Lent 2014-What will you seek to receive? I want to share mine with you…
What to give up? My fear of FEAR
What to give? LOVE
– Thank God for everything (All of it)
– Tell fear I will face you
Paul wrote, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”
– Philippians 4:11 (NIV)
Direct me in the path of your commands,for there I find delight.
– Psalms 119:35 (NIV)
03/05/2014: Ash Wednesday, the service was emotional for me, it gave me cause in considering our mortality and a realization that I am NOT in control, God is! I am allowing myself to be being controlled by false ideation of being the central part of the solutions but I desperately need to trust God which means giving up the reins of my life and my selfishness. It is time to face my fears and to bring them out into the light where darkness can’t hide and give false security. As I drove home from the service I kept thinking that if I were gone tomorrow what would happen to all the things I think are mine alone to do or can only be done me…somehow the pieces I’ve left behind would somehow get picked up, they would not simply disappear because I was gone, someone else would take over. I also thought about my mom and the emptiness my family has felt since her passing almost two years ago and as I see my father aging and his body doesn’t work like it used to, it saddens me to see him so fragile, and if his time to leave this earth is before mine will the void within me collapse and seal the pain that haunts or will it completely engulf me? The root cause of my emotions is fear, I’m so frightened all the time, fears of loneliness, emptiness, intimacy, of being me, the person God created me to be; why am I so scared of all these things and more? As I begin my Lenten journey I am seeking to fully experience and participate in this season of reflection, remembrance and renewed spirit. I was also reminded at the Ash Wednesday service that this season is about three things:
Giving of Alms
Through these things we are recipients of mercy and beneficiaries of grace given by our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Create in me a clean heart, O God.
~Blessing and Peace~