Hello my friends-

As some of you know, C. S. Lewis is one of my favorite authors and I often like to quote his work. His book, “The Screwtape Letters,” is a classic and is so relatable. While I was researching online in preparation for this blog entry, to my surprise I found a theatrical adaption of the book being presented in the city I live in! I simply could not believe what I was reading. I searched for tickets and after some careful thought I decided to “Go For It” and I purchase 2 tickets for the event! It’s still a month away and I’m excited to experience the story unfold onstage.

My decision to write about “The Screwtape Letters,” had nothing to do with the theatrical presentation of the book but rather a personal connection to the story line and it’s characters. Over the past several months I have been engaged in a tug-a-war of sorts and I was becoming quite agitated with the whole situation.

If you have never read, “The Screwtape Letters,” I highly recommend it! Have you ever heard any one say, “the devil made me to it?” The main theme of the book follows the correspondence between a mentor (Uncle Screwtape) and mentee (Wormwood) as they attempt to corrupt people (The Patient) from the ways of God and Christianity.

For the record, there’s no evidence ever that “the devil made me do it.” The devil will, spread lies and cast doubts as well as provide one sided examples to confuse and mislead us to doubt things we say we believe. But the ultimate act is ours alone! The devil will lead us right up to line but the crossing of that line is all our own, and the devil…he’s on the other side just smiling.

Over the years I’ve shared my struggles with knowing the difference between “control” and “concern.” These two things can be easy to differentiate at a distance but when you find yourself entangled and engulfed, chaos likely will erupt. I’ve learned some very important things about myself over the past few years and some of it was unpleasant to face and admit. Life began to make a lot more sense once I figured out what I have control of and what I have concerns for; let me tell you, they are vastly different.

Most of my frustrations come from my expectations regarding specific components related to my job, not my job directly. I love what I do and I believe in the tasks I accomplish on a daily basis. I work with some really awesome people and some ok people and well, some who test and push all my buttons!#!

The problem is I am not the person in control, I answer to several others above me who make the decisions. I can absolutely have concerns and should care but I’m employed to follow directions. There’s always a right way to do things and a wrong way, the tough part for me is I sometimes speak with more passion than some are comfortable receiving. I am strong willed and I would never say it is a bad thing, I would however, caution when to present it. I take for granted that people know me the way I know me, “a loud bark and a bit feisty” but once I speak my mind and feel as if I’ve been heard, I’m ok. I think sometimes I feel like I need to be more brazened to be taken seriously. To speak to be heard, as to not be taken advantage of. All of this speaks volumes about me and the person I can be described as and it’s not the whole picture. I can also be quiet and accommodating, welcoming and inviting. At the end of the day, I am only responsible for my actions and my words. The truth is, I’m not everyone’s “cup of tea!” The world is filled with people with different likes, opinions, morals, ethics, political and religious theologies and I don’t have to be best friends with all of them or even like to be around them BUT, I am commanded to “LOVE” everyone.

That’s a tough one especially when we only see things from our own vantage point. What if we place ourselves on the other side of this viewpoint, I certainly want people to like me, I want people to respect me, I want to be heard, I want to be seen! And, yes I want to be loved. Things are not always what they appear to be. My lesson, which I’m still learning is “compassion” having it and extending it to and for others. I like that the word “passion” is part of compassion. To me, it means I do not have to compromise what I’m passionate about in order to be compassionate to someone else. Isn’t that wonderful (?).

So, as much as I want to say “Uncle Screwtape made me do it” I cannot. At times, I think it’s actually Uncle Screwtape that’s “screwing” with me. Maybe so…this I know to be true, God loves me and freely places His grace upon me every single day. Each day I can start anew and ask for His guidance, His protection and His strength to get me through the day. Each night I can thank God for his abundant Blessings. My soul is safeguarded day and night, trusting that Jesus is my salvation. I’m not blameless, I’m not sinless and I am far from perfect and so is everyone else. I am constantly in need of reminding myself of this fact! The Apostle Paul tells us in Romans 3: 22-24 “For there is no distinction, since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; they are now justified by His grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,”

I’m a work in progress and I know my my interacting with Wormwood and Uncle Screwtape are far from over, I find comfort in knowing I am a child of God and that He will never leave me and He will never leave you!

Friends, thank you for continuing to follow me and read my posts. We are all in this great big world together and I’m excited to be on this journey with you. Your support continues to amaze and encourage me. I love to write, I love to read and I love sharing God’s good news with all of you. To those who know me well, thank you for loving me, loving all my imperfections, my feistiness and my overreacting! I am grateful to have you in my life. You add value to mine!

~Peace~

Dear Friends-

My heart is heavy, I learned this week two dear friends have lost loved ones. The first news I received was of the passing of a beloved grandmother, my friend of many years having to say goodbye, while explaining death and dying to her own two boys who will undoubtably miss their great-grandmother. There will be sadness and crying as well, but what a legacy to remember. To know the wisdom that has been shared through these generations and memories to last a lifetime. Then, just today I received news from a friend that her brother had not recovered from a recently illness and had passed. I can’t even imagine the loss of a sibling, my prayers go out to her and her family during this time. Many times when we face death, we tend to brace ourselves for the impact of emotions, deflecting them if possible, just to power through the things that must be done. There’s no right way or wrong way to grieve. I don’t have any special knowledge to share or the perfect way to prepare for death, I do know that no matter what, God will be with us always. As a Christian, I sometimes think we get the whole birth and passing emotions tangled up. Both can and should be a celebration of life. We even shed tears at each occasion. When we are born, we are the living, breathing creation of God. God knew us long before our births and when we pass away from this human existence and earthly form our souls will be reunited with our Creator. Heaven rejoices and God welcomes His children home! And for those of us left here on earth, we feel the void and emptiness while weeping at the loss of our beloved.

David writes in Psalm 30:5 “…Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning.”

This is not literal in terms of hours and days, we all grieve differently as well as experience the stages of grief differently. My experience taught me to be patient with myself. I have been to a lot of funerals, lost many individuals close to me and there’s no such thing as getting over it! Death’s grasp was not fully felt until I lost my mother, I was not prepared for the immediate void, it was cruel and painful. That was my initial state of mind. I made it about me, my loss, my pain, my injustice…I went straight to anger mixed with a bit of denial. Once I was able to process the situation I was able to look at things more clearly. (It’s been over seven years and I still feel the sting of losing her.). I am thankful my mom did not suffer, she would have hated being cared for and taken care of. I know she believed and trusted in God and that she is no longer suffering. The point I’m trying to make is…be you, listen to your heart, your voice and take notice of your emotions. Be true to yourself, love yourself. Trust God!

One of my favorite authors writes a lot on the subject of grief, below are a couple of quotes I would like to share with you.

“We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ‘Blessed are they that mourn,’ and I accept it. I’ve got nothing that I hadn’t bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination.” C.S.Lewis, “A Grief Observed”

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.” C.S.Lewis, “A Grief Observed”

I have included some references below for grief and grieving.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

Friends, (DW & BW) you are in my thoughts and prayers.

~Peace~

References:

https://astillsmallvoice.org/solemn-joy-sweet-sorrow/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

The 5 stages of grief and loss are: 

1. Denial and isolation

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance. 

People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them.

https://griefresourcenetwork.com/crisis-center/hotlines/

https://www.crisisnetwork.org/find-help/behavioral-hyealth-conditions/grief-and-loss/

Books:

A Grief Observed by C.S.Lewis

Tuesday’s with Morrie by Mitch Albom

Lose, Love, Live: The Spiritual Gifts of Loss and Change by Dan Moseley

https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses-for-overcoming-grief/

I wanted to take some time and just BREATHE and to say THANK YOU!