrong with me. Some days it’s difficult to get up and even pursue things known to bring feelings of fulfillment and giving back to others and to the world around me. I am conscientious of people and things even when I feel like saying “why?” “What differences do I made in this crazy mixed up world?” Things like taking a shopping cart from the parking lot as I’m walking into a store and once I’ve emptied the cart into my vehicle, take the time to return it to the store or at least the designated cart returns. I know it’s not much but I feel compelled to do it. I often observe people in the building where I work and if they seem lost or confused, I will approach them and ask if they need help. I also like to make eye contact with others and give them a “nod” “smile”or a “friendly word” most especially when they seem down or distracted. Another way of helping others I learned a long time ago listening to a student pastors message, she helped me to see that often we have the power to help endless people on a daily basis, this smallest of things yet more powerful than physically doing a task is to PRAY! To this day when I see or hear sirens I say a prayer for the emergency personnel as well as the people involved in and around whatever emergency is happening. The power of prayer is impossible to measure and we may never truly know the consequences or outcomes but we do know that God’s Will, will be carried out and His promises are everlasting. God loves all His children and He most certainly loves you, whatever your gifts and talents may be, most importantly love yourself and do the things you need to do to re-energize and fill your tank so you will be active and alert to do God’s Will. Back to my original question, “Should I ever feel depleted of time and energy? The answer, we are human and experience human emotions. Tell yourself what you would tell someone else…our humanness requires rest and rejuvenation, find the things that fill you, energize you and feel alive…do these things often and stay connected to God, most especially when you’re questioning and tired. God wants all of us, not just the days we are feeling our best.

~God loves you, You are so Loved!~

Matthew 11:28-30 (NRSV)
“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”