POEMS ‘Five Sonnets’ by C.S.Lewis
Lewis’s series titled “Five Sonnets” in Poems is about bereavement and seems to have been written after Joy’s death. “Read Dante,” Lewis says there, because before Dante was comforted he had to pass down to the frozen center and up the mountain of pain. Lewis ended A Grief Observed with Dante’s words: Por si torno all’ eterna fontana. (For if I become all ‘eternal fontana). Another favorite book of mine by Lewis is “A Grief Observed,” I’ve read it twice since my mom passed away in 2012 and it brings me comfort each time. We all find ways that best help us navigate grief and mine was and is writing my thoughts down. By writing my thoughts down I have gained clarity and through that knowledge I found a way to not be angry that my mom was gone. I’ve since realized that as long as she is alive in my heart she hasn’t really left at all. I speak her name often and smile while reliving moments with her in my mind. Her laugh, her smile, her heart, her respect for family and her charity, how she lived and loved out loud.
The day I never wanted to come
That day has come and gone
The imagined loss and emptiness
Those feelings have settled in
A void that cannot be filled
How does one grieve such a loss
Not with time, family or friends
Such a loss with open wounds
Wounds that are felt more than seen
Pain that blocks all healing
Mourning that feels no relief
Just one more hug or embrace
One more I love you
No one can ease the pains of life
Nothing like a mothers love
Mom, I miss you
I miss you everyday.
~July 28, 2012 @ 10:26pm
Revelation 3:19-22 “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”
The passage below from the Psalm is one of history, the history of the Israelites and their sin, time and time again, God did not destroy them; for the true reason is, He is full of compassion.
Psalm 78:23-39 “Yet he gave a command to the skies above and opened the doors of the heavens; he rained down manna for the people to eat, he gave them the grain of heaven. Human beings ate the bread of angels; he sent them all the food they could eat. He let loose the east wind from the heavens and by his power made the south wind blow. He rained meat down on them like dust, birds like sand on the seashore. He made them come down inside their camp, all around their tents. They ate till they were gorged— he had given them what they craved. But before they turned from what they craved, even while the food was still in their mouths, God’s anger rose against them; he put to death the sturdiest among them, cutting down the young men of Israel. In spite of all this, they kept on sinning; in spite of his wonders, they did not believe. So he ended their days in futility and their years in terror. Whenever God slew them, they would seek him; they eagerly turned to him again. They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer. But then they would flatter him with their mouths, lying to him with their tongues; their hearts were not loyal to him, they were not faithful to his covenant. Yet he was merciful; he forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath. He remembered that they were but flesh, a passing breeze that does not return.”
~Blessings and Peace~