Dearest friends! I am writing to share with you good news about the “Good News!”

Lately, I have been in a dark place and I tell you this not for pity or excuses. I am sharing life’s challenges in hopes to help others navigate life. I was diagnosed with depression many years ago, I try to keep it in the lower case “d” whenever possible but that is not always easily managed. I recently discovered that just a year ago I was also struggling, thanks to FB sharing posts from 1 year ago, I saw a correlation with my state of mind. On February 6, 2019, I wrote the following and posted it on Twitter & FB on February 19, 2019.

The good news I want to share with you is, you are never alone and you do not need to fear. God is always with you. Below are some of my favorite verses, I hope you find comfort and strength in them as I do.

“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people.” ~Luke 2:10

“And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” ~Matthew 28:20b

“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”~Romans 8:38-39

“Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” ~Isaiah 41:10

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” ~Philippians 4:13

Today, and everyday but most especially today I give thanks to God for His love, His grace, His mercy and His forgiveness. Over the past few days I have been blessed time and again. I tell you God is real and His love is real and unconditional. I pray you know Him is a personal way and have accepted Him as your Lord and Savior! Amen!

I have had several friends reach out to me, checking on me and asking how I’m doing. A couple of days ago, I went to see a movie and had dinner with a friend, we had great conversation over dinner. It felt good to be “alive and participating in life!” Yesterday, two very dear friends invited me to dinner and I had a wonderful time sharing in a meal and in conversation with them as well as with our waitress, “thanks Madison!” It felt good to be “alive and participating in life!” Yesterday morning, “morning” is relative only to the fact I got up and out of bed! I decided to be productive and doing some things around the house I had been neglecting for far too long. I did laundry, dishes, vacuumed, dusted, rearranged furniture…busy, busy, busy!!! It felt good to be “alive and participating in life!” As I was cleaning I ran across a steno pad, I thought nothing of it at first thinking it was one I had used for calculating my budget and spending but it was rather thin. Upon closer examination, I discovered it contained a note that I had written back in 2009. 2009 was a very difficult time in my life, second only to losing my mom. I had just been informed by the person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, no longer felt the same. My world, as I knew it ceased to be and I was devastated and I lashed out. I sat at my dining room table and read the few pages. It immediately transported me back in time to a place and feelings I had neatly tucked away. I simply sat with my thoughts but really needed to process what had just happened. I had not seen that notepad probably since 2009, and how did it end up on my dining room table. I still don’t know for sure but my guess is I had placed it with some of my Christmas stuff, maybe it had been in the drawer with old cards or ribbons and I just didn’t notice. The how it surfaced is really irrelevant to me, I believe that God wanted me to see those words I had written so long ago to remind me that I’m not the same person today. I wrote some hurtful things but they were how I felt at the time. I also noticed something else after reading my note, the response I received. At the time, I was so hurt I could not see past my own feelings. Today, I realized that it took a lot of strength and courage to say the things that were told to me. I am just so sorry it took me so long to recognize it. We have both moved on and we remain friends and the bond of our friendship continues to grow with each passing year.

So, after some contemplating, I reached out to a very trusted friend. I shared most of the above information and felt relief after sharing. I decide I wanted to share this story with the other individual in my story but was not sure if I should talk with my counselor about it first…so, I had decided to wait…… waiting…… my phone rings, it is my friend and ex. It was a call to check in on me to make sure I was doing ok. I thought to myself, this is a window of opportunity sent by God. So I shared, I cried, I felt relief as I shared my thoughts and insight. The relief was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My friend was so supportive and reassuring, such grace and compassion. It felt good to be “alive and participating in life!” I am so Blessed!! All praise and glory are to God alone. I am very hardheaded and stubborn, to put it mildly. I am really good at forgiving others, not so much with myself. Today, I learned (again) by refusing to forgive myself, doesn’t just hurt me but it also hurts my ability to feel alive and to participate in life. It’s not easy and if you struggle with forgiveness as I do, I pray you begin to see the benefits of unloading some old baggage you’ve been carrying for way too long. I wish you much peace, joy and love…”It is good to be alive and participating in life!”

Special thanks to all my readers and supporters! God is working miracles through you!

Special thanks to those I’ve hurt in the past, please forgive me and I pray for your happiness. It bring me joy to know you have joy! You are loved! ❣️

~Peace~ Charlotte

References:

https://www.biblegateway.com/

Dear friends,

I have been experiencing moments of extreme anger lately when I leave my home. My anger is fueled by people! People who are irresponsible and selfish. My first and biggest issue is “trash” almost everywhere I go there is some kind of littering. I walk out my door and careless individuals leave trails of items from there doors to the trash dumpsters. The parking lots have cups and cans and bags to bottle caps. The roadways are littered on all sides. I see fast food containers and bags, furniture and tires. I personally do not litter and when possible I pick up things and dispose of them properly and that too angers me.

The second thing that irritates me is parking, rather parking in places that are clearly posted “NO PARKING!” I do not understand why people feel entitled to park in front of a store, they cannot be in any more of a rush than anyone else. No enforcement to make people abide by the rules that the other 99% of us have to do. By turning a blind-eye to this behavior the stores and establishments are basically giving their stamp of approval for it to continue. And, another thing about these places of business, most have made accommodations for shopping carts to be placed for the convenience of the stores in retrieving the carts and to protect the consumers from damage from carts. People are so lazy they just leave them pretty much where they emptied them in the parking lot. I try to take the cart back into the store when possible or at least to the designated spaces in the lot. If I see abandon carts when entering a store I typically grab a cart or two as I enter the store!

Number #3 on my list of complaints is lazy people in the grocery/department stores when they decide they no longer want to purchase an item, they just place it at the spot they are at! “Decided not to purchase fresh chicken, but you’re now in the toy isle, oh well…someone gets paid to put this back!” 😡🤬🤯. Really…to make things worse, that item most likely gets put back on the shelf after sitting in the toy isle for who knows how long! Attention: yes workers get paid to stock the shelves, their job was not designed around shoppers inability to be responsible for their own actions.

It is literally a chore for me to leave my home, my sanctuary! I don’t like to feel angry all the time, I find it difficult to express care and concern for others when I see them displaying some of these things I’ve listed. My patience is thin and short, which in turns fuels my opinions and cynicism. I don’t like myself very much when that happens, I know I am not judge and jury and may God forgive me for this behavior. I simply felt compelled to share my thoughts and give rise to my voice. I do not want to merely complain and add to the problem, I sincerely want to help. For now and until God leads me to do otherwise, I will continue to do my part in being a responsible person and take responsibility for my actions. And in reality I simply expect the same in return. I need to remind myself that I cannot make people care. “You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink!”

May the love of God surround you and fill you! I love this song and when I hear it, it takes me back to when I was a child. I am immediately transported to the church I grew up in. I’m standing in front of the wooden pews, holding a hymnal and singing this song. I can see my Sunday school teacher, Birdie Smith…and she’s smiling! This, I find comfort in.

~Peace To You, My Friends~

“Truly the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love, to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine. Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and shield. Our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.” ~Psalm 33:18-22

• https://www.biblegateway.com/

Friends and Family ~ Greetings!

I am thankful for this medium in which I can share my thoughts. I have found much comfort in your support of my blog space, in return it is my sincere hope to do the same in return. I have found and continue to find many writers that enlighten me to things and places I have only dream about. I have had the opportunity to meet individuals and read of their adventures, joys, struggles and ideologies of the world; all with mutual respect for one another. This is a world I so wish could exist beyond this space. I have not tried to hide my feelings when I share with my readers through this platform. I do; however, attempt to do so in many of my one on one relationships for a list of unfounded reasons. All of those reasons, are absolutely unfounded in any type of truth. At some point in my life I learned a lesson that has not served me well, yet it remains like a natural reflex. The idea that to share deep pain and frustration with people who care about you is wrong and is a character flaw. Nothing could be further from the truth! It is with those individuals that love us and care for us that we should be most comfortable sharing these struggles. I cannot quote you statistics or scientific studies for why some individuals feel this way, I can only speak from my own personal experiences. I could spend the time researching it and could provide such things but I do not see its relevance in assisting me at this juncture in my life. I believe this chiefly because I know the benefits of trusting and sharing, I just do not always rise to the occasion.

I know myself pretty well and accept that I struggle with depression and that my control of the disease is not always a choice. I like being in charge and when that option is not available it is uncomfortable. Depression is a part of my life, I can do things to help elevate the depths of its grasp on me such as eating healthy, exercising, restful sleep, engage in hobbies, attend social gatherings, spent time with friends and family, listen to music, journal, pray, attend church…these are things I have tried and continue to use. Depression is not something to be ashamed of or something to hide, it is also not to be used as an excuse. Depression does not dominate my life, I can go long periods of time and rarely give it a second thought. There are also times when I can sense change coming and I am able to walk with my depression with little interruptions to my day to day activities. And then, there are times it hits me like walking into a brick wall. I feel attacked and defenseless, taken by surprise and it feels like the wind has been knocked out of me, literally. I feel numb and things appear to be in slow motion. It’s terrifying and inviting all wrapped up together. I’m learning to rely on my friends and family during these times, and it’s not easy but it’s the right thing to do. I urge you to have a plan if any of this resonates with you, confide in someone and trust them with your truth. I promise you that you have more people who love you than you realize. I believe with all my heart that we do not meet people by accident. Our interactions with people make a difference whether we know it or not. I love the plant analogy used where our interactions with others is as if we are planting seeds everywhere we go. Sometimes, we get to see it grow and mature and other times we must trust that once the seed is planted it will be watered and nurtured by someone else. God is the Great Creator and works all things together for good! We must trust God, the Great Gardener of the Universe.

Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”

I recently attended a “Suicide Awareness” training class for my job, and it evoked a lot of emotions. In the short time I have been employed at my current job, at least three people I’ve personally known have committed suicide. I was surprised by each one, questioned myself about missing signs and could I have done something. The training was beneficial though none of the information was anything radically new, other than the rising statistics. “Suicide is a permanent solution to a short term problem.” I’ve never attempted suicide but I have thought about it many times and imagined numerous scenarios in my mind. When I was in my twenties I was is a terrible car accident, I can still remember it happening and thinking to myself “I don’t want to die.” At that time in my life, I was struggling with a bad breakup and thinking to myself, “I’ll never get over this, my life is over. I can’t move past this.” I thank God for His protection and enormous amount of patience with me. I survived the accident with only a few scratches, my car was not as fortunate. Since then I have experienced time and again “things I never thought I would get past but here I am and I did!” I can say with confidence that I’m thankful for all the tough things I’ve endured because they helped me grow in ways I never imagined or expected. God used those seemingly unbearable things as opportunities for self-reflection so that I can now share with you. Things are replaceable, people are not. We are not guaranteed a lifetime with people, cherish your loved ones so that when they pass they will remain in your hearts. I lost my mom in 2012, I still think of her everyday and miss her dearly but mostly I’m thankful for who she was and the legacy she left with everyone who ever met her. She planted a lot of seeds and I’m seeing those seeds grow and mature. I love that!

Sadness is a place that we all travel through from time to time. Watch out for the caution signs as you travel, beware of dangerous intersections and whenever possible travel with a trusted friend. Be observant and alert, be careful of detours and trust your instincts. Remember to have fun on your journey and be kind to yourself. Life is not about having all the answers or about never making a mistake, it’s asking more questions, and learning new ways of doing things. Let the adventure begin…

When I began this post, I was at the corner of Sad/Wallow. I am happy to report that I am now at the intersection of Wonder/Opportunity. Thank you for joining me.

Numbers 6:24-26, “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.”

~Faith~Peace~Renewal~Bold~Clarity

There Once was a Girl

There once was a girl, she cared a lot and gave a lot

There once was girl that fell in love, she loved a lot and gave a lot

There once was a girl that lost her love, she cried a lot and hurt a lot.

She tried and tried to move beyond the pain and the hurt.

There was once a girl, filled with wonder and cheer

There once was a girl she gave her heart away

There was once a girl, she had her heart returned and it hurt a lot

She cried and cried and tried to forget

She tried and tried to move beyond the pain, beyond the hurt

There was once a girl, she cared a lot, gave a lot, loved a lot …lost a lot

-C.A.Robinson ©️

August, 18, 2010 @ 1230

Updated: February 05, 2020 @ 1306

There is a girl, she cares a lot and she gives a lot.

There’s a girl who gives and cares a lot and received a lot more❣️ ~C.A.Robinson©️

References:

https://www.biblegateway.com/

https://maketheconnection.net/conditions/suicide

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My hope is in you. 1 Timothy 6:17 As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. Psalm 71:5 For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth.