The book reference for today’s devotional was “A Grief Observed” by C.S.Lewis. I had no idea that this would be the reference point when I wrote my blog entry yesterday, all I can say is “God is good, God is always good!” Amen! I remember a time or a few times to be more accurate in my life when I thought I would never again feel happiness or joy, grief can be a heavy burden to carry and to carry alone. Do you know what I have discovered? Not only did I survive those terrible situations I am a better person because of them…wow! Because of loss in my life, I now have insight from personal experiences to be more empathetic to others, I can take better care of myself. I have gained knowledge in areas I didn’t think I needed any help with and I found that I carry around a lot of “stuff” I was never meant to carry. God is working in amazing ways and teaching me things I never knew I needed to know. I’m living into His purposes and plans for my life, I don’t fully understand everything but I’m trusting God. Can I pray for you today? God of heaven and earth, Lord of the universe open the hearts and minds of all who are seeking to know you. Use these words and your scriptures to open the minds and hearts of your children. I ask that you bless and keep everyone that calls upon your name. May all these things be for your glory. Amen!

Quotes from “A Grief Observed”
“For in grief nothing “stays put.” One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral?”

“But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?
How often — will it be for always? — how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, “I never realized my loss till this moment”? The same leg is cut off time after time.”

“This is one of the miracles of love: It gives a power of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted.”

Matthew 11:25-30 “At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do. “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Psalm 68:17-21 “The chariots of God are tens of thousands and thousands of thousands; the Lord has come from Sinai into his sanctuary. When you ascended on high, you took many captives; you received gifts from people, even from the rebellious— that you, Lord God, might dwell there. Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death. Surely God will crush the heads of his enemies, the hairy crowns of those who go on in their sins.”

~Blessings and Peace~

I have found a companion in C.S.Lewis, his writings seem to touch the deepest parts of my soul. Below I have shared two quotes from two separate books he wrote on the subject of death. It wasn’t until I began thinking about this particular devotional that the striking differences of the two are that one describes and explains death in a matter of fact way almost like a definition or outline, cold. In the second book Lewis is more animated and shares emotions rather than the sterile and stale facts about death and its impact on self and others, more introspective. The change in tone and presentation of the two books is that when he wrote “A Grief Observed,” he was reeling from the death of his beloved wife, he shared his grief with his readers and the world. I have no doubt this was both painful and therapeutic, it is because of his writings and supportive people in my life I am able to share my grief. I had experienced loss in my life but when my mother passed away, it was as if time stopped. It was true but I didn’t want to believe it. Sometimes we have to not merely read about something for it to be true, some of us also need to experience it. My encounters with death prior to my mom had been in the matter of fact category much like Lewis’s first book “The Problem of Pain.” After the passing of my mom, I looked at death differently, you may find this difficult to believe or grasp but I’m grateful that I’m not over her death, grief has a beautiful way of helping one heal and process, I miss my mom every single day, that’s not to say I’m sad and distraught on a daily basis because I am not. For selfish reasons I miss her, she’s in a far better place and she’s at peace and I know she’s in God’s care. I try to celebrate her whenever possible, I speak her name often and laugh and remember silly special things she did. The thing is if I had never experienced her loss, I could not share these things with you. My hope and my prayer is that God will use this space to help someone else.

“We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our prayer pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

“We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ‘Blessed are they that mourn,’ and I accept it. I’ve got nothing that I hadn’t bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination.”
C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Colossians 2:2-6 “My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments. For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how disciplined you are and how firm your faith in Christ is. So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him,”

Psalm 140:1-8 “Rescue me, Lord, from evildoers; protect me from the violent, who devise evil plans in their hearts and stir up war every day. They make their tongues as sharp as a serpent’s; the poison of vipers is on their lips. Keep me safe, Lord, from the hands of the wicked; protect me from the violent, who devise ways to trip my feet. The arrogant have hidden a snare for me; they have spread out the cords of their net and have set traps for me along my path. I say to the Lord, “You are my God.” Hear, Lord, my cry for mercy. Sovereign Lord, my strong deliverer, you shield my head in the day of battle. Do not grant the wicked their desires, Lord; do not let their plans succeed.”
~Blessings and Peace~