My Secret Garden

November 14th, 2023

Hello friends & family~

Over the past twelve years I have found solace at this gravesite . Anytime I needed to share my thoughts out loud to my mom, this was the place. I know the grave only holds the remains of my mom’s earthly shell of a body. Truth is I know and have the ability to have a conversation (sort of) anyplace or anytime. In a sense it’s like praying, talking things out. The “talking” things out is an outlet for me. Over the years, my need to do this has lessened and lessened. This is in part that I live over an hour away from the cemetery. The truth is, I have no way of knowing if my mom can hear my verbal cries for help or my words of excitement and joy. I do know that God does, and that’s enough for me. I do like to visit the cemetery and place new flowers and decorate for holidays. This is another way of caring for my parents. I just shared with a friend yesterday, (I know this sounds silly), but staying true to who I am being authentic, I said to her, “I’m going to feel a bit uneasy going to the gravesite to talk with mom now that dad will be there too.” (My dad passed away on Saturday, November 11th). See, silly…right! He’s not going to be there anymore than my mom is there. I love my parents equally; however, there are times when a girl needs her mom, some conversations are simply meant for “mother/daughter.”

Truth may be that I have been just holding onto my mom’s memory, not wanting to let go. It’s difficult to lose the physical presence of a loved one, there’s a void that feels like emptiness. Is it really, though? I have a lifetime of memories of both my parents that fills me with overflowing joy. That joy will sometimes be seen through tears, happy tears expressing the love that endures.

I am not the first person to grieve the death of a parent, what’s happening to me is no different than anyone else that must say “goodbye” to a parent. I’m at an age where many of my friends have had to say, final goodbye to their parents. And, though it’s not something one wishes for but it is so comforting to share in this natural grieving of losing a parent. I am enormously blessed with amazing friends that are choosing to travel alongside of me on my grief journey, my heart is grateful and thankful. Grieving is a natural response when losing someone important to us. For even believers whose faith and trust is in God, will grieve. We grieve because we miss the physical presence of our loved one and know all the while that our loved one was a believer in Jesus Christ and are in heaven. So, allow yourself some grace, time to process and a time to weep.

“…weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

—-Psalm 30:5b

Remember, Jesus wept! He wept at the tomb of Lazarus. Below are three Bible passages in which, Jesus wept.

Jesus Comforts the Sisters of Lazarus

On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days.  Now Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother.  When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.

“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died.  But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”

Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”

Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

“Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”

After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.”  When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him.  Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him.  When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

Jesus wept.

Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” ~John 11:17-37

Jesus Comes to Jerusalem as King

After Jesus had said this, he went on ahead, going up to Jerusalem. As he approached Bethphage and Bethany at the hill called the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples, saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here.  If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you untying it?’ say, ‘The Lord needs it.’”

Those who were sent ahead went and found it just as he had told them.  As they were untying the colt, its owners asked them, “Why are you untying the colt?”

They replied, “The Lord needs it.”

They brought it to Jesus, threw their cloaks on the colt and put Jesus on it.  As he went along, people spread their cloaks on the road.

When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:

“Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!”

“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”

“I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes.  The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side.  They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.” ~Luke 19:28-44

“Every high priest is selected from among the people and is appointed to represent the people in matters related to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins.  He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness.  This is why he has to offer sacrifices for his own sins, as well as for the sins of the people.  And no one takes this honor on himself, but he receives it when called by God, just as Aaron was.

In the same way, Christ did not take on himself the glory of becoming a high priest. But God said to him,

“You are my Son;
    today I have become your Father.”

And he says in another place,

“You are a priest forever,
    in the order of Melchizedek.”

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.  Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.”      ~Hebrews 5:1-10

“The Lord bless you
and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.” ~Numbers 6:24-26

Thank you for your support and encouragement, I appreciate YOU!

~Charlotte, Seeker of unexpected Comfort, Happiness, Joy and Patience.

References:

https://christ.org/life-of-jesus/jesus-comforts-mary-and-martha/

https://dcmuirigo.org/palm-sunday-when-jesus-wept/

https://www.preceptaustin.org/hebrews_57-8