Growth, Prayers Answered

Hello dear friends

I’ve been spending time reading some of my writing from over the years and wanted to share some with you. My hope is that it might resonate with someone else and help promote healing and recognition of the power of God. Without God, I am nothing! As I read this particular writing and the corresponding date it was written, it reminded me of just how far God has brought me. I was still struggling with the loss of my mother and though I didn’t truly acknowledge it at the time, I needed to find myself and to figure out what I wanted in this life. I was still struggling with being alone after a nine year relationship and found it hard to let go and move forward. I caused myself a lot of frustration, directly due to my stubbornness. The other huge factor during all this was I kept God at a distance. Foolishly thinking I could handle life on my own. Through the years I have learned that God doesn’t make things just disappear from our lives, He walks with us through life and all it’s road bumps. He truly is a friend to sinners. I’m proud to call him friend, He’s my life Savior! The past few years have not always be easy or burden free but it has been so worth it, knowing that I am a stronger person, a more accepting person, a better human being, a more devoted and thankful Christian, trusting God with my life. And the best news of all, it’s all available to you as well. It makes no difference who you are or where you’re from…God loves you and wants to be your God! Trust Him!


A special thank you to my friends who stood by me through thick and thin; thank you for renewed friendship that I was sure I had ruined beyond repair due to my inability to be honest about myself years ago; thank you to a new friend that has become so special to me, you are my mentor, teacher, friend and spiritual guide and pure joy to share life experiences with; to friendships that have remained strong throughout my life with grace, patience and forgiveness, thank you. I’m tempted to list their names but I’m fearful I would miss someone and would feel awful for that.

A very special thank you to my church and church family. You have loved me unconditionally and I consider myself family to each and every one of you!


August 31, 2013 2:30 PM

“As I sit here typing letters to this page, forming words to describe the feelings I have pinned up in my head, my very soul is agitated, feelings are bouncing around in my head, is that supposed to happen? I’m angry but failing to understand why? When this day started I was focused and driven, by mid-afternoon I became a woman possessed…loud, negative and condescending, it was as if I lost total control of who I am.  I did not recognize the person I became,  a stranger in my body acting absurd and foolish.  I believe I actual had a temper- tantrum, seriously at my age.  Could all this anger come from being afraid? I’ve never been good at asking for help, always thinking someone will figure me out and just know what to do for me.  Less accountability on myself…I’ve never been a mom but my mom could tell by the sound of my voice or simply my actions to know something was up…I miss my mom.  I try to get what I need from my friends, but when they fail to recognize my needs, I implode like an old forgotten casino in Vegas, giving way to new neon lights…I melt like ice cream in late July!  As if its someone else’s responsibility to magically know what I need! Oh God, I’m broken and I need help, help me find my missing pieces. Teach me to ask for what I need, show me the difference between making a request and begging & being burdensome, teach me how to accept the truth.  I stand in shame of my actions, wishing I could take it all back but what is done, is done.  Such finality of it all! Oh God of mercy I am utterly ashamed of my words and actions and though I am not worthy of your forgiveness, I seek your mercy and grace to be upon me as I close out this day and my I be reminded of your steadfast and unconditional love for me and that I will see others through eyes of mercy and grace even in my humanness, to God be the glory forever and ever! Amen.”

All praise and glory be to God! ~Amen


My Refuge

My body so heavy, I dare not move a muscle.

I feel petrified, my screams are all I have left.

Crying out for the one person that can soothe my fears.

She’s no longer there, no rescue today.

I wake, it was all a dream…I slowly pull myself from bed,

Only to realize, she’s really gone and I’m alone in the dark.

No matter the age a child becomes, 

Mothers’ will always be our refuge.

June 5, 2013

Snippets: Thoughts & Words

Hello friends~

I Just wanted to share a few snippets of my writings with you. Life is a beautiful journey and God has been with me every step of the way, especially when I have felt alone and forgotten. There’s something to be learned every single day and our growth is limited only by our our imagination. Stop listening to who the world says you are and start listening to God and trusting in His Plan!

May God Bless You and thank you for reading my words, I am humbled and honored you took the time.


“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” ~John 14:27


My Non-Specific Phobia: “Middle(ness)”

Middle is defined as being in the midst of something.

“As we release the hold of expectations and disappointments, as we stop trying to live into the imagined life and live the one we have been given, we discover a profound inner freedom to make choices out of love, rather than obligation or resentment.”  ~Christine Valters Paintner, PhD, The Wisdom of Mary and the Sacred Feminine – An Online Self-Study Retreat

I read the above quote after having a heartfelt conversation with a very dear friend about current challenges I am facing in life and being reminded that God has a plan, He’s always had a plan. I simply need to trust the plan and be open to the lessons God is teaching me.

I have found myself questioning many things over the past several days and formulating worst case scenarios so that I can be prepared for what the future may hold. Being prepared is not a bad thing, we all live better lives knowing that we have options and choices. The struggle for me and maybe others is that I am pretty good at beginning things (planning) and imagining the culmination of said things, I really struggle with the unknown and uncharted areas of the middle. I have often described myself as starting at “A” of the alphabet and quickly progress/jump to “Z” skipping the “B-Y” which is the true essence of said thing. True, it’s hard but so worth it. I say that because I know it to be true, I have not always been one to skips parts but I’ve learned, practiced and in a very sad way perfected it over the years. My reasoning for this has been in some respects; is that one can skip a lot of hurt, sadness and pain by avoiding the middle. The same can be said about missing the joys, happiness and pleasures of life that occur smack dab in the middle.

I know that my sense of reasoning is flawed and has come at a high price over the years. Being strong and responsible are great qualities to possess but being vulnerable and fragile doesn’t make one any less strong or responsible. It’s completely possible for all to exist together. Life is about taking chances and can be truly rewarding While experiencing the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I know I need to stop believing all the lies I tell myself and the lies I have imagined others saying to me or about me. I need to trust in God, accept God’s grace that He created me with purpose, on purpose and with a plan. I’ve hurt myself more than any other individual possibly could.

One of the biggest and best things we can do to move forward is to FORGIVE! Forgive ourselves for believing falsehoods about ourselves and forgive others of hurts that they directly or indirectly placed on us.

“Forgiveness is not about freeing the other person, it is about freeing yourself.” – Lisa Layden

Quote from, “How The Power Of Forgiveness Will Set You Free”

By: Tony Fahkry in the Mission (

“Forgiveness does not erase the past, but looks upon it with compassion.

To withhold forgiveness keeps alive emotions of hurt, anger and blame which discolour your perception of life.

To forgive, avoid ruminating on thoughts of being wronged. Rather, trust the power of forgiveness to heal the hurt and pain.

By holding on to pain and resentment, you suffer because the sorrow is intensified to keep it alive.

Despite people’s perceptions that forgiveness means to forget, its motive is preserved in self-forgiveness and the role you played in co-creating the circumstances.

This does not mean you consented to what transpired. Given your involvement, even as a victim, you forgive yourself regardless of your role.

Forgiveness means to let go of hatred, instead of allowing it to eat at you.”

“Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” ~Colossians 3:13-14

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” ~Matthew 6:12

It is my hope that this post provides encouragement to keep moving forward, strength to believe in yourself (myself) and courage to embrace and experience the “MIDDLE.”

Glean, the good.

Sift, the unpleasant.

Hold, the truths.



Selfless, Selfish…Finding Balance

Hello Friends~

I wanted to share with you some thoughts about change. The past week has been challenging for me in many respects and I have found myself wanting to share but having difficulty finding a way to express myself. It is not necessarily a lack of words, as my mind and thoughts have felt like a tornado of letters twirling around inside my head. The movie “Twister” comes to mind! My father has been experiencing a lot of medical issues recently and has been in two different hospitals just within the past seven days.

Selfishly, I think of myself…as my schedule has changed, I’ve slept in hospital chairs, taken time off of work and been away from my home and personal space. I am thankful for the ability to take time off work, thankful for coworkers covering my shifts and sick days to cover my leave. I thankful to be close to my family and honored to be able to care for my dad in his vulnerable condition. I’m thankful for my brother who has also sacrificed duties and responsibilities to be with dad and me. I’m blessed with family and friends who have lifted my family in prayer and have maintained contact through emails and text messages, I’m overwhelmed by the love and support.

When it comes to family, there’s an area I find quite troublesome, “parenting.” I am experienced in the child to adult relationship but from adult to child, I have no real practical experience. I know what it’s like to be a daughter, sister, aunt, and cousin but not mom. The fact finding process I conducted on myself tells me God knew exactly what he was doing in not making me a parent/mom. After this past week, I now understand the “No” answer to my prayers when I tried very hard to conceive back in 2008-2009, I’m clearly not equipped now and certainly would not have been then either. I’m not upset or bitter about it, it has all worked out for the best. My life is definitely in a much different place and space now. No regrets regarding the past, it is that past that paved the road to where I am now. I image caring for an parent as they age is kind of a role reversal of sorts, i am now caring for my dad as he has always cared for me. I could never repay all the things my parents have done for me and continue to do for me. My parents have molded me into the person I am today. I’m doing the best that I know how and ironically I’m sure that’s exactly what my parents would have said when they started their life journey together that included two children and two grandkids. I’m struggling with whether I’m making the right decisions, am I too direct, and I too stern…lots of doubts and questions, just wanting to do the right things in the best way possible. God is the only one who truly knows what’s best for us and even when we try to take life into our own hands and try to create our own destiny, God never leaves us and is always with us, especially during those times when we yank the steering wheel from God’s guiding hands.

I hope you are able to glean some morsels of encouragement from this post, God’s words-not mine. God Bless you and I thank you for your support this space!

Some days I am swollen with 
possibility, a ripe peach, 
fingers sticky with sweetness, 
while others I am hollowed out, 
a bone scraped clean

  — Christine Valters Paintner, PhD, excerpted from “Pendulum” in Dreaming of Stones: Poems

Life can be both good and challenging, filled with highs and lows, mountain tops and lowly valleys. Life is a series of seasons, similar to the weather season we experience every year.

“There seems to always be a guarantee in life that change will happen. Change is something we tend to fear and become anxious about because we do not feel in control of life. The good news is that God has a plan for your life…to hope, for a future, and to prosper. If we trust in God and allow the change to grow within us, to become more like Jesus Christ in how we respond and act, then we are promised that all things will work together for good for those who love Him and keep His commandments!

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” ~Ecclesiastes 3:1

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” ~Hebrews 13:8

“God is not a human being, that he should lie, or a mortal, that he should change his mind. Has he promised, and will he not do it? Has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?” ~Numbers 23:19

Change feels like it impedes upon our sense of independence and makes us feel like we have lost control over our own lives. Our sense of self-determination is often the first thing to go when we are faced with the potential of change occurring in our lives and even more so when it comes from someone else. 



Opinions & Rights: Who’s Right?


I’m troubled…

• troubled by wanting to write this

• troubled with a need to write this

• troubled by the aching within me

Everyday as I drive to work I look at the roadside trash and wonder, why?

I am a realist, in the sense that the wind blows and some things just happen. I’m ok with that, though we still have a responsibility to maintain our planet. The things that cause me to question and literally shake my head are:

• The entire space outside of the world is not your personal landfill. Why must trash be thrown out the window of a moving vehicle? There’s literally trash cans and receptacles everywhere, especially in towns and cities. Your vehicle cannot be so precious that it can’t contain trash until proper disposal can be found.

• Just because it’s biodegradable, doesn’t mean you should dispose of it anywhere you would like.

• Why is mutual respect so hard?

Daily, I see construction on the rise and the price is destruction of trees and earth and (I) wonder, why?

I grew up in rural America, so I appreciate green grass and big beautiful trees. I understand the need for new construction and expansion but I also like the idea of breathing clean quality air which trees help to provide.

Most days, as I listen to the news; liberal, moderate and conservative and wonder, why?

• Why does everyone seem to be “yelling”

• Yelling at one another

• Yelling over one another

Why criticize everything?

Why not try compromise?

• Suggestion: for every 2 negative comments say something positive(?)

I’m simply stating my concerns, though I stated them as “troubles” sometimes I just want to share my thoughts with people who will listen and maybe even share some of my thoughts. I don’t come necessarily with an agenda and I don’t want to take aim at people only point out the end result of our (mine include) actions and the effects they have on others.

I’ve been guilty more times than I want to admit of “yelling” to make my point instead of listening and talking, having a conversation. I don’t like to admit this, but I have been known to be incorrect and down right wrong about things I’ve said and done! We all are capable of great good and well, the opposite. But, wait…we have help any time and any place.

“My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” -Psalm 121:2

Nehemiah 8:10 “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Exodus 15:2 “The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.

There’s a plethora of topics I could post about in this space but my ache is not so much the topics as it is the methods employed to present, advocate promote and disagree with of said topics. People matter, words matter and yes, methods matter. These words are all well and good but not everyone thinks like me or even wants to be treated as I would like to be treated, so where do we go from here….



Mother’s Day 2019

Hello –

Today is Monday, May 13th, 2019.  Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I had the honor of speaking at my church along with another incredible speaker who shared her story of motherhood with the congregation.  It was a beautiful day of celebrating women, mothers and spirit mothers who share and teach the truths of Jesus and His love.  I wanted to share the service with you and hope that it blesses you in some small way.  Wishing all women a belated “Happy Mother’s Day!”  Also, to the dads that do double duty, being mom and dad! Happy Mother’s Day to you as well!

Beautiful and Touching Story Reveals a Woman’s Only Flaw

When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day…….
An angel came by and asked.” Why spend so much time on her?”
The lord answered. “Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?”
She must function on all kinds of situations,
She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time,
Have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart,
She must do all this with only two hands,” She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day”
THE ANGEL was impressed “Just two hands…..impossible!
And this is the standard model?”
The Angel came closer and touched the woman
“But you have made her so soft, Lord”.
“She is soft”, said the Lord,
“But I have made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome.”
“Can she think?” The Angel asked…
The Lord answered. “Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.”
The Angel touched her cheeks….
“Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her”
“She is not leaking…it is a tear” The Lord corrected the Angel…
“What’s it for?” Asked the Angel…. .
The Lord said. “Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.”…
This made a big impression on the Angel,
“Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything.
A woman is indeed marvelous”
Lord said, “Indeed she is.
She has strength that amazes a man.
She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.
She holds happiness, love and opinions.
She smiles when she feels like screaming.
She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid.
She fights for what she believes in.
Her love is unconditional.
Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life”
The Angel asked: “So she is a perfect being?”
The lord replied: “No. She has just one drawback
She often forgets what she is worth.”

—Author unknown




Hello to all my friends-

It’s been a few weeks since my last post. I’ve missed sharing my thoughts with all of you and honestly I’ve missed sharing God’s Word. I purposely decided to take a break after posting everyday during Lent, I thought the rest would be beneficial. What I have discovered is that I feel disconnected. Disconnected from this platform of fellow writers and bloggers. This space and platform here on WordPress provides fertile ground to share ideas, opinions, beliefs, faith and fantasy to list a few. It’s a community that encourages and promotes one another, a place to express oneself. Speaking only for myself, I have only encountered positivity from others utilizing the site. What a blessing!

The past few weeks I’ve felt like a wanderer, not really going in any specific direction and my thoughts have also been distracted. It’s been tough to concentrate on life in general. During Lent I truly felt purpose and direction, I was on a mission of sorts. The culmination of Easter and the celebration that Jesus conquered death and paid the debt of since, once and for all! Church services on Easter Sunday were spectacular at my church. My best friend from work attended with his beautiful family, what joy it was to see them worshipping with my church family. Another dear friend from work also attended with her entire family that was visiting from another state. An entire row was filled with friends of mine and my heart was full. The other wonderful thing that happened that morning was that my church was full, filled with people praising God and singing songs of resurrection. Memories of my childhood flooded my thoughts, remembering wearing a new easter dress, carrying an easter purse and wearing an easter hat. At one moment while singing a familiar Easter song, I closed my eyes and I was transported back to the church of my youth, standing in front of the old wooden pews and seeing the faces of old friends and mentors, long gone now. It was a gift, indeed every day we have is a gift from God. One might think that I’m promoting the space and building of that Easter morning, but you would be incorrect. While attending church is vital and important to me and my journey, my joy that morning was being with the people gathered at the service. The building provided shelter, but our hearts and minds were connected through our love for God and the incredible gift of salvation because of Jesus.

Churches provide many things to many people for many reasons. Our relationship with God and fellow believers is something far greater than a building. When I think of Heaven, I don’t imagine a building I imagine a collective presence praising God, a connectivity with others who love God. It’s similar to an environment I wish we had now on earth. Even if you don’t believe what I believe, why can’t we live in peace. Why can’t we simply respect one another and the choices we make as long as we are not harming others. As a Christian, I want to share the love of God but you have a choice to decide for yourself. If your an atheist or agnostic, I respect your belief and only ask the same in return. There’s days I wish I had more money, maybe not millions but more comfortable but by no means do I think those who do have millions should have to share it with me. No matter my circumstances, I have choices. I could get another job, I could work multiple jobs, I could sacrifice social and family life, but to what ends… I can’t blame someone with money for me not having any. Some have don’t nothing but being born to be rich, others have worked and sacrificed, while others might just be lucky. Life is more than money, that statement is easy to say when you have money. It can also be easy to say when life is entrusted to God. I am not rich by any sense of the word, do I struggle (?) absolutely and I make sacrifices and plan for things I want and try to make informed decisions about the things I absolutely need. It’s not magic and there’s no pot of gold at the end of a rainbow but I know that since surrendering my financial situations to God and seeking His direction, God has always provided. When I say provided, I mean that my eyes were opened to opportunities; maybe it’s working overtime, maybe it’s prioritizing needs/wants, sometimes it’s giving because someone else’s needs are greater than mine. God’s provision isn’t simply money falling from the sky, often it’s not money at all and the value of the lesson learned is priceless. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is that when you’re giving, give with a grateful heart…it makes a world of difference! Trusting that God only wants and desires the very best for you!

“So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” ~Matthew 6:34

As I’m sharing my thoughts with you, please know that I am not an expert on any of these topics or subjects. I am human just like everyone else on this planet, wishing and hoping for peace and acceptance. I’m interested in learning and understanding things that are foreign to me. I would not say that I’m worldly and I’m not necessarily naive but I would say there’s a great divide between the two.

Speaking plainly, there’s a lot wrong in the world right now and I think most would agree with that statement. However, there is also a lot of GOOD going on in the world today. For all the things we all disagree with, I’m willing to say that we many things we do agree with and why don’t we celebrate those things. Goodness can grow as quickly has hate, we just have to change the conversation. I don’t care what your political affiliations are or what your religious beliefs might be, can’t we just treat one another like we want to be treated?

Even if you don’t want to do good, how about do no harm?

Here’s some questions we can all ask ourselves before we act/do something:

• “Why am I doing this?”

• “Will my actions hurt anyone?”

• “Is this ethical?”

• “Is this illegal?”

• “Who does this affect?”

“Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” ~Joshua 1:9 – 



Lent 2019 – Easter Sunday

“Mary Magdalene left and announced to the disciples, “I’ve seen the Lord.” Then she told them what he said to her.” ~John 20:18

Hallelujah! He is Risen! Christ is Alive!

Good Morning Dear Friends! For all who have been a part of this Lenten journey, I thank you for your support, encouragement and your prayers. I have truly enjoyed sharing with you everyday using this format. It has been a learning experience for me to re-read and lament on the story of Jesus, his life, his ministry, his death and his resurrection. We have talked about living like Jesus and doing what Jesus would do. We looked at letting go of things that distract and keep us from fullness of life and relationship with Jesus. We learned that Lent is not necessarily about giving something up but can also be about giving into things as well, such as attending a bible study, going to Sunday school, listening to Christian music, reading your bible more to list a few. And most recently, we talked about grief. We have imagined the grief the disciples might have experienced and the pain that Jesus’ mother, Mary would have endured. The one person, we have not really talked about is God, the Father and the sacrifice made and the enormous pain inflicted because of love, love for you and me.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.  If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another. ~John 15:9-17

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ~ 1 John 4:9-11

What a glorious day! I’m looking forward to Sunrise Service, Church Breakfast, Sunday School and Church Service. I love Sunday mornings, seeing my church family and friends. Singing worships songs and praising God alongside my family, my family and my church are synonymous! The Lenten season may be over as far as the giving up or giving into but our journey continues. We are called to spread the gospel to all, where that’s traveling the globe or just to you neighborhood, they are all important destinations for us to share the love of Jesus. Sharing and spreading the Good News of Jesus is accomplished through both our words and our actions.

Go forth is peace, knowing that sin no longer has a hold on you, Jesus paid the price for all.

Remember, we are called to love everyone. To love someone does not require you to agree with the other person in every aspect. Remember, God will not judge you based on someone else actions, only yours.

I’m a true believer that love and mutual respect can solve a lot of human-made issues. I’m not saying it’s easy to love everyone, I know for an absolute fact…it is HARD. I work on this every day and I hope you will join me as well.


Wishing your day will be blessed! I wish this Easter will bring you and your home peace, love and happiness. Wishing you a renewed faith in life to strive harder for your goals and ambitions on this Easter Sunday. Easter is a time to rejoice and be thankful for the gift of salvation, forgiveness, life eternal, love everlasting joy.

Breath Prayer: Alleluia,…Alleluia!



Lent 2019 – Holy Week – Holy Saturday

Holy Saturday, April 20, 2019

“Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting in front of the tomb.” ~Matthew 27:61

Friends, Greetings to you on this Holy Day-Holy Saturday. Let your imagination take you back in time, imagine being with the disciples and other followers of Jesus and grieve with them. The person they had followed and had abandoned everything in their lives for, was dead. They watched in agony as the Roman soldiers crucified him on a wooden cross. He was mocked and shamed and worst of all, he was completely innocent. It is very difficult indeed to imagine this event yet we know it is true. I’ve watched several movies made depicting the crucifixion and the Mel Gibson film, “The Passion of Christ” has been the most difficult for me to watch as its cinematography is so real, it reaches out and touches all the human senses.

Today, as believers we know the rest of the story but those who were there with Jesus did not. The grieved, they mourned, they were confused and they were angry. They did not understand or comprehend all that Jesus had told them about events that were happening. Not much has changed over the centuries when it comes to death, we still grieve and mourn and ask questions. We also continue to practice similar rituals if you will, like watching and waiting. I’ve attended several funerals and many have the same practices along with specific cultural variations. A common ritual is seeing the body, a reality check and convincing ourselves that the person is really gone. At funerals, people come to support the family members and to share common stories and to show respect for the person who had passed. In my personal opinion, it is a celebration, celebrating the life of the person who passed and validating their existence and the impact they had on individuals and their communities. It was difficult for me to accept the passing of my mom, as it is for others, I’m not special in that regard. The stages of grief are the same but the way in which we each process them is different and that’s ok. God is with each one of us at whichever stage we are going through. There’s no right way or wrong way to progress through the stages, just be you and lean on Jesus and the support of friends and family. It’s been nearly seven years since I last saw my mom, I remember the day, the time, the event, the circumstance, the place, the words and that final “i love you” and the last hug and embrace. I can sometimes almost hear her laugh as in the distance. I miss our Saturday afternoon phone calls. I also remember getting “the call”, the time, the place, my actions and my response. I remember wanting to see her, convince myself it was true. By the time I reached my parents home several of my relatives were already there but, my mom was gone. She had not just died but her body was gone as well and to make the situation worse, I was not allowed to view her body until three days later at the funeral. At the time I remember my aunt Helen telling me it was for the best but I didn’t think so. Years later, I’m glad that my last memories are of the hug and embrace and hearing “i love you.” It’s a blessing I never saw coming but I’m so thankful for now.

Friends, do not rush through today because you know the joy that comes tomorrow. Let’s sit with the events that unfolded long ago, contemplate and ponder a savior who died. Rest and wrestle with the hopelessness, for it is there that new life can truly emerge.

These are the last recorded words of Jesus written in the Gospels:

Here’s two references to the Old Testament book of Psalm from Matthew and Mark:

Breath Prayer: Stay with me…as I keep watch.



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