Frustrations Aflutter

September 8th, 2023

This is how I feel:

This is what I show the world:

What do strong people do when they don’t feel strong? This has been weighing on my mind and body for some time now. I am so blessed to have the support of family and friends in my life. I also have the support of my brother which has brought us closer together and that too is a blessing. One thing I know for absolute certainty is I am never alone on my life’s journey, God is ever-present.

I am reminded today of the passage in Matthew when Jesus went to pray and he ask his disciples to sit and pray while He, himself went off alone to pray to the Father.

Gethsemane

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

—Matthew 26:36-46 (NIV)

Please understand I am in no way making comparisons to Jesus, No Not At All! I am more like James, John and Peter. My spirit is willing but my flesh is indeed weak. There are days I want to just stay in bed and cover my head and sleep. It’s the “run-away” feeling and nowhere to hide! I am scared of the decisions that must be made, overwhelmed at the tasks that need attention and feelings of guilt that it’s not enough. “This is not the way!”

Staying in bed and doing nothing is never the right choice. Praying and asking for guidance and asking others to pray as well…THIS IS THE WAY!

I am a “doer” and a “fixer,” however, I must confess, I struggle to be patient and quiet. I am trying really hard to learn that there are times when one must be embrace patience and see one’s limitations. I am practicing the art of leaning on others to help me. God will provide a way through any obstacles you and I may encounter. God is a loving God, He desires to be an active part of our lives.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

—Romans 8:25-28 (NIV)

Letter to My Heavenly Father


Lord, fill me with your spirit
Fill me to overflowing
Help me spread your love
Through my actions
Through my speech
Through my prayers


I am nothing without you
Teach me your ways O Lord
Keep me within your loving embrace
Give me a humble heart
Give me gentleness of words
Cover me with your abiding grace


I am a seeker O Lord
I thirst for new knowledge
I am your willing servant
Guide me to your Truth
Chase after me when I go astray
I am your child and I often wander way


Without you I am an empty vessel
Without you I fill myself with selfish desires
Without you I am a stranger with no home
Without you I am poor sinful creature
Without you I would not be, for you are my Creator


You alone are my Rock
You alone are my Redeemer
You alone are my Refuge
You alone are my shelter
You alone are my everything
My Father, my Brother and my Spirit


Your word tells me that I can do all things through you, help me to be ever present of your will, give me strength of perseverance until the day of your return or until you call me home. Your loving daughter.

Charlotte A. Robinson ©
March 24th, 2021
16:52 Solidas Park, IN

~Charlotte, Seeker of unexpected Comfort, Happiness, Joy and Patience. 🌼🌾🌻🍃