Do You Know Me

Tuesday, May 16th, 2023

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:12 —

“You have searched me, Lord,and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise;you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down;you are familiar with all my ways.”

~Psalm 139:1-3 (NIV)

It is true that God knows each and every person, God is our Creator, our Father. I am not just saying this, I really believe it. God knows us better than our best friends and family. There’s no hiding from our Creator, although we try, oh how we try…

I’m sharing these thoughts with you today because I’m struggling, struggling with life and the unknowing, the uncertainty of earthly things.

Yesterday simply by chance I watching the college softball playoff brackets take shape. I allowed myself to daydream a bit…when I was in high school our school newspaper ask students what they wanted to be/do after H.S. My answer was to play professional softball (I don’t think that’s even a thing), nonetheless that was what I dreamed of. I started playing the game at age 5 and continued playing well into my thirties. I have so many memories and I really liked the skills the game taught me through the years. My favorite thing, other than playing the game was my mom being at every game possible. She was my biggest fan and supporter. I hope she knew just how much I loved being her daughter and how much I loved her. Beautiful memories.

I told a friend recently that I am at an age where the road ahead of me is much shorter than the one behind me. I am facing questions and life decisions that seem impossible but here I am. It’s funny, thinking back at the dreams I had of what my life might look like at the age I am…I was like most other girls I grew up with, I thought of marriage and a family. I watch a hallmark Christmas movie and think, awe I wish…

Life is not a hallmark movie and our dreams don’t always come true. Don’t get me wrong, dreams are good to have and I haven’t given up on all of mine just yet. I have made my share of bad decisions and have lived through them and learned to make better ones. I have loved boldly, I have lost love painfully and my heart mended. I’ve hurt people I care about, I’ve lied, cheated and been forgiven, not because I deserved it necessarily but granted through compassion, mercy and lots of grace.

I try not to use the word regret because for every bad choice or decision I have made, I’ve learned about myself. God has shown me a better way and has never stopped loving me, no matter how ridiculous or stupid I’ve been.

This post is NOT just about me, I’m no more and no less important than anyone else. We all struggle and we are all children of God, loved simply because we are His children.

Life is by definition “living.” *See Merriam-Webster-Webster

Things don’t always turn out as we expect them too, sometimes they are even better! However, when things seem to be “discombobulated” we can choose to give into defeat or we can rise above it. Fight or Flight, perhaps. I tend to turn within myself, close others out and retreat into my living space. I have friends and I have family to turn to and they would do whatever I need but, I often choose solitude. Being alone is not the same as loneliness, it can be a thin line though. I struggle with depression and have for most of my life. I am fully aware of the darkness that comes with the diagnosis and I practice being proactive instead of reactionary to its symptoms. Staying active and engaged with others is a great option. I am currently training for a weekend 30 miles in 3 days walk happening this fall to rise money for breast cancer preventative services and affordable mammograms for women. I have recently started to see the benefits of healthier eating with some weight loss. These are wonderful things that add joy to my life.

A few things that people may or may not know about me…

• I love to watch movies, all except horror films
• I love to listen to audiobooks
• I love learning about C.S.Lewis
• I’m a romantic at heart
• I long for companionship
• I ache for knowledge
• I have a bucket list
• I love going to Walt Disney World
• I love spending time with friends
• I miss my high school best friends
• I miss my college friends
• I want to travel
• I want a Honda Rebel 1100 DCT (Green Metallic)
• I don’t like conflict
• I don’t like brussels sprouts
• I love coke zero
• I want to take train ride vacation
• I want honest politicians
• I want peace
• I want no more wars
• I miss the feeling of being in love
• I miss being in love

So, what’s on your list…

Everyone needs help with something at some point in their lives; brave and courageous individuals seek and ask for help. Talking to someone does not make you weak. You matter and I matter, God loved us!

https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

• National Depression Hotline at (866) 629-4564

• Veterans Crisis Line Text 838255

• Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.

• Línea de Prevención del Suicidio y Crisis 1-888-628-9454

• Disaster Distress Helpline Call or Text 1-800-985-5990

In a world 🌍 where you can be anything, BE YOURSELF! There’s no one quite like you in the world. 🌎 Shine Bright ☀️ 🌏

Friends, thank you for taking time out of your day to visit my blog. I am blessed with wonderful people in my life and I am thankful for my internet blogger friends. God bless you, everyone!

~Charlotte, Seeker of Hope — Psalm 62:5

References:

• https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1Cor.13.12&version=NIV

• https://www.merriam-webster.com/

• https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

• https://mailchi.mp/abbeyofthearts/daily-nourishment-from-abbey-of-the-arts-may16-2023?e=128ba1455f